Mad Science Squirrel/transcript

This article is a transcript of the Kamp Koral: SpongeBob's Under Years episode "Mad Science Squirrel/transcript" from season , which aired on .

[The episode opens with a shot of the Krusty Kanteen. The camera pans downwards into Plankton's lab.]
Plankton: [laughing maniacally as his shadow is seen; he is in front of a mechanical box] Steady... [holding onto a wrench] Almost... [gets electrocuted and faceplants, then groans while getting up, and screams as he is blasted with flames from the box]
Karen: That happens every time you touch that device. Maybe it's time for the trash heap.
Plankton: I'm not throwing out my mayhem machine.
Karen: What does it do?
Plankton: What doesn't it do? [presses a button on a remote, which pulls up a blueprint presentation on a slide, of which Mr. Krabs is shown being electrocuted by the machine] It has death rays, [slide changes to Mr. Krabs covering his ears as the machine hits him with sonic waves] sonic cannons, [slide changes to Mr. Krabs disoriented over the machine using a boxing glove to hit the ground] earthquake instigators, [slide changes to Mr. Krabs sadly holding an umbrella under a rain cloud] deadly weather manipulators, [slide changes to Mr. Krabs being blinded by a stage light held by the machine] and really bright lights that shine in your eyes. [laughs maniacally]
Karen: Why is Camp Master Krabs the only victim in your slides?
Plankton: [laughs, walks off] Is he? I didn't notice.
Karen: [rolling over to Plankton welding in the machine] Oh, speaking of Krabs, don't forget, he wants you to hand out science badges to the campers today.
Plankton: [stops welding] Huh? [throws welding helmet off] Drat! How can I get anything done with Krabs eating up all my free time? [leans against the machine, gets electrocuted, moans]
[Bubble transition to the science fair, being held near the General Store. Two campers are talking to each other, and SpongeBob and Patrick are looking at the covered science presentations from Sandy, Kevin, Harvey, and two others. A girl walks on-screen carrying hers. Plankton exits the General Store through its bottom part, pulling along science badges on a cart.]
Plankton: Eugh. [using megaphone] Alright, you imbeciles, it's [waves a badge] science badge day. Shut up and present. [tosses megaphone off-screen, continues walking]
Boy: [off-screen] My project!
Kevin: [showing Plankton his and Harvey's project] Behold the power that destroyed Pompeii. The mighty volcano! [takes off cloth to reveal volcano model] Harvey, if you please.
Harvey: [puts baking soda into the volcano with a spoon] Just add baking soda and [pours vinegar into the volcano] vinegar, and... [volcano shakes and spits out gooey lava] voila!
Plankton: That wouldn't hurt a fly! Fail! [Kevin and Harvey look disappointed] Whatever. Here's your stupid badges. [tosses badges to Kevin and Harvey and moves along]
Kevin and Harvey: [pull badges off their faces and hold them up] Ah!
Plankton: [looking at an anchovy's identical volcano project] Whatever. [tosses badge into volcano and moves on]
Anchovy: Meep? [puts hand into volcano]
Plankton: Eugh. [passes by a girl with another identical volcano]
Girl: Hey! What about--? [badge gets thrown into her mouth, which hangs from her uvula] Oh...
Plankton: If I see one more volcano, I'm gonna blow. [sees Sandy wearing goggles, with her project covered with a cloth] Hmm.
Sandy: [takes off cloth to reveal a pyramid-shaped machine]
Plankton: Well, at least it's not a volcano. What does it do?
Sandy: It makes real volcanoes.
Plankton: Pssh, sure.
Sandy: [puts on goggles, presses button on machine] Yah!
Plankton: [jumps back as the machine grows legs] Whoa!
[The machine's drill drills into the ground, causing an earthquake that makes the campers scream in panic.]
Camper: Whoa!
Plankton: [yelling while losing balance]
[A volcano forms from the ground and erupts. Volcanic rocks destroy Kevin and Harvey's project, land in the anchovy's hands, and enter the girl's mouth.]
Girl: [opens her mouth to reveal the rock with her badge on it]
Sandy: [presses the button on the machine again to make the volcano disappear]
Plankton: Wow. That's like, actual science. I could use [rubs hands together] an assistant in my lab. That squirrel might be able to upgrade my mayhem machine.
Sandy: So, do I get my badge?
Plankton: Oh, not only do you [holds up badge] earn your badge, you also get the chance to earn an extra super special science badge! What do you say?
Sandy: I say, [holding lasso with the shape of an atom] Yee-haw!
[Bubble transition to the Krusty Kanteen, where campers are waiting in line. Sandy is blindfolded.]
Plankton: [jumps up] Buzz off. [pulls rope to close canteen window]
Anchovy: [disappointed] Meep.
[The platform lowers into Plankton's lab.]
Plankton: You can remove your blindfold.
Sandy: [tosses away her blindfold, gasps] Wow! You got a secret lab underneath the canteen?
Plankton: Heh, heh, impressive, righ--what? How did you know we were underneath the canteen?
Sandy: [wafting away the smell of the chum barrels next to them] The smell, mostly.
Plankton: [looks at barrels] Oh. [jumps off] Well, I'd show you around, but you wouldn't understand any of this stuff.
Sandy: [lifts up test tube set, then an individual test tube] Is that a Cranston 3000 chemistry set? [puts set back on shelf]
Plankton: Ahem. Uh, yes, as a matter of fact, uh--
Sandy: [gasps and runs off]
Plankton: Huh?
Sandy: [gesturing to a machine] How'd you wrangle a quantum centrifuge?
Plankton: [standing on top of the machine] Heh, heh, that's a funny story, I--
Sandy: [gasps] A synergistic motherboard? A laser mill! No way! [accidentally hits a button on the machine, which Plankton falls into; runs off]
Plankton: [yells as he is spun around and gets launched onto a tank above, splattered; falls down]
Sandy: [laughing off-screen as blue lasers are activated, hitting Plankton]
Karen: Wow, she really knows her stuff.
Plankton: Bah. She's just an intern. Hey, Mandy, could you get us some coffee?
Sandy: [as Plankton walks in with a cup of coffee] Oh, no, thanks. I'm too young for coffee. [lowering her hand] It stunts your growth.
Plankton: Heh, [sets down cup] that's a bunch of hooey. I've been drinking coffee all my life. [grunts as he reaches for a sip, then sees Sandy working on an equation on the chalkboard] No, no, don't bother with that. It's unsolvable.
Sandy: Uh, yep. Solved.
Plankton: [spits out coffee and falls down] Holy moly. It's so... elegant.
Karen: Wow. You're amazing.
Sandy: [reaches out for a handshake, which Karen reciprocates] Hi, I'm Sandy Cheeks. Who might you be?
Karen: I might be Karen. Thanks for coming. Mr. Plankton sure could use the help. He just can't seem to figure out his mayhem machine.
Plankton: Alright, enough chit-chat. You're here to work. [he and Karen walk off] Follow me.
Sandy: [salutes as she walks with them] I'm at your scientific service.
Plankton: First I need you to use your freakishly long arms [reaches into the toolbox for a screwdriver] to tighten down that grounding plate.
Sandy: [takes screwdriver] You got it. [looking into mayhem machine] Hm. Wait a minute. Is this a test? You can't put a grounding plate there. Well, if someone touched that plate with a screwdriver, it would either shock them or explode!
Karen: It does both!
Plankton: [pointing to Karen] Quiet, you.
Sandy: Huh. [reaching out arm] Can you hand me an 8-inch adjustable crescent wrench?
Karen: Coming right up. [pushes toolbox along the ground, flattening Plankton]
Plankton: [yells]
Karen: [holds out wrench] Here you go, Ms. Cheeks.
Sandy: [taking wrench] Thank you kindly, Karen. And call me Sandy. [uses wrench on mayhem machine]
Plankton: [groans, gets up to reveal his wavy shape] Excuse me. [head comes down, then pulls it back up] That's my invention. [falls down]
Sandy: I see your problem. You got two conflicting power sources here.
Karen: [holds out a power drill]
Sandy: [taking drill] Aw, that's just what I needed. Thanks again, sister. [uses power drill on mayhem machine]
Plankton: [his shape goes back to normal, sighs and grumbles as he walks away] Hold on there, Plankton. You're looking a gift seahorse in the mouth. Let her do all the work.
Sandy: [still working on the machine] I'm just makin' it safe, so we can finish up this here machine. [Karen hands her a lug wrench]
Plankton: [running away] Okay. You go ahead and do that. I've got some research to do. [laughs maniacally as a woman is heard screaming]
[The lab doors open, and Plankton jumps into a chair next to a fireplace.]
Plankton: Now, I can finally finish my evil... [takes out a novel] romance novel. The Kiss of the Axe. [begins reading] Oh, you frisky axe. Where will your choppy lips find purchase this time? [messily drinks chocolate sundae]
[Bubble transition to the same scene, except now Plankton is snoring under the book and the fireplace is unlit.]
Plankton: [book slips from underneath him, wakes up] I, uh, what? Why am I not hearing the sounds of people [gets up] doing my evil work? [lab doors open] Huh?
[Sandy and Karen are pulling a cloth along the mayhem machine, which is now pink with painted flowers.]
Sandy: Mm-hmm!
Plankton: [screams as his body parts exit his body] What did you do to my mayhem machine?
Karen: I think it looks nice.
Plankton: Does it even work anymore? [pressing against machine]
Sandy: Aw, don't get all whopperjawed. I fixed up all your problematic [pats machine] systems. Now, she should work perfectly.
Plankton: [scratching face] Hmm. Well, pink mayhem is still mayhem. [rubbing hands] Let's take this puppy out for a test drive.
[Bubble transition to the General Store at dusk, where some campers reside.]
Plankton: [on top of the mayhem machine Karen is pulling, using megaphone] Attention, you snot-nosed cretins. [the campers gather around them] That's right, gather round.
Campers: [murmuring amongst each other]
Plankton: [megaphone retracts] I need to test my machine, and you get to be my lab rats. I give you, the sonic blaster! [presses the button on the retracted megaphone, which brings out balloons, confetti, a record player, and a speaker]
Campers: [yelling in surprise]
[The record player starts playing country music.]
SpongeBob: Oh! [starts dancing with Elwood, laughs] Yee-haw!
Patrick: [dancing] Wah-hah! [laughing]
Plankton: [repeatedly pressing button in frustration] That's not sonic destruction. That's country music!
Green fish: [riding an anchovy] Woo! Hey, hey!
Plankton: I guess that's kinda evil. [repeatedly pressing button again]
[Everyone is dancing to the music while wearing cowboy hats.]
Plankton: Wait a minute. They're enjoying it. Well, let's see them dance in a blizzard. [presses the button again, which brings out an ice cream machine] What?
Campers: [approaching ice cream machine in excitement]
SpongeBob: Yeah!
Harvey: [uses ice cream machine]
Patrick: [shoving everyone aside] Sorry! I have need! [eats ice cream directly from the dispenser, which gives him a brain freeze, shattering the top of his head; screams] Brain freeze!
Patrick's brain: [shivering]
Plankton: [grunts] What did you do to my freeze ray?
Sandy: This seemed like a more fun way to cool down the camp.
Plankton: Hmm. [presses the button to retract the ice cream machine] My tornado turbulator will make you forget about your little brain freeze. [laughs maniacally, then presses the button again and jumps off]
[The machine brings out several claws.]
Campers: [in fear] Oh!
SpongeBob: [gets grabbed by a claw and screams]
Campers: [yell as they also get grabbed by claws]
Anchovy: Meep!
[The claws turn into roller coaster seats as they spin around.]
Campers: [cheering]
Plankton: Oh, come on! You two ruined my mayhem machine!
Sandy: I told y'all I was makin' it safe.
Plankton: I demand to know what you did with all my evil components.
Sandy: I rounded them all up and put 'em in that box.
[Pan over to the evil components in a box near a dumpster.]
Plankton: Really? Do you have any idea how much hard work I put into this?
Karen: Unsuccessful hard work.
Plankton: Not the point, Karen! Sheesh. I bet you even ruined my last resort doomsday device.
Sandy: A doomsday device?
Plankton: Let's see what lame thing it does now. [lifts a compartment that says "PRESS FOR DOOMSDAY" and presses the button]
[The machine lets the campers go, and brings up a 15-second countdown timer.]
Campers: [scream]
Girl: [cries and runs away]
Sandy: Uh, we didn't touch any doomsday device.
Plankton: You mean it's gonna blow? [jumps over to the countdown timer and holds onto it] Well, at least I'll take this stupid camp with me.
Sandy: I did add an extra safety feature of my own, however.
Plankton: Huh? Say what now?
[The timer reaches zero, and a leg comes out of the machine. It blasts off into the air, taking Plankton with it.]
Plankton: [screaming]
[The machine explodes into fireworks of Sandy and Karen, including one with both of them in a heart labelled "BFFs."]
Campers: [wearing sunglasses on lounge chairs while eating popcorn] Ooh. Ahh.
Karen: [picks up a nut from the ground] Here, Sandy. [puts the nut onto her suit] Consider this your extra super special science badge.
Sandy: Thank you, Karen. I will wear it on my sash with pride. [walks away with Karen while putting an arm around her while they laugh] Oh, Karen.
Plankton: [falling down while holding onto a small piece of metal] Huh? [lets go of the metal, screaming]
Girl: Whoa! [Plankton lands in her mouth, who she spits out into the box]
Plankton: [evil devices and fireworks in the box activate, screams] Ow!
Girl: Ah!
[The camera pans upward to show more of the Sandy and Karen fireworks.]
Plankton: [off-screen] Pain!
[A firework goes off that displays the words "THE END" as the episode fades out.]