Olly Olly Organ Free/transcript

This article is a transcript of the The Patrick Star Show episode "Olly Olly Organ Free/transcript" from season , which aired on .

• [Cut to an exterior shot of the Star house. Inside, Sir Urchin and Snail Fail are on TV. Snail Fail hits Sir Urchin with a lamp.]
• Sir Urchin: [shakes fist] Why, you!
• Snail Fail: What I do?
• [Patrick is on the couch, watching TV.]
• Patrick: [laughs, then his stomach rumbles] Pipe down, tummy. I wanna see how this ends. [stomach rumbles] Oh, man. Come on! [his stomach smacks him] Uh! [stomach rumbles, Patrick shushes it] It's okay. Daddy will get you some food.
• [Patrick hums as he walks into the kitchen and opens up a sarcophagus. A green smell comes out and all the food inside is rotten and old. A hamburger with an old man's face comes out.]
• Old man burger: Close the door, ya idjit! Yer lettin' all the warm, rotten air out!
• Patrick: [shudders, and his stomach rumbles again; he shrugs] I guess the stomach wants what the stomach wants. [smashes the food into a sandwich and eats it, groans] Mmm. That hit the spot. And just in time. My show's starting! [walks away and his stomach rumbles]
• [The sandwich transitions to a screen reading "Patrick's Pet Makeovers."]
• Patrick and Squidina: [voiceover] Patrick's Pet Makeovers!
• [Patrick, in a hairdresser outfit, is brushing Tinkle's brown hair.]
• Patrick: If you've got a toilet, [shakes hairspray] spoil it! [spray paints the hair pink, and Tinkle licks him] Oh, you! [laughs and squishes Tinkle's cheeks, then his stomach starts rumbling] Ohh! Ahh! Ohh! [collapses]
• Squidina: Oh my gosh! Patrick! Where does it hurt? Let me get you an ambulance! [dials phone]
• Patrick: Forget the ambulance! Squidina, this is the perfect "segyoo" to our home wellness segment!
• [He pulls down a slide reading "Well! Well! Well!" with a drawing of Patrick in a nurse's hat, holding a large bandage.]
• Patrick: [voiceover] "Well! Well! Well!"
• [The Patrick drawing pulls the slide off-screen to show Patrick in a hospital gown, sitting on a table. Squidina wears a nurse's hat.]
• Patrick: The next time you have [grabs stomach] tummy troubles, try abominable surgery. [takes out a chainsaw from under the table] Nurse Squidina, if you sneeze. [lays down]
• Squidina: [revs chainsaw] Huh, ah, ah...
• [Squidina brings the chainsaw down. It reflects in Patrick's eyes as he sweats. Squidina saws a log of wood into a small key.]
• Patrick: Thank you! [takes key, and Squidina walks away] All right, folks. [removes clothes, showing a lock on his stomach] Now let's see what all this bellyachin's about, hmm? [unlocks stomach and looks inside] Hello! [echoing]
• [A fist comes out and punches Patrick into the ceiling. He falls on his back. His stomach climbs out.]
• Stomach: You!
• Patrick: Whoa!
• Stomach: What's the big idea, [takes out sandwich] shoving this into me? You may like eatin' trash, but I ain't no dumpster. [slaps him and drops the sandwich on him] Yah. Huh, ah. [jumps off and points at self] And I'm tired of being treated like one! We all are! Come on, organs! [snaps] Heart!
• Heart: [jumps out] Whoo-hoo!
• Stomach: Intestines!
• Intestines: [jumps out and blows a raspberry]
• Stomach: Lungs!
• Lung #1: [lungs jump out together, wheezing] You...
• Lung #2: Called?
• Patrick: My inners are now my outers. Huh. So what? [shrugs] What's the worst that can happen to me without organs? [his skin collapses into a blob]
• Stomach: We don't need that useless bag of skin! [flips open a switch to open the door] There's a whole world out there! Let's go check it out! [marching] ♪ We are organs now we're free! ♪
• Heart, Intestines, and Lungs: ♪ All without a PhD! ♪
• Patrick: Oh, well. At least I still have my brain.
• [Cut to Patrick's brain in a lost and found box in a cell-like room.]
• Brain: Hello!? [echoing] Is anyone gonna come get me?
• [Wind blows and picks up Patrick's body.]
• Patrick: Whoa! Whoa! [gets blown out of the house] Yeah! [laughs] I'm as free as the wind!
• [Patrick uses himself as a flag on Slappy's boat. A bag of marshmallows transitions to him being a tent while Cecil camps outside. Cecil gives him a marshmallow on a stick.]
• Patrick: This is the life!
• [GrandPat runs in, wearing a stuntman uniform.]
• GrandPat: Hot dog! A free parachute!
• [GrandPat parachutes through the skies with Patrick's skin.]
• GrandPat: [laughing]
• Patrick: From here on out, my life is gonna be smooth sailing!
• [Patrick screams as he is sucked into the engine of a passing plane. He gets spit out in pieces on the ground.]
• Patrick: [angry] Gee, I hope my organs are having fun.
• [GrandPat falls on Patrick and laughs. A money bag transitions to the organs driving a car with bags of money in it.]
• Stomach: Man, this is livin'! [car swerves] Too bad I can't see where I'm goin'!
• [He hits Fred with the car.]
• Fred: Ahh! My leg!
• [The car smashes into Bubble Bass's butt. The organs all gasp.]
• Bubble Bass: Oh, quit whining. That's what bumpers are for.
• Stomach: Whoo-hoo! I feel so alive right now! See how much fun we can have without Patrick? What do we do next? What do we do next?
• Heart: Ooh! [points to a club]
• Stomach: Now that's more like it!
• [A disco ball transitions to a weary Patrick flying in through the kitchen window.]
• Patrick: Man, am I glad to be home.
• Bunny: Well, darn it! What happened to that rag?
• [Patrick flops over the sink faucet and groans.]
• Bunny: Oh, there you are!
• [She takes Patrick and ties him around the mop handle.]
• Bunny: All right, you dirty pipes! You've had this coming for a long time!
• [Bunny sticks Patrick down the drain, and his head sticks through the faucet.]
• Patrick: What's happening?
• [Bunny hums as Patrick comes out through the kitchen cabinets. She pulls him out.]
• Bunny: And now it's time to clean the toilets! [laughs]
• Patrick: Maybe life without organs isn't so fun.
• [A toilet flush transitions to Patrick digging through the kitchen, looking for items.]
• Patrick: Nope. Nuh-uh. No. How am I gonna find something to replace my organs?
• [He takes out a blender and shoves it in his head. The blender shakes.]
• Patrick: Oh, this works!
• [He rotates the blender so that the blades work as his mouth. He swallows a microwave and activates it.]
• Patrick: Now I can keep my food warm after I eated it!
• [Patrick swallows items around the kitchen like a vacuum and grows. His shadow is seen on the wall.]
• Patrick: More organs! [eats more]
• [Patrick steps into the living room, his footsteps loud with metal clanging. Cecil holds the TV remote, but the TV is gone.]
• Cecil: Honey, have you seen the TV?
• [He presses a button, then he and Bunny turn to look at Patrick. Patrick's body is misshapen and he groans.]
• Cecil: Oh, oh, ho! Son, have you been working out?
• Bunny: Oh, my handsome man is even handsomer! [pinches his cheek] What's your secret?
• Patrick: Oh, you know. Just replaced my insides with random household items. [accordion sticks out of his arms]
• Bunny: Ooh! [laughs]
• Patrick: Hyep, I think I'm gonna take this new handsome figure out for stroll. See ya later.
• Bunny and Cecil: I want a handsome figure, too!
• [Bunny tries to devour her chair while Cecil shoves the couch into his mouth. Inside the club, airhorns blare as fish and the organs dance.]
• Stomach: Oh, yeah! [laughs]
• [The intestines dance with raver sunglasses on.]
• Stomach: Yeah, move them bowels!
• [A shadow comes over the organs, revealing itself to be a tough man in a mask.]
• Man: Excuse me, folks. You all look like you know how to party. How's about I take you to the VIP lounge, where the real party is?
• Stomach: [grabs the organs] Oh, we're down to party, right, gang?
• Intestines: [farting noise]
• Man: Excellent. Follow me.
• [The man opens a red rope leading to a "VIP lounge."]
• Man: [chuckles] Right this way.
• [The organs walk inside. The lights are off, and only their eyes are visible.]
• Heart: [shivering] Gee, th-this VIP room is so d-dark and c-c-cold.
• [The lights come on and the organs are revealed to be in a deli freezer. Close-ups of the meat are shown.]
• Stomach: Wha-what is this place?
• [The man removes his sweater, revealing a bloodstained apron, and shows his face in the light.]
• Man: [laughs evilly] Welcome to the deli!
• Organs: A butcher!?
• [They try to run away, but smash into the glass wall of the case.]
• Man: There's no escape! [laughs]
• Organs: Patrick!
• [Lightning flashes. Patrick struts down the street as disco music plays. He walks up to a kid drawing with colored pencils.]
• Kid: ♪ La la la la la la la ♪ [pencil breaks] Aw, barnacles!
• Patrick: I got you covered. [sharpens pencil and gives it back]
• Kid: Gee, thanks, handsome mister!
• [A lady gets splashed by a car driving through a puddle.]
• Lady: Uh! Oh, no!
• [Patrick dries her off with a hair dryer in his body.]
• Lady: Wow, I'm all dry! Thank you, sir!
• Anchovy: Now there goes a swell guy!
• [Patrick walks past a crowd, who cheers for him.]
• Buff guy: Genuine beefcake!
• [A paper comes out of Patrick's foot.]
• Patrick: Huh? Hey, I'm getting a foot fax. [takes it] Wha? [reads it] A new sandwich shop just opened! Just in time. All this love and attention sure works up an appletite. [turns into a car and drives to the deli] Yah-hoo-hoo-hoo!
• [In the deli case, the lungs are playing a harmonica. The organs huddle around a fire.]
• Lung #1: We never...
• Lung #2: Should have...
• Lung #1: Left Patrick.
• Heart: [hugs self] Oh, what I wouldn't do to be in his warm embrace again. [shivers]
• Stomach: [sighs] Me too, Heart. Me too.
• Patrick: [enters deli] Lunchtime!
• Stomach: It's Patrick!
• Heart: Has he been working out?
• Stomach: We gotta get his attention!
• Man: What'll it be, sir? Plenty o' meats to peruse.
• [The organs try to get Patrick's attention. The intestines spell out "PAT", the heart waves, and the lungs jump up and down.]
• Stomach: Here! Here, here, here! [all clamoring] Patrick, here! Look at us! Look at us, Patrick!
• Patrick: Hmm. Hmm? Ooh. Oh! It's what I've been looking for this whole time! [potato chips are shown behind the organs] Potato chips!
• Stomach: What!? Ignore us, will ya?
• [He inflates the lungs and pops them, making an explosion that pushes Patrick back. He stands on top of the deli case.]
• Stomach: Organs, assemble!
• [The organs form into a human figure.]
• Patrick: [screams] Meat zombie!
• [Patrick runs out as the organs chase him.]
• Lungs, Stomach, and Heart: Patrick, come back! We're sorry!
• [Patrick trips over a plank and rolls into a junkyard. He lands against a mattress and gets pulled up by a giant crane. He strains, but is unable to pull himself free. The organs catch up to him.]
• Stomach: Organs, disassemble! [they split apart] Don't you recognize us, Patrick? We're your vital organs.
• Heart: We wanna come back!
• Patrick: No way! I like my new body and my new life! Everybody loves me, and you guys sure don't!
• Heart: [sadly] Patrick, look, we need to have a heart-to-heart.
• Stomach: Yeah, you complete us. And admitting that-- [inhales sharply] takes a lot of guts.
• Patrick: [whimpering] I couldn't have said it better myself.
• [Patrick dislodges himself from the items and falls onto his organs, swallowing them up.]
• Patrick: [hugs stomach] There ain't no body like my old body. You know, stomach, I think I learned something today. A wise man once said--
• [A can falls on Patrick's head. He opens his eyes and is crushed by the pile of items.]
• Patrick: [weakly] Now I definitely need new organs.