Super Sitters/transcript

This article is a transcript of the The Patrick Star Show episode "Super Sitters/transcript" from season , which aired on .

• [The episode ends with a shot of the Star house. On the TV, a grayscale image of Mermaid Man and Barnacle boy comes up, then cuts to a "Please Stand By" card.]
• TV announcer: And so ends BBTV's "Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy" ten-day marathon!
• [The room is filled with empty snack containers. SpongeBob and Patrick are on the couch, unmoving and exhausted. The remote slides out of SpongeBob's hand.]
• Patrick: How many times have we watched and rewound this now?
• SpongeBob: [puts on glasses, reads book] Uh, approximately 1,374 and 5 times? [holds up fingers]
• Patrick: [snaps off SpongeBob's finger] Ooh. That's all?
• SpongeBob: Ah, wouldn't it be great to go back in time and experience "Mermaid Man and "Barnacle Boy" when they [Patrick giggles and agrees] were brand-new?
• Patrick: [rubs head with SpongeBob's disembodied finger] Yeah. [forms a rectangular shape in the air] I wish we had a time closet! [sits on the couch]
• [SpongeBob's glasses pop off his eyes and he gets an idea, then jumps behind the couch.]
• SpongeBob: Huh? [runs between the shape] Patrick, you do have a time closet! What are we waiting for?
• Patrick: What are we waiting for? W-waiting...for... [head lights on fire as he strains to think, babbling]
• SpongeBob: Hold that thought! [drags Patrick away]
• [The time closet's door shows up on a street in a green flash. SpongeBob and Patrick walk out, Patrick's head singed.]
• SpongeBob: There. This should be far enough back in time to see Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy's first adventure.
• Patrick: [screams]
• SpongeBob: [scared noise]
• [A giant dinosaur is seen.]
• SpongeBob: [panicked] We went too far back!
• Patrick: [shoves SpongeBob to the ground] I'll save you, SpongeBob! [punches the dinosaur and his hand swells up] Argh! Ow! [hand throbs, he sucks on it]
• SpongeBob: Wow. [the dinosaur is a slide decoration at a nursery] What is this place. [reading signs] "Super Child Daycare, a preschool for future superheroes." Hmm.
• Patrick: [runs in] Superheroes? Heh-heh! Heh-heh!
• [They collapse in a pile in front of a desk. The day care director appears behind it.]
• Director: Hmm. [gasps] Ooh! Oh, thank Neptune you're here! [grabs them and kisses SpongeBob] Thank you. Thank you!
• SpongeBob: Ummm...
• Director: [drops them] I called for you guys days ago! [dramatically] I thought relief would never come. [cheerfully] So the day's agenda [gives them clipboards] is on the clipboard, [points behind him] snacks are in the kitchen, [throws keys on SpongeBobs' head] and here's the keys to the panic room [narrows eyes] just in case. [runs through the exit door] I'll be back in a few.. hours-ish. Ah-ha-ha!
• [Cut to the inside of the nursery. The door opens and SpongeBob and Patrick peek in.]
• SpongeBob and Patrick: [gasps, eyes sparkle] Super babies!
• [A blue crab baby flies in circle. A coral baby picks up a couch and retrieves its pacifier from under it. A rubber band-like baby stretches its limbs to grab food from a shelf and gives it to a small green baby.]
• Go-Woman: Thank you! [speeds off, leaving a fire trail]
• Patrick: SpongeBob! [blinks, eyes grow] Is that...
• SpongeBob: [eyes grow] It is!
• [A baby Man Ray is seen putting together blocks that spell "LUV."]
• Man Ray: Wuv!
• [A baby Dirty Bubble is seen in a crib next to Man Ray.]
• Dirty Bubble: [laughing]
• Patrick: And that over there?
• SpongeBob: It's the Dirty Bubble as a baby bubble! The Dirty Baby Bubble! [to Patrick] Do you think it's possible?
• Patrick: [opens door, gasps] There!
• [A baby Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy jump out of an aquarium.]
• Mermaid Man: Ebol! [babbling]
• [They sit down. SpongeBob and Patrick run up to them.]
• SpongeBob: Patrick, we went back in time to when Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy themselves were new. Not their adventures!
• SpongeBob and Patrick: [pause] This will be the best job ever!
• SpongeBob: [takes out clipboard and checks watch] Hmm. According to this schedule...
• Patrick: It's calisthenics time!
• SpongeBob: Huh, good thing, too. Some of these super babies could sure burn off some energy.
• [Go-Woman runs in a circle around them, creating a fire trail. She runs away and SpongeBob and Patrick fall into a hole, yelling, then crash on the ground.]
• [Bubble transition to SpongeBob, Patrick, and the babies in the backyard. A record player is set up.]
• SpongeBob: [to babies] Everybody ready? [gives thumbs up to Patrick] All right, Patrick.
• Patrick: [sets needle on record] Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh! [dances]
• SpongeBob: [bends legs] Okay, kids, let's touch our toes! Here we go! [touches toes] Down and up! Down and up!
• [Rubber Bandy stretches her arms to reach her toes. The Dirty Bubble spins in circles. The Coral Creep touches his toes and cracks the ground, then falls in a hole. Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy attempt to touch their toes, but struggle and fall over. Patrick continues dancing and shakes his butt.]
• SpongeBob: Alright! [does jumping jacks] Time for jumping jacks! Let's go!
• [Go-Woman does jumping jacks so fast she takes flight. The Dirty Bubble keeps spinning. Rubber Bandy jumps and her arms and legs stretch out. Patrick headbangs to the music when Rubber Bandy's arm slaps him. He ducks and looks around, and her arm nudges the record player, making the music faster. The babies exercise even faster and run around the yard. SpongeBob tries to catch a laughing Exo-Woman with a jellyfishing net. Rubber Bandy lays on the ground panting, with her limbs stretched out. The Coral Creep is doing snow angels in a pile of sand. Man Ray swings Patrick around by the leg and throws him into the sky. Mermaid Man does jumping jacks as Barnacle Boy attempts toe touches and falls over. Mermaid Man points to the record player.]
• Mermaid Man: Ebol! [punches it]
• [The babies all assemble in front of SpongeBob.]
• SpongeBob: [nervously] Heh-heh. [claps] Okay, children, time now for storytime-time.
• [SpongeBob sits in a beanbag chair and the babies lay on mats. Patrick hands out juice boxes.]
• Patrick: [gives juice box to Rubber-Bandy] A juice box for you, [gives one to Exo-Woman] and one for you, and one... [drinks it] For baby Ray.
• Man Ray: Huh? [takes empty juice box and shakes it]
• SpongeBob: Today we have an extra-special storytime, because today our story comes to us from [leans in] the future.
• [The babies gasp. SpongeBob opens his front and pulls out a comic book from a box.]
• SpongeBob: Ohh. [opens seal and sniffs it] Ahh, pulpy. Get ready for [takes out comic book and points to words] "Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy in the Good Guy League versus [leans in] the Bad Guy Society."
• [The babies gasp.]
• SpongeBob: The good guys are [shows art of them] Mermaid Man, Barnacle Boy, Rubber Bandy, and Go Woman. [close-up of his eyes] The bad guys are [shows art of them] Man Ray, the Dirty Bubble, the Coral Creep, and Exo Woman.
• Babies: Wha?
• SpongeBob: [reads comic] "It was midnight in Civil City, and the bad guys "were breaking into the Yummy Tummy Cupcake Factory." [Man Ray holds up dynamite] "A stick of dynamite and..."
• [The wall explodes. The bad guys run inside and enter a warehouse.]
• Man Ray: We've done it! Every cupcake in Civil City is ours!
• Dirty Bubble: Hmm, I don't get it. Shouldn't we be stealing money or jewels?
• Coral Creep: We'd only be stealing money--
• Exo Woman: To buy cupcakes!
• Coral Creep: We're cutting out the middle man! [pauses] Oh, uh, sorry, Middle Man.
• [Zip-pan to a superhero named Middle Man, who groans in disappointment.]
• [The Coral Creep opens up a box of cupcakes. Mermaid Man comes out and punches him.]
• Mermaid Man: Having a midnight snack, eh?
• Man Ray: Come on, guys, let's powder this pastry!
• [The bad guys close in on Mermaid Man. Barnacle Boy comes out of a cupcake box.]
• Man Ray: Barnacle Boy? [Rubber Bandy comes out of a box] Rubber Bandy? [Go-Woman runs in] Go-Woman?
• Barnacle Boy: I think it's time to frost these freaks!
• [The bad guys and the good guys fight each other. A rapid series of attacks occurs: Mermaid Man punches Man ray, Exo-Woman punches Barnacle Boy, Rubber Bandy punches the Coral Creep.]
• SpongeBob: Punch! Bam! Wham! Pow! [close-up of his face] Krang! Crack! [dramatically] And so the Good Guy League beat the Bad Guys [sweetly, showing a picture of the bad guys stuck in an ice cream-shaped prison] and tossed them into a frozen prison in outer space. [puts book down] The end.
• Mermaid Man: Hmm? [points to the "bad guys"] Ebol?
• Dirty Bubble: [babbles and eats SpongeBob's comic book]
• SpongeBob: [takes it out of his mouth] Hey! This was in mint condition! Or at least very good slash fine.
• [The babies start crying.]
• Patrick: [calming them down] Hey, hey, hey. Superheroes and supervillains don't cry. [intensely] They battle!
• [Man Ray points at Barnacle Boy and blasts him into the wall.]
• Barnacle Boy: [groans]
• Patrick: Now you're getting it! [punches fists together] Baby superhero fight!
• SpongeBob: [runs in] No, Patrick! They could get hurt!
• Patrick: SpongeBob, they're super babies! [Exo-Woman jumps off a high shelf and bounces, laughing] They can't get hurt. Wouldn't it be great if they could do an adventure like in the comics? Oh, I know! [takes the soggy comic book from SpongeBob and points to it] They could do this adventure! [splashes it on SpongeBob, who recoils] Ha-ha-ha!
• [Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy, looking unsure, transition to the kitchen door.]
• Patrick: [wearing supervillain outfit] Okay, inside this kitchen are all the cupcakes. The bad babies led by me will break in and steal the snacks. [SpongeBob has a mask and cape] The good babies led by you will try to stop us. [to SpongeBob, quieter] It will be their very first adventure.
• SpongeBob: Ooh! [giggles]
• Coral Creep: Huh? [shoulder bashes the kitchen door down, Patrick and his babies run inside]
• [SpongeBob and his babies strike a pose. The bad guys run out of the kitchen with snacks.]
• SpongeBob: Hold it right there, bad babies! Your infantile crime wave is over! [Man Ray blasts SpongeBob into the wall] Ahh! Oh!
• [Mermaid Man throws water balls at Exo-Woman, who deflects them with her teddy bear. They fly into the wall, destroying a lamp and knocking photos down. Go-Woman runs around and beats Patrick with a baby bottle. Rubber Bandy grabs the Coral Creep and ties them into a yarn ball, then grabs a lamp and swings around, destroying the walls. They knock into the Dirty Bubble and send him bouncing around the room. SpongeBob gets up, but the Dirty Bubble strikes him in the back and makes him fall down. He bounces into Mermaid Man's eyes, burning them.]
• Mermaid Man: [screams, burps out the Dirty Bubble, as both of them look confused] Huh?
• [The Coral Creep untangles Rubber Bandy from his arm. Barnacle Boy jumps over and shoves a bucket on the Coral Creep's head. He struggles to take it off and falls over. Mermaid Man punches Patrick into the air and kicks him backwards. He crashes into SpongeBob, making a hole in the wall.]
• Patrick: [gets up, groans, spits out tooth] This is the greatest thing that's ever happened in the world of great things happening.
• [The director is walking back, humming. He sees explosions and lightning coming out of the day care.]
• Director: [gasps] Great Neptune's navel!
• [The Coral Creep throws a box of toys into the wall. The director walks in and sees the destruction. The Dirty Bubble chases Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy past. Man Ray's laser eyes disintegrate one of the doors. He blows a whistle, and all the babies sit in a line.]
• Director: That's better. Oh, children, what's wrong?
• [The "good" and "bad" babies are now sitting on opposite sides. The Dirty Bubble blows a raspberry and Exo-Woman snaps her claws at the other side. Mermaid Man shakes his fist and Rubber Bandy does an "I'm watching you" gesture.]
• Patrick: Thanks, mister. This was the best lives of our day.
• SpongeBob: Really. [eyes grow sparkly] You just can't imagine what this means to us.
• Director: Well, I know what it means to me. [strains, angry] It means you've completely undone all my hard work [face turns red] trying to teach these kids to get along!
• [The babies are shouting and fighting each other.]
• Patrick: [raises hand] You're welcome.
• [The director kicks them both out of the building.]
• Director: And stay out!
• [SpongeBob and Patrick bounce off the ground and into the open door of the time closet. It shuts and glows green.]
• TV announcer: Later, in the present...
• [SpongeBob and Patrick walk out of Near Mint Comic Books, each holding a stack of comics.]
• SpongeBob: Ahh, just think, Patrick, if it weren't for us the Good Guys and the Bad Guys would've never realized they're supposed to fight each other.
• Mermaid Man: [off-screen] Yeah, that's right!
• [Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy, in their younger versions, drive the Invisible Boatmobile and dismount. Other characters enter one at a time.]
• Barnacle Boy: We...
• Exo-Woman: Would...
• Go-Woman: Have...
• Dirty Bubble: Never...
• Coral Creep: [punches through fence] Fought...
• Rubber Bandy: With...
• Man Ray: [jumps down] Each other! We would've joined a circus or a freak show or something cool like that!
• Barnacle Boy: Instead, thanks to you, we're stuck fighting forever!
• [SpongeBob and Patrick back against the comic book store.]
• SpongeBob: Ehhh...
• Patrick: [nervously] Um... you're welcome?
• SpongeBob: Uh, Patrick? Even though we love "Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy" more than anything in the whole world, I think we should [they scream and throw their comics into the air] run!
• [SpongeBob and Patrick are chased by the good guys and bad guys down the street.]
• TV announcer: And so ends another exciting episode of "The Patrick Star Show!" ["The End!" text appears] The end!