User:AW10/transcripts/Ripped Pants (transcript)/errors
- Lines 1 and 2, He is called the French Narrator.
- Line 1, you forgot the "]".
- Line 1, do not use "camera".
- Line 2, it is inhabitants, not inhabiatants.
- Line 5, it should be "doing a Squidward impression", instead of "in deep voice".
- Lines 6, 27, 37, 80, 110, and 120, Please do not use "the camera shows"; instead use "[Insert noun here] appears" or [Insert noun here] [insert other verb if there is one].
- Line 7, since he is still using his Squidward impression, this doesn't need to be stated more than once.
- Line 8, it is pizza boxes, not cartons.
- Line 9, it is wearing, not wearig.
- Line 10, it should be pointed out when there is a change in voice.
- Line 17, "weightlifters" is better than "guys who are lifting weights".
- Lines 19, 22, and 26, it is better to use things like "she screams". instead of giving a word to a sound.
- Lines 20, 27 and 34, please do not use "is heard", unless you need too.
- Lines 20, 34, 45, and 48, you forgot the punctuation.
- Lines 29 and 39, "some" should only be used to describe an indeterminable amount of something that is between "a few" and "many" of those things. (Yes, I am aware that that is a contradictory sentence.)
- Line 34, Please do not use "are seen"/"is seen".
- Line 41 and 116(and to a lesser extent Line 39), it is "is", not "gets". "Gets" should be used when a singular noun obtains something. (example: SpongeBob gets the ball.) It can also be used to replace "understand". (Example: Do you get my joke?)
- Lines 45 and 48, Frisbee is a copyrighted name, so it should be "plastic disc".
- Line 97, It is approaches, not appraches.
- Line 98. "touches herself" can sound inappropriate. I replaced it with "touches her skin".
- Line 99, it is "SpongeBob", not "SponeBob".
- Lines 100, 101, 103-105, 107, 110, 111, and 113, the fish is named "Dexter" and the Whale is named "Frank".
- Line 102, it is just "ground", not "a ground".
- Lines 110 and 114, in English, a "daf" is called a "tambourine".
- Line 114, it is "her", not "his".
- Lines 115 and 116, you should type out all numbers that have one syllable.
- Line 122, It is "Larry", not "larry".