The Big Bad Bubble Bass/transcript

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This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "The Big Bad Bubble Bass" from season 13, which aired on May 6, 2022.

• [The episode starts with a brown book with the letters BBB.]
• Karen: [drops on-screen on a rope] I'm Karen, the blue fairy, and this tale lacks class, for it's the story of... [opens the book] The Big Bad Bubble Bass. [flips a page to a picture of Bubble Bass sleeping. The scene fades to the beginning of the book with Bubble Bass sleeping. His Mermaid Man alarm clock rings to mark the top of the morning hour]
• Alarm clock: Evil! Evil! [Bubble Bass hits it and gets sucked into the couch and then comes out off it]
• Bubble Bass: Hurrapturous day! [zooms to his shelves] Today my collection will be completed! At long last, [holds a flyer of Pigulon] Pigulon, leader of the Swine Force 3 action team will be mine! [tosses some of his clothes] And I know just what to wear. Behold Wolfman Boy, mortal enemy of the Swine Force 3. [tries to put the Wolfman Boy costume on but has difficulties putting it on and then falls over]
• [Bubble transition to Bubble Bass walking to the Toy Barrel, struggling to put on the costume.]
• Karen: Hours later, as the story goes, Bubble Bass arrived, still adjusting his clothes.
• Bubble Bass: [runs to a Pigulon flyer on the entrance but the clerk puts a sold out note on it] Sold out? [the clerk puts a sorry note on it] Sorry? [the clerk puts a "Eh. Not really" note on it] Not really?! Oh, this can't be happening! Without Pigulon, my life is over! [starts crying]
• SpongeBob: [exiting the Toy Barrel store with Patrick] Oh boy, Patrick! I can't believe we got the very last Pigulon!
• Patrick: Yeah! Let's play with him! [takes him out of the bag and bites off the top packaging. He swallows it]
• Bubble Bass: Not Pigulon's precious packaging! There goes half his value!
• Patrick: Hm. [scratches his butt with Pigulon and laughs] It's a good scratcher! [cut to Bubble Bass face palming his face]
• Bubble Bass: There goes the other half. This cannot stand! I must liberate Pigulon from the clutches of those buffoons. [marches angrily towards them and moves SpongeBob aside] Pardon me, good sirs. I couldn't help but notice your Pigulon action figure. Might I buy, trade, or swindle it from you?
• SpongeBob: [Patrick hands him it] Oh, he's all yours, Bubble Bass. Anything for a friend.
• [Bubble Bass squeals and tries to take it, but Patrick takes it back.]
• Patrick: Hey, wait! I wanna play with the pig man! He's mine too!
• SpongeBob: Oh, sorry, I forgot! Patrick and I both chipped in to buy Pigulon. Well, see ya later! [they are seen throwing and catching Pigulon]
• Bubble Bass: [rainclouds around him] By the gods of Nerddom, I will acquire that Pigulon, no matter what!
• Karen: [rainclouds flick away] So Bubble Bass plotted, his courage he found, as he ranted and raved with no one around!
• Bubble Bass: [pushes Karen] Be gone, vile machine! I have a toy to rescue! [bubble wipe to the next scene with Bubble Bass ringing SpongeBob's doorbell]
• SpongeBob: [opens the door] Oh, hello, mysterious stranger! How may I help you? [Gets hit in the mouth with a wallet]
• Bubble Bass: The toy inspector. I'll have to take any dangerous toys found on your premises back to the station for questioning.
• SpongeBob: Dangerous toys? [gasps until his hands goes inside his mouth] You gotta come in right away!
• Bubble Bass: Yes, now where do you keep your meager allotment of playthings?
• SpongeBob: Oh, over here in the vault.
• Bubble Bass: The vault?
• SpongeBob: [enters a passcode, puts his tongue on the scanner, security takes one of his eyelashes, and he plays the ending to the theme song with his nose. The vault opens, and provides mini stairs. Bubble Bass peeks inside then SpongeBob pushes him. He and Patrick enter it] Let's start, shall we? We've got a lot of toys to get through. Luckily, I've alphabetized them. This is Aaron Aardvark. Is he dangerous?
• Bubble Bass: [touches one of its ears with his thumb] Ow! [tosses it] Uh, no. [sucks his thumb]
• Patrick: This is Abby Aardvark. Is she dangerous?
• Bubble Bass: [stares at the figure and its head launches at him] Ouch! [tosses it] No.
• SpongeBob: This is Albert Aardvark. Is he dangerous?
• Bubble Bass: No. It's fine. [tosses it away from SpongeBob's hand. It explodes]
• French Narrator: Many, many toys later...
• SpongeBob: And on to the P's. Porktastic Pigulon. Is he dangerous?
• Bubble Bass: Ooh! Yes, he's very dang-
• SpongeBob: Oops, I went out of order. This is Perilous Perciful. Is he dangerous? [hands it to him]
• Bubble Bass: Uh... [the action figure launches him out of the house and explodes into fireworks]
• SpongeBob and Patrick: Ooh! [bubble wipe to the next scene with Bubble Bass ringing SpongeBob's doorbell. They answer the door]
• Bubble Bass: Yes, hello. I'm a world famous ghost hunter, and I've detected a massive haunting within your domicile. I'll have to scan your home to pinpoint possessed item. Mhm! Lots of ghost activity.
• SpongeBob: There is?
• Bubble Bass: Yes. [imitating the scanner] Beep, beep, beep. [gasps, then SpongeBob and Patrick gasp. He beeps multiple times until he reaches the Pigulon action figure] This is it! This item contains a malevolent spirit!
• SpongeBob and Patrick: Oh no, not Pigulon!
• Bubble Bass: I'll have to take him back to the lab for spectral containment.
• Patrick: [chuckles] No need.
• SpongeBob: Yeah, we'll banish that ghost for ya right here! [they chant a phrase which rises the figure and a demon comes out of it. Bubble Bass drops his jaw to the ground]
• Pigulon demon: Who dares bother me from my sleep?
• Patrick: [points to Bubble Bass] He started it. [the demon roars and grabs Bubble Bass. Pigulon falls]
• SpongeBob: [catches Pigulon] Yay! Pigulon is saved! [bubble wipe to the next scene]
• Bubble Bass: [walking to SpongeBob's house with ectoplasm all over him. He wipes it off and bangs on the door] ScumBob! Puketrick! You blithering fools better hand over Pigulon, or I'll chug, and I'll glug, and I'll belch your house down! [growls]
• Patrick: [as Pigulon, through SpongeBob's house] Nobody's home!
• Bubble Bass: Hm? [growls while steams mad, then takes out a bottle of Fizz Bomb Cola] Time for some Fizz Bomb burp fuel. [drinks it, and his stomach boils. He inhales deeply, making chest balloon upwards then burps down SpongeBob's house. Gary falls on SpongeBob, and they run to Patrick's rock]
• Bubble Bass: I said hand over Pigulon, or I'll chug, and I'll glug, and I'll belch your house down... again!
• Patrick: [his lips are through the rock] Good luck. I built this rock entirely out of rock. [blows a raspberry]
• Bubble Bass: [growls, then pulls out another bottle of Fizz Bomb Cola and a bottle of hot sauce] Let's turn up the heat. [drinks both, and his stomach boils. He burps down Patrick's rock]
• Patrick: They just don't make rocks the way they used to. [they run to Squidward's house. They bang on his door constantly saying his name]
• Squidward: Not interested. [SpongeBob steps on his head and goes up the house's nose. Patrick does the same. They crash downstairs] Hey, what part of "not interested" don't you understand? [Bubble Bass taps him, then pushes him out of the way]
• Bubble Bass: Pardon me Squidward, I'm going to need that Pigulon doll within your residence.
• Squidward: [growls in frustration] I said not interested! [slaps him outside]
• Bubble Bass: Then I'll chug, and I'll glug, and I'll belch your house down too! [signals a Fizz Bomb Cola truck to come his way. He grabs the hose and chugs the entire truck down. He tries to burp down Squidward's house but nothing happens] Huh? [burps to his house again but nothing happens] Huh? [burps again] I don't understand! Those burps should've rendered his home into stinky vapors!
• Squidward: Sorry, Bubble Bass. I just had my house SpongeBob-proofed. [laughs. SpongeBob laughs along with. Squidward stops. Bubble Bass steams]
• Karen: With his belching now foiled, he had but one plan. Run home to his mommy, and cry like a big man. He wept like a fountain and lied to the ma'am: "Those boys were the bullies," and he her sweet lamb. Her mother was livid: She screamed and she spat. "No villain should take his son's toy like that!"
• [The scene fades into the neighborhood with Bubble Bass crying, while his mother drives him.]
• Mama Bass: I am so disappointed. You should be belching at a 10th grade level by now! Let mama show you how it's done.
• Bubble Bass: [hands her a bottle of Fizz Bomb Cola] Here, mother. [his mom smacks it away]
• Mama Bass: Oh, I don't need that stuff! [inhales deeply, causing her body to balloon up massively and belches down Squidward's house so hard to the point where the Bikini Atoll ocean is wiped out. She walks to SpongeBob and Patrick] You boys had better give Bubble Bass his toy back!
• Patrick: B-But it's our toy...
• SpongeBob: I have the receipt! [she takes it and reads it]
• Mama Bass: Bubble Bass!
• Bubble Bass: M-M-Mama, t-t-t-that receipt must be a forgery! [she inhales deeply] No, mama, please! I was just trying to- [she burps on him. Bubble Bass is shown in his underwear, and he shrieks and covers himself as his mom walks away. He starts crying]
• SpongeBob: Hey, hey, don't cry. We have something that might cheer you up.
• Bubble Bass: You do?
• SpongeBob: Patrick and I want you to have Pigulon.
• Bubble Bass: [yelps happily] Oh, joy! Gimme, gimme, gimme!
• Patrick: Ha, here you go! [it is completely destroyed] I know you'll love him. We sure had fun playing with him.
• Bubble Bass: [cries like a waterfall]
• Karen: Well, Bubble Bass won, so he told himself, as he ran home to put his new toy on the shelf. Squidward was forced to rebuild alone. His insurance won't cover belch damage to home. [Squidward growls]
• Squidward: Hey! Your fairy tale did this! Get outta here!
• Karen: Gah! Farewell, until next story time! [she files into the book which closes on her. The book ascends]
• Squidward: Hm? [looks at the camera as the iris closes on him]