Behind the Scenes: The Voices of SpongeBob & Friends/transcript

• SpongeBob: [jumps out of Gary's shell]
• Mailman: Special delivery for SpongeBob SquarePants.
• SpongeBob: Special delivery? Just for me? You think I'm...special? [hugs the mailman]
• Mailman: Alright, do we have to go through this every time I give you your mail? Sheesh. [leaves]
• SpongeBob: What could it be today, Gary?
• Gary: Meow.
• SpongeBob: [opens package] A videotape? [inserts videotape into VCR. Videotape plays]
• Patchy: Behind the Scenes: The Voices of SpongeBob & Friends.
• Tom Kenny: I'm Tom Kenny, the voice of SpongeBob SquarePants.
• SpongeBob: [struggling to pick up newspaper] Man this is heavy. [drops newspaper and picks it back up in a ball]

• Bill Fagerbakke: I'm Bill Fagerbakke, I am the voice of Patrick Star.
• SpongeBob: [runs into Patrick with ball of newspaper] Oh, pardon me.
• Patrick: Hey, watch where you're going. [screams] Newspaper monster!
• SpongeBob: [throws paper in the air, screaming] Monster!
• Rodger Bumpass: Hi, I'm Rodger Bumpass and I play Squidward J. Tentacles in SpongeBob SquarePants in Bikini Bottom. [does Squidward's laugh]
• SpongeBob & Patrick: [both screaming and running around in circles while paper floats in the air]
• Squidward: Will you two nincompoops kindly quiet down?!
• Clancy Brown: I'm Clancy Brown, I play Mr.Krabs on SpongeBob SquarePants.
• Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, are you okay? You look kinda...different.
• SpongeBob: Well, I'm not exactly what you'd call okay, Mr. Krabs. You see, my...
• Mr. Krabs: [snaps fingers] Aha! You just forgot to put your hat on. [puts hat on SpongeBob's head] Knew I'd figure it out. [walks away]
• Tom Kenny: The most important thing to remember about SpongeBob is that he's hyperactive.
• SpongeBob: [shouting karate yells and running in circles]
• Tom Kenny: Very sweet, very open.
• SpongeBob: I am SpongeBob and this is Patrick. [laughs nervously]
• Tom Kenny: And no malice whatsoever towards anyone.
• Mr. Krabs: Hold on there, SpongeBob. Let me show you your new station. It's kind of a promotion. Sorta.
• SpongeBob:  A promotion? [scene cuts to SpongeBob being lowered in the well by a bucket] Why do I have to go down in the well?
• Mr. Krabs: To collect the money!
• SpongeBob: Thanks for the promotion.
• Bill Fagerbakke: Go back to second grade and think of the best buddy you had when you were seven and that's Patrick.
• SpongeBob: Patrick, this is a wishing well. Just throw in a coin and make a wish.
• Patrick: Okay, magical talking trashcan. [takes out a coin from his pocket] I wish SpongeBob were here to see this. [throws himself and the coin down the well]
• SpongeBob: Patrick.
• Rodger Bumpass: Squidward to me, is an artistic, self-important, curmudgeon.
• SpongeBob: What's the first thing you're gonna wish for?
• Squidward: To be far away from you as possible.
• Rodger Bumpass: He goes from quiet sarcasm with SpongeBob and Patrick, to apoplexy which is one of the things I like about him. He's got a wide range of things that he does.
• Squidward: SpongeBob, why aren't those patties ready?
• SpongeBob/Tom Kenny: You can't rush perfection.
• Squidward/Rodger Bumpass: I'm not rushing perfection. I'm rushing you.
• SpongeBob/Tom Kenny: [laughs] Always the kidder, Squidward.
• Tom Kenny: Always the kidder, Squidward.
• Rodger Bumpass: Again, Tom messed up.
• Tom Kenny: It's always the kidder, Squidward. Not always the kidder eh, Squidward?
• SpongeBob: [laughs] Always the kidder, Squidward.
• Squidward/Rodger Bumpass: Oh, this job stinks! But at least I'm not digging ditches.
• Mr. Krabs/Clancy Brown: [enters the Krusty Krab] Squidward, SpongeBob, I got a new job for ya.
• Clancy Brown: Mr. Krabs is a avaricious crustacean fast food gourmand. Who's main love is the dollar.
• Mr. Krabs/Clancy Brown: You mean suckers throw in money down a hole for fun? That's the greatest scam ever.
• Clancy Brown: Well, the dollar after his daughter...I think...maybe.