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{{EpisodeTranscript}}
|prev = Love That Squid
{{L|SpongeBob|''[snoring with Gary. They both wake up because they hear a noise from outside and look through the window to find Patrick mopping his house.]''}}
|title = Big Sister Sam
{{L|Patrick|♪Makin' it clean, and livin' a dream. Makin' a scene, I'm makin' it clean, I'm makin' it clean. I'm makin' it clean!♪}}
|next = Perfect Chemistry
{{L|SpongeBob|Hey, buddy, what are you cleaning for?}}
|titlecard = Big Sister Sam.jpg
{{L|Patrick|‘Cause I'm expecting some very important company.}}
|season = 7
{{L|SpongeBob|Who's that?}}
|episode = 152a
{{L|Patrick|My big sister, Sam!}}
|airdate = [[January 15]], [[2011]]
{{L|SpongeBob|Wow, I didn't know you had a sister!}}
|seasonname = seven
{{L|Patrick|''[the music stops abruptly as he drops the mop and starts to look sad.]'' Nobody does. ''[gets choked up]'' I lost her in the surf when we were kids.}}
}}
{{L|SpongeBob|Gee, I'm sorry, Patrick.}}
SpongeBob: (snoring with Gary)
{{L|Patrick|Sam took care of me when I was just nursing on coral. She was my... ''[sniffles]'' my... ''[sniffles]'' my... rock! ''[bursts into tears, sobbing in despair.]''}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|It's gonna be okay... you're gonna see her again... today... right... today? Come on... cheer up, buddy. Hey, I'll make sure her visit here will be extra super special, no matter what!}}
Patrick: (singing) Makin' it clean, and livin' a dream. Makin' a scene, I'm makin' it clean, I'm makin' it clean. I'm makin' it clean!
{{L|Patrick|Thanks, man, you're right. I can't wait to make up for our lost years!}}
 
{{L|Squidward|''[opens the window]'' Would you two pipe down?!}}
SpongeBob: Hey buddy, what are you cleaning for?
{{L|Patrick|Sorry, I was getting my place ready for my sister.}}
 
{{L|Squidward|Well, I hope she's not as obnoxious as you. ''[the bus rides up]''}}
Patrick: Cause I'm expecting some very important company.
{{L|Sam|''[punches the door open and walks towards Patrick thunderously]''}}
 
{{L|Squidward|''[closes the window fast]''}}
SpongeBob: Who's that?
{{L|''[Sam walks towards Patrick and SpongeBob. She is revealed to be large, incredibly muscular starfish, with large temper.]''}}
 
{{L|Patrick|...Sam!}}
Patrick: My big sister, Sam!
{{L|Sam|''[grabs Patrick by the neck and breathes in his face]'' Brubber!}}
 
{{L|Patrick|Sis!}}
SpongeBob: Wow, I didn't know you had a sister!
{{L|Sam|''[starts hugging Patrick very tightly]''}}
 
{{L|Patrick|It's so good to see you.}}
Patrick: (crying) Nobody does. I lost her in the surf when we were kids.
{{L|Sam|You. Sister Sam. Have much catch up to do. ''[accidentally catapults Patrick into his rock]''}}
 
{{L|Patrick|Wow, you pack a wallop, sis. Sam, this is my best friend, SpongeBob.}}
SpongeBob: Gee, I'm sorry Patrick.
{{L|SpongeBob|Yeah, Patrick and I go back a long way. ''[both giggling]'' Yeah, long way, heh heh, go back.}}
 
{{L|Sam|''[eyes bug out]'' Yellow square touch brubber! Make sister Sam mad! ''[chucks SpongeBob]''}}
Patrick: Sam took care of me when I was just nursing on coral. She was my... my... my... rock!
{{L|Patrick|I cleaned my rock just for you. ''[both walk away]''}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|''[plummets and falls face-flat on the ground]''}}
SpongeBob: It's gonna be ok... you're gonna see her again... today... right... today? Come on... cheer up buddy. Hey, I'll make sure her visit here will be extra super special, no matter what!
{{L|Patrick|Hey, let's go inside and play.}}
 
{{L|Sam|House too small. Make bigger. ''[pushes the rock]''}}
Patrick: Thanks man, you're right. I can't wait to make up for our lost years.
{{L|Patrick|Hey, great idea! I'll just go and get some tools and-}}
 
{{L|Sam|No.}}
Squidward: Would you two pipe down!
{{L|Patrick|Huh?}}
 
{{L|Sam|I have all tools here. ''[takes out a sand briefcase and pours out a bunch of sand, then starts making a sand rock]''}}
Patrick: Sorry, I was getting my place ready for my sister.
{{L|Squidward|Oh, dear Neptune. Didn't you hear me- ''[face is pummeled with sand]''}}
 
{{L|Sam|''[walks over the sand rock and takes the TV antenna off of Patrick's rock, then puts the antenna on the sand rock]''}}
Squidward: Well, I hope she's not as obnoxious as you.(Bus rides up)
{{L|Patrick|Thanks, sis!}}
 
{{L|Sam|Sister Sam loves to make rock for brubber.}}
Sam: (punches door open and walks towards Patrick)
{{L|Squidward|Well, make rock some where else. My house is full of sand.}}
 
{{L|Sam|If big nose no like sand, big nose move! ''[pushes Squidward's house away]''}}
Squidward: (closes window fast)
{{L|Squidward|This is way beyond my property line. Hey, Patrick, that oaf makes a better bulldozer than a sister! ''[laughs]'' Construction humor.}}
 
{{L|Sam|''[growls]'' No laughing!}}
Patrick: ...Sam!
{{L|SpongeBob|No, no, don't be upset with Squidward. He doesn't mean it, don't you, Squidward?}}
 
{{L|Squidward|Oh, I mean it, alright. She's a big buffoon, like Patrick. Except bigger, and dumber, and bufoonier.}}
Sam: (Grabs Patrick by the neck and breathes in his face) Brubber!
{{L|Sam|''[huffing]''}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|''[scared]'' Oh, Squidward, you jokester.}}
Patrick: Sis!
{{L|Sam|''[more huffing]''}}
 
{{L|Squidward|Do you think she looks a little... miffed?}}
Sam: (starts hugging Patrick)
{{L|Sam|''[huffing angrily, then starts crying]'' Those boys mean! They pick on sister Sam!}}
 
{{L|Patrick|Shame on you two! Look what you've done!}}
Patrick: It's so good to see you.
{{L|Squidward|Look what ''we've'' done?!}}
 
{{L|Sam|''[crying so hard that her tears fling Squidward and SpongeBob]''}}
Sam: You. Sister Sam have much get done to do.(catapults Patrick into his rock)
{{L|Squidward|''[falls face first in the sand]''}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|''[flies onto a seahorse-shoe toss pole]''}}
Patrick: Wow, you pack a wallop, sis. Sam, this is my best friend SpongeBob.
{{L|Tuck|Golly-doo-diddley, Clem, that was a nice toss.}}
 
{{L|Clem|Weren't me, Tuck. My money's on the little missy over yonder.}}
SpongeBob: Yeah, Patrick and I go back a long way.(Both mumbling) Yeah long way, heh heh, go back.
{{L|Patrick|Awwww, hey, sis, don't listen to those... meanies. Hey, the new rock is looking kinda... boring. What do you say we decorate it?}}
 
{{L|Sam|''[sniffles and smiles]'' Blecorate?}}
Sam: (eyes bug out) Yellow square touch brubber! Make sister Sam mad!(chucks SpongeBob)
{{L|Patrick|You can call it whatever you like, sis, just as long as we make it spiffy!}}
 
{{L|Squidward|''[empties sand out of head]''}}
Patrick: I cleaned my rock just for you. (Both walk away)
{{L|Sam|Make new house spiffy. ''[takes window off of Squidward's house]'' Spiffy!}}
 
{{L|Squidward|Hey, you can't do that, that's my window!}}
SpongeBob: (Plummets and falls face-flat on the ground)
{{L|Sam|''[puts the window on the antenna on the sand rock and laughs]'' Blecorate.}}
 
{{L|Patrick|That's the spirit, Sis.}}
Patrick: Lets go inside and play.
{{L|Squidward|Oh no. That is definitely ''not'' the spirit, Patrick. Your sister is out of control!}}
 
{{L|Patrick|Hey, ya just mind your own business and let us blecorate in peace!}}
Sam: House too small. Make bigger. (pushes rock)
{{L|Squidward|You can blecor-decorate until the sea cows come home for all I care, just do not use my property to do it! ''[takes off the antennae-window and stammers as he stops to look at something in shock]''}}
 
{{L|Sam|''[dismantles more part from Squidward's house and puts it on the sand rock]'' More spiffy!}}
Patrick: Hey great idea! I'll just go and get some tools and-
{{L|Squidward|But that's from... ''[looks at his somewhat horribly dismantled house]'' My house! That's it! I have had my fill of this thieving brute!}}
 
{{L|Patrick|Well, how dare you call my sister a thief, just- just 'cause she took some of your things...}}
Sam: No.
{{L|SpongeBob|Easy now, gents, let's not let tempers flare. Now don't you think, Patrick, that it's a teensie bit unfair that sister Sam dismantled Squidward's house?}}
 
{{L|Patrick|No, I don't. Not even a teensie, eensie, teensie bit. I see now that not only have you turned against my sister, you've turned on your best friend as well! ''[cries]''}}
Patrick: Huh?
{{L|SpongeBob|It's not like that at all, Patrick. I was just-}}
 
{{L|Sam|Shush! Meanies make brubber's eyes water! ''[grabs SpongeBob and Squidward]'' Meanies go home! ''[headbutts them to their homes]''}}
Sam: I have tools right here. (takes out briefcase and pours out sand. Starts making a sand rock)
{{L|Patrick|Come on, sis. They can't bother us under our rock.}}
 
{{L|Sam|Meanies is mean. ''[the sand rock closes]''}}
Squidward: Oh dear Neptune didn't you hear me-(face is pummeled with sand)
{{L|Squidward|''[walks out of his ruined house, gets angry and starts carrying a heavy rock]''}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|Squidward... wait, Squidward, w-wait! Before you do anything too rash, let me try to talk to them.}}
Sam: (Walks over sand rock and takes the tv antenna off of Patrick's rock. Puts antenna on sand rock)
{{L|Squidward|The time for talk is over! Now is the time for action! ''[walks onto the sand rock and holds his rock menacingly over his head]'' A rock made of sand by two idiots is no match for one carved from the... ''[grunts]'' tides of time!}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|I don't think you should do that.}}
Patrick: Thanks sis!
{{L|Squidward|Who cares what you think?! If it's destruction they want, it's destruction they'll get! ''[throws the rock, but it bounces off and demolishes the pieces of Squidward's house on the sand rock. The sand rock opens, flinging Squidward in the air]''}}
 
{{L|Sam|Who makes noise? ''[sees the broken pieces, screams]'' Spiffy broken! ''[Squidward falls]'' Sister mad!}}
Sam: Sister Sam loves to make rock for brubber.
{{L|SpongeBob|Now, Sam, it's not what it seems. Squidward was just rearranging the spiffy.}}
 
{{L|Sam|''[picks up the broken pieces]'' Sister Sam rearrange now!}}
Squidward: Well make rock some where else. My house is full of sand.
{{L|SpongeBob|Please don't.}}
 
{{L|Sam|''[swallows the broken pieces and rapidly spits it out at Squidward's house. Squidward's house then collapses as Squidward looks at it in disbelief]''}}
Sam: If big nose no like sand, big nose move! (pushes Squidward's house)
{{L|SpongeBob|Well, Squidward, at least on the bright side it will motivate you to finally take care of that kitchen remodel. Right, Squidward? ''[Squidward is gone]'' Huh? Must be getting started.}}
 
{{L|[Seeing the destruction of his house, Squidward finally explodes in rage and drives a bulldozer toward the sand rock so he can destroy Sam, laughing maniacally]''}}
Squidward: This is way beyond my property line. Hey Patrick, that oaf makes a better bulldozer than a sister! (laughs) Construction humor.
{{L|Patrick and Sam|''[shocked]'' Huh?!}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|''[gasps]'' Squidward, Squidward, stop! ''[jumps on the bulldozer]'' Just calm down, buddy. Let's ease that tentacle off of the accelerator, hmmm?}}
Sam: No laughing.
{{L|Squidward|Oh, you mean like this? ''[revs up accelerator, knocking SpongeBob off]'' Sweeeet destruction!}}
 
{{L|Sam|''[stops the bulldozer. drops Squidward out of the bulldozer and chucks it at SpongeBob's house, destroying it]'' That'll teach those meanies.}}  
SpongeBob: No no don't be upset with Squidward he doesn't mean it. Don't you Squidward?
{{L|Patrick|You're still my rock, big sis.}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|''[upset]'' Patrick, I think your sister's temper is getting out of control.}}
Squidward: Oh I mean it alright. She's a big buffoon, just like Patrick. Except bigger, and dumber, and bafoonier.
{{L|Patrick|''[annoyed]'' SpongeBob, why are you still saying mean things about Sam?!}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|''[still upset]'' She destroyed my house in a fit of rage! She needs to control her temper!}}
Sam: (huffing)
{{L|Patrick|''[realizes]'' Well, I guess she can get a little carried away.}}
 
{{L|Sam|''[angry and confused]'' What Patrick doing? Why Patrick talk to meanies?}}
SpongeBob: (scared) Oh Squidward you jokester.
{{L|Patrick|''[nervously]'' Well, uh...well...well it's about your temper, Sam.}}
 
{{L|Sam|''[furious]'' No have temper! This makes sister Sam SO mad! Sister Sam put on mean face! ''[turns face around with an angrier face]'' Now smash brubber house! ''[picks up the sand rock]''}}
Sam: (huffing)
{{L|Patrick|Not the rock! ''[jumps on the sand rock while Sam pummels it]''}}
 
{{L|Sam|''[slams the ground and yells. Her regular face then sees Patrick hurt and unconscious. Sam realizes that her aggressive behaviour causes her younger brother to get hurt.]'' Patrick? Little brubber? Little brubber? Little brubber no wake.}}
Squidward: Do you think she looks a little...miffed?
{{L|SpongeBob|Patrick? ''[takes out cookie dough]''}}
 
{{L|Patrick|''[sniffs it and eats it as he wakes up]'' Cookie dough!}}
Sam: (huffing angrily. Starts crying) Those boys mean! They pick on sister Sam!
{{L|Sam|Patrick okay! Sister Sam feel bad. Sorry she hurt Patrick. Should protect little brubber. She go now. ''[walks away]''}}
 
{{L|Patrick|Sis, no, hold on! Aw, don't feel sad. You don't have to go!}}
Patrick: Shame on you two!
{{L|Sam|Yes, Sister Sam must go. Late for manicure. ''[elephant trumpet; hugs Patrick tightly again]'' Bye, brubber!}}
 
{{L|Patrick|Bye, sis.}}
Patrick: Look what you've done!
{{L|Sam|''[bus drives up and she punches another hole, but next to the door]''}}
 
{{L|''[The bus leaves.]''}}
Squidward: Look what we've done!?
{{L|Patrick|Gee, isn't my sister something?}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|Aw, she's something, all right! ''[laughs, ending the episode.]''}}
Sam: (crying so hard it flings Squidward and SpongeBob)
 
Squidward: (falls face first in the sand)
 
SpongeBob: (flies in a seahorse-shoe toss)
 
Cowboy: Golly-doo-diddley Clem, that was a nice toss.
 
Clem: What I make of 'er.
 
Clem: My money's on the little missie over yonder.
 
Patrick: Awwww hey sis, don't listen to those...meanies. Hey the new rock is looking kinda...boring. What do you say we decorate it?
 
Sam: Blecorate?
 
Patrick: You can call it whatever you like sis as long as we make it spiffy!
 
Squidward: (empties sand out of head)
 
Sam: Make new house spiffy. (takes window off of Squidward's house) Spiffy!
 
Squidward: Hey you can't do that, that's my window.
 
Sam: (puts window on the antenna on the sand rock)(laughs) Blecorate.
 
Patrick: Thats the spirit sis.
 
Squidward: Oh no that is definitly not the spirit Patrick, your sister is out of control.
 
Patrick: Hey, just mind your own business and let us blecorate in peace!
 
Squidward: You can blecor-Decorate until the sea cows come home for all I care, just don't use my property to do it!
 
Sam: (dismantles more part from Squidward's house and puts it on the sand rock) More spiffy!
 
Squidward: But thats from...my house! That's it, I've had my fill of this thieving brute!
 
Patrick: How dare call you my sister a thief, just because she took some of your things?
 
SpongeBob: Easy now gents, lets not let tempers flare. Now don't you think, Patrick, it's a teensie bit unfair that sister Sam dismantled Squidward's house?
 
Patrick: No I don't, not even a teensie, eensie, teensie bit. I see now that you've turned against my sister, you've turned on your best friend as well!(cries)
 
SpongeBob: It's not like that at all Patrick.
 
Sam: Shh. Meanies make brubber's eyes water. (grabs SpongeBob and Squidward) Meanies go home! (Throws them to their homes)
 
Patrick: Come on sis they won't bother us under our rock.
 
Sam: Meanies is mean. (sand rock closes).
 
Squidward: (Walks out of his ruined house) (gets angry and start carrying a heavy rock)
 
SpongeBob: Squidward...wait, Squidward,w-wait! Before you do anything too rash let me try to talk to them.
 
Squidward: The time for talk is over, now is the time for action!
 
Squidward: A rock made of sand by two idiots is no match for one carved from...the tides of time!
 
SpongeBob: I don't think you should do that.
 
Squidward: Who cares what you think; if it's destruction they want then it's destruction they'll get!(throws rock and bounces off and demolishes the pieces of Squidwards house on the sand rock) (sand rock opens flinging Squidward in the air)
 
Sam: Who makes noise? (sees the broken pieces) (screams) Spiffy broken! (Squidward falls) Sister mad!
 
SpongeBob: Now Sam it's not what it seems. Squidward was just rearranging the spiffy.
 
Sam:(picks up broken pieces)Sister Sam rearrange now!
 
SpongeBob: Please don't.
 
Sam: (chews up pieces and spits it out at Squidward's house) (Squidward's house collapses)
 
SpongeBob: Well Squidward at least on the bright side it will motivate you to finally take care of that kitchen remodeled. Right Squidward? Huh? Must be eager to get started.
 
Squidward: (driving bulldozer toward the sand rock) (Laughing meniacally)
 
SpongeBob: (gasps) Squidward, Squidward stop! (jumps on the bulldozer) Just calm down buddy. Lets ease that tentacle off of the accelerator, hmmm?
 
Squidward: Oh, you mean like this? (revs up accelerator knocking SpongeBob off) (meniacally) Sweeeet destruction!
 
Sam: (stops the bulldozer) (drops Squidward out of the bulldozer and chucks it at SpongeBob's house destroying it)
 
Sam: That'll teach those meanies!
 
Patrick: Your still my rock big sis.
 
SpongeBob: Patrick, I think your sister's temper is getting out of control.
 
Patrick: SpongeBob, why are you still saying mean things about Sam?
 
SpongeBob: She destroyed my house in a fit of rage! She needs to control her temper!
 
Patrick: Well I guess she can get a little carried away.
 
Sam: What Patrick doing? Why Patrick talk to meanies?
 
Patrick: Well uh...well...well it's about your temper Sam.
 
Sam: No have temper! That make sister Sam so mad! Sister Sam put on mean face! (turns face around with an angrier face) Now smash brubber's house. (picks up the sand rock)
 
Patrick: Not the rock! (jumps on the sand rock while Sam pummels it)
 
Sam: (slam the ground and see Patrick hurt) Patrick? Little Brubber? Why little brubber no doing?
 
SpongeBob: Patrick? (takes out cookie dough)
 
Patrick: (eats) Cookie Dough!
 
Sam: Patrick Ok! Sister Sam feel bad. Sorry she hurt Patrick. Should protect little brubber. She go now.(walks away)
 
Patrick: Sis wait hold on aw don't feel bad you don't have go!
 
Sam: Yes sister Sam must go and for manicure. Bye brubber!
 
Patrick: Bye Sam.
 
Sam: (bus drives up and she punches another hole in the door)
 
Patrick: Isn't my sister something?
 
SpongeBob: Aw she's something alright. (laughs)

Latest revision as of 22:37, 1 May 2025

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