Accidents Will Happen/transcript: Difference between revisions

Latest revision as of 07:07, 23 July 2025

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-{{EpisodeTr
+{{EpisodeTranscript}}
-|title = Accidents Will Happen
+{{L|''[Transitions to the Krusty Krab, which is surrounded by boats. In his office, Mr. Krabs is checking his money records. He hears shouting from outside.]''}}
-|titlecard = Accidents.png
+{{L|Mr. Krabs|Hmm. Sounds like a mutiny. ''[he goes outside and gasps]'' What the...? ''[The restaurant is filled with customers shouting angrily]'' What in Neptune's knickers is this?! ''[A customer grabs him]''}}
-|season = 8
+{{L|Frank (lifeguard)|Where's the dude in the boat, man? Where's the dude in the boat?!}}
-|episode = 153a
+{{L|Mr. Krabs|Ooooh! You mean Mr. Squidward. ''[he turns and points]'' Well, he's at his post right over the... ''[the wooden boat is empty]'' Where's me cashier?! ''[He looks down at the Frank, who's still holding his arm. He glares at him, and pulls his arm away. Mr. Krabs bursts into the kitchen]'' SpongeBob! Where in Poseidon's pantyhose is that sorry excuse for a cashier?!}}
-|airdate = [[July 18]], [[2011]]
+{{L|SpongeBob|Sorry, excuse for a cash-- Ooh! You mean Squidward.}}
-|seasonname = eight
+{{L|Mr. Krabs|''[sighs]'' Yes. I mean Squidward. Where is he?!}}
-}}
+{{L|SpongeBob|He's in the storage room. Says he's working on something requiring... ''[in a whisper]'' ...complete privacy.}}
+{{L|Mr. Krabs|Ooh. He requires, ''privacy'' does he? ''[the sound of a chain snapping is heard, followed by a loud crash. SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs burst into the storage room]'' What's all the ruckus?! ''[A shelf has partially collapsed, and there are buns scattered in a heap all over the floor. Squidward emerges from the pile, rubbing his head and groaning. Mr. Krabs gasps]'' Oh no! Please, no! This is terrible! ''[bursts into tears]'' Are you hurt?}}
-(''Transitions to the Krusty Krab, which is surrounded by boats. In his office, Mr. Krabs is checking his money records. He hears shouting from outside'')
+{{L|Squidward|Oh, well. Thank you for ask-}}
+{{L|Mr. Krabs|I wasn't talking to you! ''[picks up some of the buns]'' Don't worry, papa's here. ''[bursts into tears again]''}}
-'''Mr. Krabs: '''Hmmm. Sounds like a mutiny. (''he goes outside and gasps'') What the-?! (''The restaurant is filled with customers shouting angrily'') What in Neptune's knickers is this?! (''A customer grabs him'')
+{{L|Squidward|Mr. Krabs? ''[Mr. Krabs continues crying]'' Mr. Krabs! ''[Mr. Krabs cries even louder]'' Mr. Krabs! ''[he stops crying]'' Your shelf collapsed on me and I twisted my ankle! ''[lifts up his tentacle, which is badly twisted]''}}
+{{L|Mr. Krabs|I didn't even know you had ankles.}}
-'''Customer: '''Where's the dude in the boat, man? WHERE'S THE DUDE IN THE BOAT?!
+{{L|Squidward|As if working here wasn't bad enough, now I've been injured on the job.}}
+{{L|Mr. Krabs|Injured? On the job? Oh, no! That would mean...}}
-'''Mr. Krabs: '''Ooooooh! You mean Mr. Squidward. (''he turns and points'') Well, he's at his post right over the- (''the wooden boat is empty'') Where's me cashier?! (''He looks down at the customer, who's still holding his arm. He glares at him, and pulls his arm away. Mr. Krabs bursts into the kitchen'') SPONGEBOB! Where in Poseidon's pattyhole is that sorry excuse for a cashier?
+{{L|SpongeBob|It's all right here, Mr. Krabs. ''[Mr. Krabs turns and looks as SpongeBob moves some boxes aside to reveal a poster with "OWS" written on it]'' The Bikini Bottom OWS Worker Safety Guidelines. Let's see, it says here... Blah. blah, blah, blah, accident... Blah, blah, blah, blah, owner negligence... Blah, blah, blah, blah, substantial fines.}}
+{{L|Mr. Krabs|Substantial fines?! ''[turns back to Squidward, laughing nervously]'' You know, Squidward... uh... I can't really let the OWS hear about this, you know. ''[laughs nervously. Squidward smirks]''}}
-'''SpongeBob: '''"Sorry excuse for a cash-?" Oooooh! You mean Squidward.
+{{L|Squidward|Really? Maybe I should give them a call. ''[picks up a phone]''}}
+{{L|Mr. Krabs|Now, now, Squidward! ''[laughs nervously]'' Let's not be hasty! ''[Squidward puts down the phone]'' I'll take care of your poor little ankle personally. ''[turns around]'' SpongeBob! Squidward needs first aid! ''[SpongeBob looks delighted]''}}
-'''Mr. Krabs: '''(''sighs'') Yes. I mean Squidward. WHERE IS HE?!
+{{L|SpongeBob|First aid? Fear not, injured co-worker, ''[runs over to Squidward, now wearing a hospital hat and jacket and a stethoscope]'' for I am certified.}}
+{{L|Squidward|Oh, no, no, no, don't touch me! ''[SpongeBob grabs Squidward's nose and runs his stethoscope over it]'' SpongeBob, would you mind letting go of my nose?}}
-'''SpongeBob: '''He's in the storage room. Says he's working on something requiring... (''in a whisper'') ...complete privacy.
+{{L|SpongeBob|Oh, sure. ''[lets go of Squidward's nose, and it flies back, hitting Squidward]''}}
+{{L|Squidward|Ow! ''[takes the end of SpongeBob's stethoscope and shouts into the end of it]'' Get away from me! ''[SpongeBob shakes from the yell and hits his eardrums to make it stop]'' Well, this is it! I am reporting you to the OWS!}}
-'''Mr. Krabs: '''Oooooh. He requires ''privacy'', does he? (''the sound of a chain snapping is heard, followed by a loud crash. SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs burst into the storage room'') What's all the ruckus?! (''A shelf has partially collapsed, and there are buns scattered in a heap all over the floor. Squidward emerges from the pile, rubbing his head and groaning. Mr. Krabs gasps'') Oh no! Please, no! This is terrible! (''he bursts into tears'') Are you hurt?
+{{L|Mr. Krabs|''[screams]'' Please don't report me to the OWS! I'll do anything, anything at all ya ask!}}
+{{L|Squidward|Hmm? Anything? ''[cuts to scene where Mr. Krabs lays Squidward down]''}}
-'''Squidward: '''Oh, well. Thank you for ask-
+{{L|Mr. Krabs|Now if you want anything, just ask. ''[laughs nervously then walks away]''}}
+{{L|Squidward|I could sure use a pillow. ''[Mr. Krabs comes back to Squidward with a pillow. He places the pillow on Squidward's back]''}}
-'''Mr. Krabs: '''I wasn't talking to you! (''He picks up some of the buns'') Don't worry, papa's here. (''he bursts into tears again'')
+{{L|Squidward|And one more for my foot.}}
+{{L|Mr. Krabs|Well, sure thing. ''[comes back with another pillow which is placed under Squidward's twisted foot]'' Okay, if that's all, I'll just get back to me--}}
-'''Squidward: '''Mr. Krabs? (''Mr. Krabs continues sobbing'') Mr. Krabs! (''Mr. Krabs sobs even louder'') MR. KRABS! (''he stops sobbing'') Your shelf collapsed on me, and I twisted my ankle. (''He lifts up his tentacle, which is badly twisted'')
+{{L|Squidward|Fluff it.}}
+{{L|Mr. Krabs|''[angered]'' What did you say?}}
-'''Mr. Krabs: '''I didn't even know you had ankles.
+{{L|Squidward|I said, "fluff it."}}
+{{L|Mr. Krabs|''[mocking tone]'' Fluff my pillow, I'll fluff him. ''[angrily fluffs the pillow for Squidward]''}}
-'''Squidward: '''As if working here wasn't bad enough, now I've been injured on the job.
+{{L|Squidward|''[angered]'' What's that?}}
+{{L|Mr. Krabs|Oh, uh, I said, uh, will there be anything else, Mr. Squidward?}}
-'''Mr. Krabs: '''Injured? On the job?! Oh no! That would mean...
+{{L|Squidward|''[relaxes on his pillow]'' No thanks. That should do it.}}
+{{L|Mr. Krabs|Fine. ''[he walks away]''}}
-'''SpongeBob:''' It's all right here, Mr. Krabs. (''Mr. Krabs turns and looks as SpongeBob moves some boxes aside to reveal a poster with "OWS" written on it'') The Bikini Bottom OWS Worker Safety Guidlines. Let's see, it says here...blah blah blah blah, "accident"... blah blah blah blah, "owner negligence"... blah blah blah blah, "substantial fines".
+{{L|Squidward|Oh, Krabsy!}}
+{{L|Mr. Krabs|''[chuckles, irritated tone]'' What can I do for you?}}
-'''Mr. Krabs:''' Substantial fines?! (''he turns back to Squidward, laughing nervously'') You know, Squidward... uh... I can't really let the OWS hear about this, you know. (''laughs nervously. Squidward smirks'')
+{{L|Squidward|Just one more thing. I'm afraid you'll have to take over for me today.}}
+{{L|Mr. Krabs|What!? No!}}
-'''Squidward:''' Really? Well, maybe I should give ''them'' a call. (''picks up a phone'')
+{{L|Squidward|Oh, that's too bad. It looks like my twisted ankle may become a 'permanent injury.'}}
+{{L|Mr. Krabs|''[cringes]'' Well, that would be an even bigger fine. You just sit back down and relax. We don't want you being injured any further. ''[chuckles nervously, then walks away]'' That was close. Well, at least the Krusty Krab isn't very busy today. ''[anchovies meep]'' Of course. ''[cuts to scene where SpongeBob holds a clipboard.]''}}
-'''Mr. Krabs: '''Well now, Squidward! (''laughs nervously'') Let's not be hasty! (''Squidward puts down the phone'') I'll take care of your poor little ankle personally. (''he turns around'') SpongeBob! Squidward needs first aid!
+{{L|SpongeBob|Oh, Mr. Krabs, I have the OWS accident report form to fill out. Let's see, Question 1: Was the accident the result of criminal negligence? ''[Mr. Krabs screams]'' Mr. Krabs, what is criminal negligence?}}
+{{L|Mr. Krabs|''[takes the clipboard from SpongeBob]'' It's what criminals wear to bed. Don't worry about that. We don't need to bother those nice folks over at the OWS. We can do our own investigation.}}
-(''SpongeBob looks delighted'')
+{{L|SpongeBob|Oh, you mean we should find out if you're criminally negligent.}}
+{{L|Mr. Krabs|Well, no, not exactly, what I mean is... ''[leans towards SpongeBob and whispers]'' I think Mr. Squidward is hiding something, and I want you to investigate.}}
-'''SpongeBob: '''First aid? Fear not, injured co-worker, (''he runs over to Squidward, now wearing a hospital hat and jacket and a stethoscope'') for I am certified.
+{{L|SpongeBob|Yes, sir, Mr. Krabs...}}
+{{L|Mr. Krabs|Shhhh. ''[whispering]'' You gotta keep it a secret from Squidward.}}
-'''Squidward: '''Oh, no no no, don't touch me! (''SpongeBob grabs Squidward's nose and runs his stethoscope over it'') SpongeBob, would you mind letting go of my nose?
+{{L|SpongeBob|Can do, Mr. Krabs.}}
+{{L|''[Cuts to scene where SpongeBob tries to figure out the cause of the accident]''}}
-'''SpongeBob:''' Oh, sure. (''he lets go of Squidward's nose, and it flies back, hitting Squidward'')
+{{L|SpongeBob|Hmm? Huh? If I'm gonna get to the bottom of this, I'm gonna need some help. ''[Cuts to scene where Patrick is shown]'' Okay, you stand here... ''[places Patrick next to the shelf, then places a few buns on top]'' Now, pretend you're Squidward and reach for a bun. ''[Patrick does so]'' And I'll simulate the shelf hitting Squidward. ''[slams the shelf into Patrick, who screams and stumbles around, dizzy, before falling over]'' Hmm, we seem to be missing something. Well, we'll have to do it again.}}
+{{L|Patrick|Uhh, do what again? ''[cut to outside of the scene]'' Ow!}}
-'''Squidward: '''Ow! (''he takes the end of SpongeBob's stethoscope and shouts into the end of it'') GET AWAY FROM ME!!!
+{{L|SpongeBob|Darn, one more time.}}
+{{L|Patrick|Ow! ''[cuts to scene where Squidward relaxes on Krusty Krab roof. Mr. Krabs comes to the roof with a tea kit in his hand]''}}
-'''Mr. Krabs''': (screams) Please don't report me to the OWS. I'll do anything. Anything for you.
+{{L|Squidward|Oh, Krabsy, after tea, I think a full tentacle massage would be an order.}}
+{{L|Mr. Krabs|I ain't touching your tentacles with a 10-ft...}}
-'''Squidward''': Hmm? Anything? (cuts to scene where Mr. Krabs lays Squidward down)
+{{L|Squidward|''[on phone]'' Hello, Office Workers Safety Department....''[Mr. Krabs jumps at Squidward ripping the phone out of his hand, then eats it.]''}}
+{{L|Mr. Krabs|''[chuckles nervously]'' I'll go get the massage oil now. ''[runs inside; cut to the storage room]'' Boy, ya got anything?}}
-'''Mr. Krabs''': Now if you need anything, just let me know.
+{{L|SpongeBob|Not yet, Mr. Krabs. ''[Mr. Krabs groans; takes a bucket of fry grease]''}}
+{{L|Squidward|''[clearing throat]'' I'm waiting!}}
-'''Squidward''': I could sure use a pillow.
+{{L|Mr. Krabs|Coming!}}
+{{L|SpongeBob|This just isn't adding up.}}
-'''Mr. Krabs''': Ok.
+{{L|Patrick|''[sits up]'' Pudding?}}
+{{L|SpongeBob|We must be missing something. Patrick, we're gonna need help even more expert than you. ''[cut to inside the Krusty Krab, where Mr. Krabs massages Squidward's tentacles using the fry grease]''}}
-'''Squidward''': And another one for my foot. Fluff it.
+{{L|Steve|Um, hello? Anybody here?}}
+{{L|Mr. Krabs|''[angered, muttering]'' Oh, for the love of peat moss.}}
-'''Mr. Krabs''': (angered) What did you say?
+{{L|Steve|Anybody at all? Huh, maybe they're on their lunch bre-- ''[Mr. Krabs reaches into Steve's pocket, pulling out the money, walks into the kitchen to prepare a Krabby Patty, then comes out to present a Patty covered in fry grease]''}}
+{{L|Steve|Um, aren't you gonna wash your... ''[Mr. Krabs shoves the greasy Krabby Patty into Steve's mouth; Steve groans in pain as he holds his stomach. Mr. Krabs returns to pampering Squidward by continuing to massage his tentacles]''}}
-Squidward: I said, "fluff it."
+{{L|Mr. Krabs|How long do I have to keep this up?}}
+{{L|Squidward|Oh, it's going to be a long, slow recovery. Mm-hmm. Time to pop my back barnacles. ''[Mr. Krabs screams as Squidward's back barnacles are shown and then he cries. The customers mutter in anger]''}}
-'''Mr. Krabs''': (mocking tone) fluff your pillow, I'll fluff your pillow.
+{{L|OWS Manager|Office Workers Safety Department. I'm here to investigate the accident.}}
+{{L|Mr. Krabs|''[gasps]'' Oh, no!}}
-'''Squidward''': (angered) What?
+{{L|Squidward|''[sitting up]'' Oh, yes!}}
+{{L|Mr. Krabs|Squidward, after all I've done for you, you called the OWS?!}}
-'''Mr. Krabs''': Oh nothing.
+{{L|SpongeBob|He didn't call them, Mr. Krabs, we did. I needed help investigating the accident. Right, buddy?}}
+{{L|Patrick|Uh, breakfast, green, Finland.}}
-'''Squidward''': And also, looks like you'll have to take over for me.
+{{L|Squidward|Well I, for one, plan to give him my full cooperation. ''[seen in a wheelchair with casts around his head, his arm, and one of his legs]'' Anything I can do, inspector? ''[smiles at Mr. Krabs, who fumes with anger; cuts to scene where they all investigate the accident]''}}
+{{L|OWS Manager|So, this is where the accident occurred. Can anyone tell me what happened?}}
-'''Mr. Krabs''': Well, at least there's not that much customers anyway. (anchovies meep) Of course. (cuts to seen when Spongebob holds a clipboard)
+{{L|Squidward|I'll be glad to... ''[in despair]'' I mean, I can relive the whole tragic episode, if I must. ''[struggles to get up from the wheelchair]'' ''[flashback begins]'' It was just another day at the Krusty Krab. I was at the register, giving it a nice shining between orders, when something caught my eye; a patty bun with 10 seeds, instead of 11. I wasn't about to stand idly by and allow a customer go without all his guaranteed nutrients and vitamins. "I must replace it with a proper bun!", I said. I dashed into action.}}
+{{L|Squidward|Excuse me, sir.}}
-'''Spongebob''': Mr. Krabs, I finished the OWS report. Question 1: Was the accident the cause of criminal negligence. (Mr. Krabs screams) Mr. Krabs, what is criminal negligence.
+{{L|Steve|What a diligent and charming individual.}}
+{{L|Squidward|That's when I entered the back room to grab a new bun. Just as I was about to reach for one, I heard a slight creak. And that's when the chain snapped... and then, slam! My heroic and brave actions were halted by an unsafe shelf. Disoriented and in pain, I collapsed and lay for nearly six hours crying softly for help. ''[cries and then, flashback ends]'' The worst part, though, is... is that I never got that kind gentleman his new bun. ''[sniffles]''}}
-'''Mr. Krabs''': It's what criminals wear when they go to bed. (whispering) I think Mr. Squidward is hiding something from us, and I want you to figure out what it is.
+{{L|OWS Manager|Hmm, I see. As you know, certain penalties are involved...}}
+{{L|Mr. Krabs|Oh, no...}}
-'''Spongebob''': Can do, Mr. Krabs.
+{{L|OWS Manager|''[types in random numbers while Mr. Krabs cries]'' One... dollar.}}
+{{L|Mr. Krabs|''[gasps, blinking, wild crying, train bell dings]'' No...! Why?! Why, why?! Huh? ''[the scene zooms out to reveal a surveillance camera]'' What's this? Hold on a second. Me video surveillance camera!}}
-'''Mr. Krabs''': Shhhh. (whispering) You gotta keep it a secret from Squidward. (Cuts to scene where Spongebob tries to figure out the cause of the accident)
+{{L|Squidward|''[shocked]'' What?!}}
+{{L|Mr. Krabs|I forgot. I, uh, um, borrowed that from the airport. Now, let's see what really happened here. ''[comes back with the recording tape and the TV from the surveillance. Squidward is seen walking towards the bun shelf, but what he does is sleep on it. The chain immediately breaks and Squidward falls unharmed under the buns. Mr. Krabs gasps, then turns to Squidward furiously]'' You... faker! Not to mention you were sleeping on the job! ''[sighs deeply, forcing Squidward to the ground]''}}
-'''Spongebob''': Hmm? Huh? If I'm gonna solve this problem, I'm gonna need an assistant. (Cuts to scene where Patrick is shown) Ok, when you take a bun, I'm gonna hit you with the shelf. (Patrick shouts) Looks like we'll have to do it again.
+{{L|Squidward|What are you going to do to me?}}
+{{L|Mr. Krabs|''[growls]'' I'm gonna make you pay.}}
-'''Patrick''': Uhh, do what again? Ow!
+{{L|Squidward|Oh, no! ''[cuts to scene where Mr. Krabs gets pampered. Mr. Krabs sighs. Squidward gasps after seeing the barnacles on Mr. Krabs' back. When Squidward starts to pop some of the barnacles on Mr. Krabs back, he screams in disgust and sorrow]''}}
-'''Spongebob''': Ok, one more time.
-'''Patrick''': Ow! (cuts to scene where Squidward relaxes on Krusty Krab roof)
-'''Squidward''': After tea, I'd like a tentacle massage.
-'''Mr. Krabs''': I ain't touching your tentacles with a 10-ft ankling.
-'''Squidward''': (on phone) Hello, I'd like a tentacle massage....(Mr. Krabs chews on phone)
-'''Mr. Krabs''': I'll be right back. How's the solution coming?
-'''Spongebob''': Not happening yet, but we're working on it. (Mr. Krabs sighs)
-'''Squidward''': (clearing throat) I'm waiting!
-'''Mr. Krabs''': Coming!
-'''Bill''': (clearing throat) Anybody there? Hello?
-'''Mr. Krabs''': (angered, muttering) Oh, for the love of peat moss.
-'''Bill''': Uh aren't you gonna wash your......(groaning)
-'''Mr. Krabs''': how long do I need to keep this up?
-'''Squidward''': Oh, it's gonna be a long full recovery. Plus, don't forget about my back barnacles. (Mr. Krabs screams & then cries) (customers mutter in anger)
-'''OWS Manager''': Office Working Society.
-'''Mr. Krabs''': (sighs) Squidward, after all I've done for you, you've called the OWS.
-'''Spongebob''': He didn't call him Mr. Krabs, we did. We wanted to find out what the real problem is. Right Patrick?
-'''Patrick''': Uh, breakfast, green, Finland. (cuts to scene where they all investigate the accident)
-'''OWS Manager''': So, this is where the accident occurred. Would anyone tell me what happened.
-'''Squidward''': I'll be glad to. (in despair) I mean, I can live the whole tragic episode, if I must. It was just another day at the Krusty Krab, when suddenly I saw, a patty bun with 10 seeds instead of 11. May I take that?
-'''Bill''': What a nice and charming individual.
-'''Squidward''': But then, I tripped and feel, and then I cried for help. (crying) Help! Help! But the worst part was that I didn't get that kind gentleman his new bun.
-'''OWS Manager''': Oh, I see. As you know, certain penalties are involved. (types random numbers while Mr. Krabs cries) One... dollar!
-'''Mr. Krabs''': (blinking, gasping) No!! Oh, Why, why, why?! (gasps) Hold on a sec. that's my security surveillance camera.
-'''Squidward''': (shocked) WHAT?!?
-'''Mr. Krabs''': I forgot. I borrowed that from the airport. Now, let's see what really happened. (Squidward is going to the bun shelf, but what he does is sleep on it, soon the chain breaks and Squidward falls unharmed under the buns, Mr. Krabs gasps) You!! Ffffaker. Not to mention that you were sleeping on the job! (sighs deeply, forcing Squidward to the ground)
-'''Squidward''': What are you gonna do?
-'''Mr. Krabs''': I'm gonna make you pay.
-'''Squidward''': Oh, no! (cuts to scene where Krabs gets pampered. Krabs sighs. Squid gasps. When Squidward starts to pop some of the barnacles on Mr. Krabs back he screams in sorrowness)
-[[Category:Episode transcripts]]
-[[Category:2011 transcripts]]