Tattoo Hullabaloo/transcript

This article is a transcript of the The Patrick Star Show episode "Tattoo Hullabaloo/transcript" from season , which aired on .

[The episode opens at Goo Lagoon. It then cuts to GrandPat surfing on a wave.]
GrandPat: Cowabunga! [he is seen riding his scooter on a surfboard] Whoo! Ah! [the wave crashes onto him] Oh! [gets washed up to shore]
Bubble Bass: [his swimsuit is being tugged on by Tinkle] Shoo, you lousy loo! [Tinkle rips off a piece of his swimsuit, making him launch into the sky, screaming]
Patrick: [laughing as he plays in the sand with a shovel; Squidina is seen next to him in the sand with a muscular mermaid sculpture; shovels sand into Squidina's face] Hey, Squidina! [looks behind] Oh, sorry, sir. Have you seen my sister?
Cecil: [using a metal detector, which beeps] Ooh, [tosses equipment away] found something. [pulls out an anchor attached to an entire ship, then looks up] Uh-oh. [the ship crushes him]
Bunny: [lounging on a beach chair next to Cecil] Having fun, dear?
Cecil: [weakly giving a thumbs up from underneath the ship] Yes, honey.
Bunny: Good. [sighs as the sun burns her skin]
[A shark and a fish tattoo on Bunny's body are seen jump-roping a hyena head. The camera pans over to a skeleton and a dragonfly tattoo playing Go Fish.]
Skeleton tattoo: Hmm. Go fish.
[Pan over to a couple holding each other's hands.]
Skip: Oh, Leilani. My love for you burns like 1,000 suns.
Leilani: Actually, that might just be the sun.
Bunny: Yep, it's a scorcher.
Vendor: [off-screen] Cold drinks!
Bunny: Ooh.
Vendor: Get your [holds up a hot dog] hot dogs, [holds a drink] cold drinks, [holds a tattoo gun with his leg] fresh tattoos.
Bunny: Oh. [waving] Yoo-hoo! I'll take one of each.
Skip and Leilani: [panting in the heat, then see a tattoo gun] Huh? [the tattoo gun draws an umbrella above them] Oh! Ah. [Skip pulls down the umbrella and they start kissing]
[The sun begins to set, and the Star family is seen at the bus stop.]
Patrick: [snoring]
[A bus arrives, and the Star family is taken with it. They all sit down, crowding a woman.]
Patrick: [snoring again]
[The other Star family members besides Bunny fall asleep as well.]
Bunny: [nudging the woman] Oh, crowded bus today, eh? [stretches and yawns, falling asleep on the woman]
Woman: Um.
Bunny: [snoring]
Star family: [snoring]
Leilani: [to Skip] Today was really nice.
Skip: Yeah. I wish I could give you something to remember it by. [gasps as he sees a bouquet of flowers tattoo on the woman's leg] Wait here. I'll be back in a jiffy. [runs off to grab the bouquet]
Squidina: [waking up] Ah! Here's our stop! [pulls on a string, making a bell noise as the bus stops]
Skip: [the sudden stop knocks him onto the woman's other leg, making him dizzy as the Star family gets off the bus. He tries to run off the bus] Wait for me! [jumps onto a thug] Whoa! [the bus takes off] Leilani! No!
[The scene changes to the Star house's living room. Cecil is on the couch while Bunny holds a bowl of popcorn.]
Bunny: Oh, it is good to be home. [sits down and begins eating popcorn]
Cecil: [puts his arm on Bunny's shoulder as he turns the TV on] Just in time for our favorite dating show.
TV narrator: [the TV shows a woman looking at three anchovies in front of her] Misery Date.
Woman: Hmm.
Anchovy: Meep.
Woman: [tossing frontmost anchovy behind her] Wah! [the anchovy line moves up] Hmm.
Bunny: Oh, young love.
Leilani: [heard sobbing]
Bunny: Oh, don't cry, dear. [Cecil turns off the TV] Old love is good, too.
Cecil: Wasn't me.
Bunny: [both look down to see the couch is drenched in ink as Squidina enters] Who inked the couch? Squidina.
Squidina: Mom! Come on. That hasn't happened in years. [runs off] Ugh!
Cecil: [looks down, gasps] Honey, look!
Leilani: [seen sobbing ink from Bunny's foot]
Bunny: Oh, dear. What's wrong, Leilani?
Leilani: [sobs] It's Skip, my sailor. I can't find him anywhere, and I've checked all your nooks and crannies.
Bunny: Oh. [looks at her armpit, her butt, and in her shirt] Um, all of them?
Leilani: [weary] Every last one.
Bunny: [grabbing onto Cecil, gasping and lifting her foot]
Leilani: He's [sobbing ink everywhere] Gone!
Bunny: [crying]
[Pan over to the Salty Spitoon. Glass can be heard breaking. Inside, Skip is walking on the thug's body.]
Skip: Where am I? [bumps into a "MOM" heart tattoo, then shakes his head as a lightbulb appears above him] That's perfect! [pulls off the paper from the tattoo] I can write Leilani a message so she knows I'm okay. I just need something to write with. [sees a mole with a hair in it] Oh, that'll do. [pulls off the mole]
Thug: Ow! [slaps the thug behind him] Hey, what's the big idea?
Blue thug: [grunts and turns around] Why don't [pokes other thug] you tell [points to himself] me?
Skip: [writing on the paper] "Please send help. [jumps as a fight goes on] Love, your sailor, Skip." There. [gets up] But how can I send it? [the blue thug punches into the thug's body, and a bottle tattoo can be seen on his arm] Message in a bottle. Perfect! [enters the blue thug's body through a punch and retreives the bottle]
[The thugs continue to fight and shove each other.]
Skip: [bites off the bottle cork and puts the message inside]
[The blue thug gets knocked into a green fish playing pool, which knocks over an old man with the cue stick. The green fish gets disoriented after being hit by an 8-ball.]
Skip: [laying down, also disoriented, then gets up] Huh? [picks the bottle back up]
Green fish: [shoves the blue thug away, growling]
Old man: [standing on the pool table with the cue stick] Roadhouse rumble! [hits the green fish with a stick, creating a fight cloud]
Two fish at a table: [knocking their card table over] Rumble! Rumble!
Harris: After you, old chum.
Blue fish: Please, after you, old buddy.
Harris: [hits the blue fish in the head with a chair]
Blue fish: Do you mind?
Harris: Why, not at all. Be my guest. [the blue fish hits him in the head with the other chair, and both fall onto each other]
Skip: [scared] Oh, it's getting dicey in here. I've got to get this message out quick. [tosses the bottle onto the old man's face]
[The old man gets disoriented after the green fish punches him in the face, and bashes his head into the bouncer who was laughing. The bouncer loses balance and walks backwards as a fish enters the building, and falls onto him. The fish lifts the bouncer off of him, who gets angry.]
Fish: Oh! Hey, uh, [sweating] sorry. Uh-- [his neck gets grabbed by the bouncer]
Bouncer: You will be! [squishes the fish into a ball and kicks him out]
[The fish gets knocked into the mailman just outside, and they both fall over.]
Mailman: [getting up, lending a hand] Are you okay?
Fish: [grabbing the mailman's hand with his own hand that has the bottle] Listen, do not go in there. They play too rough! [runs away] Ah!
Mailman: [shrugs] Eh. [puts mail into the Salty Spitoon's mailbox] How rough can it be?
Thug: [inside mailbox] Hey, how many times I gotta tell ya, [hand extends with the mail] no bills! [punches the mailman away, drops the mail to the ground, and re-enters the mailbox]
Skip: Whew! The message is on its way, [lies down] and I'll be saved in no time.
Purple tattoo monster: [evil laughter as the camera zooms out to reveal him and other evil tattoos] I wouldn't count on it. Get him, boys!
Skip: [screams and runs off, and the evil tattoos chase after him]
[Message in a bottle transition to the Star family's rock mailbox. The mailman places mail into it as Bunny approaches.]
Bunny: Hey, Jim. I'm having a rough day today. Anything good in the mail?
Jim: You're in luck! [pulls out some deadly-looking bills] Nothing but bills.
Bunny: [gasps] Is that a new tattoo?
Jim: Huh? [looks at his hand as the bills drop] That's weird. Where'd this come from?
Bunny: Hmm. [gasps, grabs onto Jim's hand while using a magnifying glass] There's a message in that bottle, and it's addressed to Leilani.
Jim: Huh? [Bunny makes his hand punch her face to transfer the tattoo] Ah! [holds up a mirror to look at the tattoo] They play too rough! [runs away]
Bunny: I always wanted a face tattoo.
Leilani: [grabs the bottle and opens it to read the message inside] "To my beloved Leilani--help! I'm trapped on a biker at the Salty Spitoon." [gasps] He's alive!
Bunny: It's time to SOS--save our sailor!
[Cut back to the Salty Spitoon, where the tattoo monsters are still chasing after Skip.]
Skip: [yelling]
[Skip reaches the thug's bicep, and jumps and turns around to run away again. The monsters get stuck in the barbed wire. Skip jumps from one eyebrow to the other, and the monsters growl at him from the one he jumped off from.]
Skip: [waving finger, laughing]
[The thug furrows his eyebrows, making Skip and the monsters slide down and fall off.]
Skip: [screaming, sliding down a green scaly skeleton tattoo] Whoa! [gets off before the monsters stop behind the skull] Uh-oh.
Monsters: [growling]
Skip: [waving a bone from the skull] Here, boy! [whistling]
Monsters: [panting like dogs]
[Skip throws the bone ahead of him, and the monster tattoos chase after the bone. Skip runs away again.]
Skip: [hops onto an eyeball with wings] Yah! [the eyeball takes off, leaving a trail of flames] Whoa!
[The monsters chase after Skip again, and the flames set the thug's body on fire. Everyone is punching each other as the green fish tries to put out the fire.]
Brown fish: Hey!
Nerd fish: [uses fire extinguisher to put out the fire]
Brown fish: [pointing] If youse wanna keep fighting, you're going to have to get rid of that sailor tattoo.
Green fish: All right. [walking away] I'll get him removed.
Brown fish: Sorry about that, guys. Resume the ruckus!
[Everyone continues fighting. The nerd fish pummels the brown fish's head with a fire extinguisher before it cuts to the outside of the Salty Spitoon.]
Green fish: [crying as he exits the building and walks away]
Bunny and Cecil: [running and panting towards the building]
Fish: [screaming as he is tossed in the air and crashes]
Bunny: [opening saloon doors] Oh! Oh, look, Cecil. It's a real roadhouse rumble, [she and Cecil continue walking] just like our honeymoon. I haven't been to one of these in years.
Cecil: [ducks under a throw barrel, then screams as he gets knocked back by a thrown crate]
Brown thug: [repeatedly punching a black-eyed Fred, then screams as Bunny tosses him aside]
Bunny: Excuse me, do you have a sailor tattoo?
Fred: No. [collapses]
Bunny: [picking up Don and Harris] Any of you have a sailor tattoo?
Don and Harris: No. [Bunny lets them go onto Cecil as she runs off]
Bunny: [everyone continues fighting until she yells out] Does anyone have a sailor tattoo?
Steven: [hanging from a chain] Oh, you're talking about Tattoo Terry. [points] Yeah, he just left. Getting his tattoos removed. I guess now he'll just be Terry.
Leilani: [gasps] Oh, no!
Bunny: We gotta get [points] over there before your sailor is gone for good.
Brown fish: [pointing] You two ain't going anywhere 'till you help me [points to himself] clean up this mess.
Cecil: [puts a bucket onto the brown fish's head, points to him] Well, I helped. [he and Bunny leave as the fighting continues]
[Cut to Lazee Tattoo Removal, where the tattoo monsters are laughing rowdily as Skip is being grabbed by the purple monster. Tattoo Terry is on a metal board as the tattoo artist looks at them while holding a drink.]
Tattoo artist: Yup, those are some pretty gnarly tats, but I can zap 'em.
Tattoo Terry: Maybe start with the sailor. Things were fine until he showed up.
Tattoo artist: Just sit [moves a tattoo laser into place] still. The machine will take care of the rest. [leaves]
Tattoo Terry: Huh?
Skip: [the purple monster is about to eat him] Hey! [the laser zaps and disintegrates the monster] Huh. [waving his sailor hat] Over here! Zap me! [whistles as the laser zaps his hat, leaving behind smoke]
Monsters: [look at each other]
Orange monster: [screaming as Skip mounts him, his glass bulb breaks, and gets zapped and disintegrates]
[Two other monsters begin running away. Skip salutes in front of him.]
Shark monster: [whimpering before he gets zapped, screams, and disintegrates]
Eye monster: [muffled screaming]
Skip: [opening up the eye monster's eyelid from the inside] Here, laser, laser! [the eye monster gets zapped]
[The laser continues to zap various tattoos on Tattoo Terry's body as the tattoo artist is a DJ while the music plays.]
Skip: [the eye monster gets zapped, dances] Whoo-hoo! [the orange monster gets zapped] Yeah! [another two monsters are zapped, then his lower body gets zapped] Whoa! [falls down, whimpering as he looks at the laser]
Bunny: [opening the doors] Skip!
Cecil: Honey, I got this. It's time to SO [jumps in front of the laser in slow-motion] S! [gets zapped, screams]
Cecil's mole: [screaming, then falls off]
Cecil: Ooh. I've been meaning to get that mole removed.
Cecil's mole: Huh! [puts on a hat] I've been meaning to have you removed [walks off] for years.
Tattoo Terry: Hey, what are you all--
Bunny: [shushes Terry] We are having a reunion. [points at Leilani] Go to him. [lets Leilani approach Skip]
Leilani: [grabbing onto a passed out Skip] Speak to me! Oh, Skip, [wakes up] why would you leave me like that?
Skip: Well, I wanted to get you [holds up a bouquet of three flowers] these! [the flowers droop]
Leilani: Oh, they're lovely. [Skip puts the flowers onto her leis] It's beautiful.
Skip: I hope you can still love me, even though I'm only half the man I used to be.
Leilani: [giggles] I think we can remedy that.
[Transition back to Goo Lagoon.]
Vendor: [wheeling a food and tattoo truck] Hot dogs, snacks, tattoos.
Bunny: [her shoulder over Cecil] Well, I think that worked out, wouldn't you say?
[Skip's lower body is now a motorcycle.]
Leilani: And how. [giggles, hops onto Skip]
Skip: From now on, just call me Skip the Scooter. [drives into a tattoo sunset labeled "THE END," and laughs as the scene irises out]