MuseBob ModelPants/transcript

This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "MuseBob ModelPants" from season 15, which aired on March 14, 2025.

[Squidward is painting on an easel outside his house.]
Squidward: [humming as he paints himself with flowers surrounding him; winks at his mirror reflection]
Patrick: [off-screen] Tag, you're it!
Squidward: [gets yellow paint all over the painting, growls]
SpongeBob: [off-screen] No, you're it!
SpongeBob and Patrick: [laughing as SpongeBob chases Patrick around Squidward's area]
Squidward: Excuse me, genius at work here.
SpongeBob: [lands on Squidward's painting and falls over]
Squidward: [gasps] My painting? [tosses SpongeBob aside as his painting turns into a drawing of SpongeBob] It's ruined. You turned my beautiful self-portrait into a... a SpongeBlob!
SpongeBob: I think it looks good.
Squidward: [takes the painting] What do you know, plebian? This is going where it belongs, in the trash. [slams the painting into a trash can]
[A garbage truck comes by and uses a crane to pick up the painting.]
Garbage man #1: [smiles, gets out of the truck to take the painting] Whoa, whoa, whoa. What have we here? [the other two garbage men come out] Fellas, check this out. I've never seen such a profoundly beautiful work of art.
Garbage man #2: Ha, it reminds me that in this chaotic world, there is still unabashed beauty.
SpongeBob: See, people love your painting.
Squidward: They're garbage people. Of course they like garbage.
Garbage man #2: For your information, we all got art degrees from Whale University.
[A yacht vehicle comes by and knocks the garbage truck away.]
Peggy: [a carpet rolls down her yacht as she walks down to the painting] Oh, be still my beating heart. Who's responsible for this masterpiece?
[Everyone points at Squidward.]
Peggy: [takes the painting and shoves garbage man #1] I'm Peggy Grouperheim, big time [uses her butt to knock SpongeBob and Patrick away] art dealer. Your painting is a work of sheer genius! I'll buy it. [gives Squidward a tall stack of cash]
Squidward: You recognize my genius? Well, if you like that, you're gonna love my other paintings. [runs off and comes back with some of his paintings]
Peggy: Oh, no, dear. Ew. Those lack the spark of [shows Squidward the SpongeBob painting] this painting.
Squidward: Oh.
Peggy: Clearly, that little urchin is your muse.
SpongeBob: [pulls his nose to make his face flush like a toilet, giggles]
Peggy: Make me more paintings of him, and I'll give you a show in my gallery. Here's my card. [gives Squidward her card and walks away]
SpongeBob: Wow, she actually liked your painting, Squidward.
Patrick: Yeah, what's wrong with her?
Squidward: My own gallery show. [flies away happily into his house, using his foot to close the door] Soon, the whole world will know me for my artistic soul. My genius. [grunts angrily] But I gotta paint SpongeBob. I don't even like being in the same ocean with him. [facepalms, pulling his nose] I can't ask him to pose for me. Wait, I'm a genius. [runs upstairs to paint SpongeBob from memory] I'll just paint him from memory. [his painting turns out to be a self-portrait of himself with SpongeBob's colors] Oh. I've spent so long trying to forget SpongeBob exists, I've forgotten what he looks like. [slumps] There's only one thing to do. Stealth painting.
[Bubble transition to the Krusty Krab, where SpongeBob is making Krabby Patties in the kitchen.]
SpongeBob: [humming while chopping onions] Ya-ta-ta, ta-ta, ta-ta-ta, ta. Whoo!
Squidward: [pops out of the trash can nearby, sets down his easel, and begins painting; he hides everything when SpongeBob looks behind him]
SpongeBob: [bell dings] Huh? Fries are ready! [goes over to the fryer, where the fries have gone bad; sniffs] Ew, those fries are off. I better change this boiling hot oil. [pulls out the drawer of boiling oil and dumps its contents into the trash can]
Squidward: [screams at the same time the work whistle goes off]
SpongeBob: [tosses the drawer] Aw, quittin' time. Off to boating school! [runs off] I'm coming, Mrs. Puff!
Squidward: [his face is now deep fried, which comes off to reveal his infected face, which melts off to reveal his skull] I need a more direct approach.
[Bubble transition at night to SpongeBob sleeping in his bed.]
SpongeBob: [snoring]
Squidward: [comes down on a rope and tries to hit SpongeBob with an easel with yellow paint; he misses as SpongeBob moves in his sleep] Huh? [he misses again as SpongeBob moves again; he tries two more times, and SpongeBob is now sleeping on his back; he hits and misses SpongeBob once more] Ow!
[Squidward is heard still trying to hit SpongeBob with the painting as the sun rises.]
Squidward: [groans with yellow paint all over himself and the room; he rises on the rope]
[Bubble transition to Jellyfish Fields, where some kids are jellyfishing.]
SpongeBob and Patrick: [laughing while jellyfishing; Patrick falls over and SpongeBob bounces on his butt for air; Patrick waves; SpongeBob catches the jellyfish in the air and they both laugh]
Squidward: [behind a rock, holding paintings with yellow paint on them] If fine arts aren't working, maybe martial arts will. [tosses some paintings, which hit three different people; he ducks]
SpongeBob: [laughing as he runs past a kelp bush]
Squidward: [pulls the kelp aside to see, groans, then tosses more paintings]
SpongeBob: [laughs]
[The two paintings hit an elderly couple on a bench, knocking it over.]
SpongeBob: [laughs]
Squidward: [emerges from a trash can, growls; throws three more paintings]
SpongeBob: [laughs]
[The three paintings hit and knock over three kids.]
Kids: [crying]
Father: [confronts Squidward] Hey, that's my kids. [rips part of his shirt off and growls]
Squidward: [walks away backwards] Y-Y-You don't understand. But-but... [yelps as the kids are now near him, which each rip off a part of their shirts and beat him up as SpongeBob and Patrick run past] Time for an even more direct approach. [the father brings him back into the fighting cloud]
[Bubble transition to SpongeBob prancing in downtown Bikini Bottom.]
SpongeBob: La, la, la, la, la, la. La, la, la, la--
Squidward: [holds up a painting with yellow paint in front of SpongeBob] SpongeBob.
SpongeBob: Oh, hello, Squidward-- [Squidward smacks him with the painting several times, then slams him with it]
Squidward: [now with a SpongeBob painting] Gotcha!
Peggy: [takes the painting] Ah, he's done it again. Another beautiful masterpiece. Just keep working with your muse.
Squidward: [nervously salutes Peggy as she leaves] Yes, ma'am.
SpongeBob: I'm... your muse?
Squidward: [picks up SpongeBob] Don't let it get to your head.
SpongeBob: Well, if you wanted me to pose, Squidward, all you had to do was ask. [puts his arm around Squidward's shoulder] I would do anything to help you achieve your artistic dreams.
Squidward: You would?
SpongeBob: Of course! Now, let's get painting! [carries Squidward away] I'm musing! I'm musing! I'm musing! I'm musing!
[Bubble transition to Squidward's upstairs. SpongeBob is standing on a marble pillar.]
Squidward: Stand up there. Now, put one hand on your hip and raise the other in the air.
SpongeBob: [does as Squidward says while giving a thumbs-up] Got it!
Squidward: [begins to paint]
SpongeBob: What do you think about this pose? [is now a stone statue of The Thinker]
Squidward: Just pick a pose and stay still.
SpongeBob: Yoo-hoo! How about this? [spins and does an upside-down pose on his finger] How about this? [spins again and now has a Cupid outfit] How about this? [spins again and is now dressed up as a mermaid] How about this? [turns into a Picasso painting] How about this?
Squidward: I said stay still!
SpongeBob: [spins again to stand in a normal pose]
Squidward: Thank you. [begins painting again]
SpongeBob: [gets in front of Squidward while hanging from the ceiling] You haven't quite captured my quality of mature naivete.
Squidward: [carries SpongeBob and sets him back down] You're supposed to be my muse, not my critic. [squirts glue all over the pillar and sets SpongeBob on it] Now, I can paint.
[Bubble transition to Squidward painting as several of the paintings scroll across the screen.]
Squidward: [laughing] Oh!
[Peggy gives Squidward a bunch of cash, whose eyes turn into dollar signs. A painting wipes across the screen as the scene changes back to Squidward painting.]
Squidward: A-ha! Hm?
[Squidward holds out his tentacle as dollar bills are placed on it. He is then seen painting at night, sweating. He places a painting onto SpongeBob's body, then uses a scraper to scrape the painting. He takes the painting, and it is shown that has made several of these already. He nervously takes a pot of money from Peggy, and is now exhausted while painting. Money rains onto the screen as he is seen rapidly painting with a pile of SpongeBob paintings behind him.]
Squidward: [panting as he rapidly creates new paintings and tosses them into the pile]
SpongeBob: [laughs as he scrolls across the screen; seen laughing behind him as Squidward paints; laughs while operating on top of an assembly line of Squidward's paintings as Squidward paints them]
[Peggy gives Squidward a suitcase full of gold bars. Several SpongeBob heads circle around Squidward painting as they laugh. Peggy uses a hose to spray dollar bills onto the screen. Squidward, now in a pile of cash, is now crazily painting himself as three large SpongeBob heads surround him. Squidward's eye twitches as the screen fades to black and changes to his new and improved house. Several SpongeBob paintings are now on Squidward's walls upstairs.]
Squidward: [now with an exhausted, insane face, groans] Oh, SpongeBob, could you scoot forward?
SpongeBob: [on a green chair] You got it, Squidward! [scoots to the left, which makes a fart-like noise] Oops, that wasn't me. That was the chair. [laughs and jumps]
Squidward: [groans and twitches] SpongeBob, please stay still.
SpongeBob: [scoots across the chair again, making another fart-like sound]
Squidward: [groans insanely]
SpongeBob: [scoots again] Somebody step on a duck? [his head turns into the shape of a duck as he laughs]
Squidward: [groans]
SpongeBob: [laughing as he repeatedly scoots his butt across the chair]
Squidward: [begins sweating as some of the SpongeBob paintings come to life and laugh at him; his easel turns into SpongeBob's mouth and laughs at him; screams] I can't take it anymore! [angrily rips apart a SpongeBob painting and runs away screaming]
SpongeBob: Uh-oh. I guess Squidward didn't find me a-muse-ing. [laughs]
Squidward: [runs away screaming down a hallway of SpongeBob paintings]
SpongeBob paintings: [turn sentient and chase Squidward on their legs, laughing]
Squidward: Huh? [notices an exit guarded by two knight statues] The way out! [gets stopped by the guards raising their axes]
SpongeBob guards: [their heads emerge from the statues] Paint the muse. Paint the muse!
SpongeBob paintings: Yes, Squidward. Paint me! Forever and ever and ever and ever! [all laughing]
Squidward: [takes one of the knights' axes] Oh, I'll paint you. I'll paint you into oblivion! [laughs crazily as he slashes the laughing paintings apart with his ax; smashes several paintings] Here I go, a painting, a painting, a painting! [cut to the outside of his house, where it gets further damaged and cracked as Squidward smashes the paintings] Here I go, a painting, all the ding-dong day!
Peggy: [backs up a truck full of large bags of money] Time to make Squidward rich, and me richer!
[Squidward's house crumbles apart.]
Peggy: Oh, dear. Looks like I pushed another artist too hard. [to someone on her phone] Mark up the prices of his old paintings. [laughs]
[Bubble transition to Squidward painting a self-portrait while in an almost full-body cast.]
Squidward: [groans in pain] Ow. I may have lost all my fame [groans in pain] and money, but at least I enjoy painting again. [groans in pain] Ow.
Garbage man #1: Hey, buddy, you finished with that?
Squidward: Yes.
Garbage man #1: Great! [takes the painting] More garbage. [tosses the painting on top of the garbage truck]
Squidward painting: Typical. [gets sunk into the garbage by a compactor]