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This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "Abandon Twits" from season 13, which aired on January 20, 2023.
- [The episode begins with SpongeBob and Squidward walking out of the Krusty Krab, feeling tired after a long day at work.]
- Squidward: End of another 18-hour shift of misery.
- Mr. Krabs: Oh, ahoy there! [closes the doors of the Krusty Krab and walks over to SpongeBob and Squidward] And what do you two have planned for this weekend?
- SpongeBob: I'm polishing Gary's shell! [SpongeBob's face turns into a polisher and he uses it on Squidward]
- Squidward: Well I'm going to a post-post-pre-modern unconstructivist dance performance! [dances as red, blue, and yellow lights flash quickly behind him]
- Mr. Krabs: [narrows eyes] Uh, well, that's uh, fascinating...