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Big Pink Loser/transcript

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Revision as of 23:31, 16 February 2012 by 139.168.125.164 (talk)

Template:BTranscript

  • Narrator: Welcome to Bikini Bottom. Welcome where we found the finest specimens of undersea life. Aha. Well, here not. [Patrick is sleeping and when he wakes up there is a box in his mouth]
  • Patrick: An award? I never got an award before! Eeeee! Look rock, I got an award. [arrow on top of rock breaks] Jellyfish, I got an award. [jellyfish zap him and he jumps up above the surface] Island, I got an awar... [chokes for air and floats back down] I gotta show SpongeBob.
  • SpongeBob: [building a house of cards looking like Gary] Hold still, Gary.
  • Gary: Meow.
  • SpongeBob: Almost done. [Patrick opens door and cards fall on the floor]
  • Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob, guess what? I got an award.
  • SpongeBob: That's great, Patrick. What's it for?
  • Patrick: See for yourself.
  • SpongeBob: For Outstanding Achievement In Achievement: SpongeBob SquarePants?
  • Patrick: SpongeBob SquarePants? That's a funny way to spell my name.
  • SpongeBob: Patrick, I think the award is for me. You must have got it by mistake.
  • Patrick: But, it's shiny.
  • SpongeBob: Yeah, but you know what else is shiny?
  • Patrick: Ice Cream!
  • SpongeBob: Exactly!
  • Patrick: I can find it. Is it in here?
  • SpongeBob: No, don't. That's my... [a bunch of awards pile out of SpongeBob's closet] ...award closet.
  • Patrick: I want an award. [starts to cry]
  • SpongeBob: Aww, Patrick, don't cry.
  • SpongeBob: You'll get an award one day.
  • Patrick: I'm never gonna get an award because I haven't done anything.
  • SpongeBob: But you're Patrick...Star. You can do anything you want.
  • Patrick: That's east for you to say. You're SpongeBob.
  • SpongeBob: Patrick, if you wanna win an award, you have to do something.
  • Patrick: Hmmm...I wanna defeat the giant monkeyman and save the 9th dimension!
  • SpongeBob: Me too! But that sounds a little hard. Why don't we start smaller?
  • Patrick: I wanna defeat the little monkeyman and save the 8th dimension!
  • SpongeBob: Smaller. [shrinks]
  • Patrick: Doctor?
  • SpongeBob: Smaller. [shrinks more]
  • Patrick: Fireman?
  • SpongeBob: [said in the tiny voice] The smallest you can think of. [shrinks even more]
  • Patrick: A job at the Krusty Krab?
  • SpongeBob: [normal voice] Yeah!! I do things at work all the time.
  • Patrick: Then let's go.
  • Patrick: Boy, it sure was nice of Mr Krabs to give me a job.
  • SpongeBob: And at 50 dollars an hour, too. When I started working here, I had to pay Mr Krabs 100 dollars an hour. Hey, Squidward, guess who just got a job?
  • Squidward: Guess who just quit? [puts his hat on Patrick's head]
  • Patrick: Do I get my award yet?
  • SpongeBob: You have to work for it, remember?
  • Patrick: Tartar sauce. [SpongeBob flipping patties]
  • SpongeBob: Pick up order! [Patrick comes and eats the order]
  • Patrick: Do I get my award, now?
  • SpongeBob: No, you have to take the tray to the customer.
  • Patrick: Ok. [tray gets to table but with no food. Patrick burps]
  • SpongeBob: Almost. Try again and this time make sure the food gets to the table. [Patrick arrives with food on tray but then eats it as he sits down]
  • Patrick: Like that?
  • SpongeBob: Nope.
  • Patrick: [spits out food at the customer as he talks] Barnacles!
  • SpongeBob: Let's try something different.
  • SpongeBob: All you have to do is answer the phone.
  • Patrick: Ok, SpongeBob. [phone rings]
  • Guy On Phone: Is this the Krusty Krab?
  • Patrick: No, this is Patrick. [hangs up and starts whistling] [phone rings again]
  • Girl On Phone: Is this the Krusty Krab?
  • Patrick: [annoyed] No! this is Patrick! [hangs up and continues to whistle] [phone rings, yet again]
  • Guy On Phone: Is this the Krusty Krab?
  • Patrick: [irritated] NO!!! THIS IS PATRICK!!! [puts phone down] I'm not a Krusty Krab.
  • SpongeBob: Uhh, Patrick, that's the name of the restaurant.
  • Patrick: Huh? Oh, Fishpaste!
  • SpongeBob: It looks a little dusty around table 3. How about you sweep it out? [hands Patrick a broom]
  • Patrick: What's the point? I can't do anything right.
  • SpongeBob: You'll do fine. [Patrick sweeps with the top instead of the bottom]
  • Customer: Hey pal. You just blow in from Stupidtown?
  • SpongeBob: Keep trying, Patrick.
  • Delivery Guy: I've got a load of awards for SpongeBob SquarePants. [Patrick gets mad and sweeps harder]
  • Patrick: Why can't I do anything right? [bangs the bottom of the broom on the floor making dust rise all over the Krusty Krab's dining area, which makes the nearby customers start coughing]
  • SpongeBob: [pushing Patrick] Kitchen!
  • Patrick: I'm never going to get an award, now.
  • SpongeBob: Don't give up, Patrick. This time I've got something I know you can do. We're gonna open a jar. [gets a jar and opens the lid] Easy. Now you try. First get a jar. [Patrick gets out a pickle] Patrick, that's a pickle.
  • Patrick: Yes.
  • SpongeBob: You need a jar. [picks a spatula] No. [picks his pants] No. [picks up SpongeBob] No. Try...this! [gives Patrick a jar] Now take the lid off the jar. [puts the lid in his mouth] Just relax. Lift your hand. Great! We're almost there. Now put it on the lid. [puts hand on counter] No the lid. [Patrick tries for the lid over and over as SpongeBob keeps telling him "the lid". Few seconds later, Patrick is almost there] Freeze!! [hand is on the side of the jar] Almost there. Now head for the lid. [hand goes lower] Cold. [hand goes higher] Warmer. [hand goes higher] Warmer. [hand goes higher] Warmer. You're hot. You're on fire!!
  • Patrick: Ow, it burns!
  • SpongeBob: Ok, ok. Wait, wait. Do exactly as I do. [takes it off again] Exactly as I do. [takes it off again] Exactly. Exactly. Exactly.
  • Patrick: Exactly as you do. [takes lid off jar] Oh, no, I broke it!
  • SpongeBob: No, no, Patrick, you did it!
  • Patrick: I did? [both cheer as Patrick throws the jar into the floor] Touchdown!
  • SpongeBob: That was great, Patrick! You really got the hang of it.
  • Patrick: Yeah. Remember when I had my up? And I put it on the lid?
  • SpongeBob: Oh, yeah.
  • Patrick: Then I took the lid off and I thought I broke it.
  • SpongeBob: [laughs] Yeah.
  • Patrick: But I didn't. I opened the jar with my hand. And it was all because you showed me how to do it. I'm never gonna forget this.
  • SpongeBob: Patrick, you do exactly what I do and you'll have an award in no time. [night becomes day in SpongeBob's House then clam cock-a-doodle-doo's everyone up] I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm ready. [notices Patrick dressed up like him]
  • Patrick: Good morning, SpongeBob.
  • SpongeBob: Wow. It's amazing how a simple change of clothes can make a guy look...just...like...me.
  • Patrick: Yup. If I'm gonna be an award winner, I've gotta dress like one.
  • SpongeBob: That's creepy...but flattering! I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready... [Patrick copies SpongeBob then SpongeBob stops]
  • SpongeBob: Well, back to the ol' grind.
  • Patrick: Well, back to the ol' grind.
  • SpongeBob: Forget my hat.
  • Patrick: Uhh, me, too.
  • SpongeBob: [SpongeBob mops the floor then puts the mop up. Patrick mops the floor but makes it slippery. SpongeBob comes out with a handful of plates and slips and breaks them all. Patrick follows in SpongeBob's footsteps]
  • SpongeBob & Patrick: Whew! [drops his spatula]
  • SpongeBob: [laughs] Dropped my spatula. [bends down to pick it up]
  • Patrick: Uhh, me, too. [drops spatula then picks it up. Patrick copies SpongeBob's every move including putting his hand on the grill. Patrick's hand burns after a few seconds]
  • SpongeBob: Aha! [shows the fake hand] You're copying me!
  • Patrick: Yes.
  • SpongeBob: Why are you doing that?
  • Patrick: So I can get an award like you.
  • SpongeBob: Well, it's annoying, so stop it!
  • Patrick: Stop it. [both imitate the others facial expressions]
  • SpongeBob: Say, you're good.
  • Patrick: Thanks.
  • SpongeBob & Patrick: Ha! Darn. Mary had a little lamb whose fleece was white as...pickled fish lips!! [both cover their mouth] Sea weavle. Gorgy smorgy.
  • SpongeBob: [voice over] At least I'm safe inside my mind.
  • Patrick: [voice over] At least I'm safe inside my mind.
  • SpongeBob & Patrick: Ahh!
  • SpongeBob: Stop copying me!
  • Patrick: There's no award for that.
  • Squidward: [leaning against a pole and reading] Well, I guess it's safe to go in, now. [puts hat back on and walks in]
  • SpongeBob: Patrick, how long are you going to keep this up?
  • Patrick: Until I have as many awards as you.
  • SpongeBob: We'll see about that!
  • Patrick: No, we won't.
  • SpongeBob: [takes out a jump-rope] I'm the jump-rope champion of Bikini Bottom.
  • Patrick: Me, too. [takes out a jump-rope]
  • SpongeBob: Oh, yeah? I call this one: The Slice N' Dice. [crosses arms and jump-ropes while Patrick tries to imitate but ties himself up with his rope] Ha! Not a scratch on me. [body breaks down into pieces]
  • Patrick: Oh, no you don't! [squeezes the rope on himself breaking his body down into smaller pieces. Then both hit a hammer on their heads]
  • SpongeBob: Not much fun being me, now, huh Patrick?
  • Patrick: Are you kidding? I used to do this way before I started copying you. [Patrick hits himself too hard and stops and gets a headache. SpongeBob runs into Patrick's rock painted as a SpongeBob's house]
  • Patrick: My turn! [runs into the pineapple rock]
  • SpongeBob: [runs into his pineapple] I wish I had the old Patrick back, but he just want to be like me. [comes out of house dressed like Patrick] Hi, I'm Patrick Star. I'm the laziest, pinkest starfish in Bikini Bottom and I wish I were me and not SpongeBob.
  • Patrick: What's so great about being a Big Pink Loser? [SpongeBob's nose pokes out] Exactly. I was never closer to an award then the minute I started copying you.
  • SpongeBob: But, Patrick...
  • Patrick: Patrick's not here!
  • Delivery Guy: Trophy delivery! [shoves a trophy box in SpongeBob's mouth]
  • SpongeBob: Another trophy?
  • Patrick: Oh, great! What's it for this time?
  • SpongeBob: 'For Doing Absolutely Nothing Longer Than Anyone Else'.
  • Patrick! This trophy's for you!
  • Patrick: Yay! [puts trophy on head] Eee!
  • SpongeBob: So, what are you going to do, now?
  • Patrick: I'm gonna go protect my title. [jumps in his rock and falls asleep]
  • Narrator: You thought I was kidding, did you? No, here in Bikini Bottom, success can even be found under a rock.