Wallhalla/transcript

This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "Wallhalla" from season 13, which aired on January 20, 2023.

[The episode begins at SpongeBob's house.]
SpongeBob: Oh, Gary! Who wants snackies? [shakes the bag of Snail-Po treats] Come on, Gare Bear! [points to a math test taped on the fridge] I promised you a treat if you got an A on your math test! [calling] Here, snaily, snaily, snaily! Where are ya, boy? [realizes something] Gary? [looks under table] Gary?
[Gary's meow is heard, echoing deeply. SpongeBob runs into the bathroom.]
SpongeBob: Hmm?
Gary: [echoing] Meow!
SpongeBob: [looks in toilet] Uh, Gary?
[He clasps his hands together and dives into the toilet. He comes out of Squidward's toilet. Squidward is showering.]
SpongeBob: Gary?
[Squidward screams as well hearing a woman scream and flushes SpongeBob back down the toilet. Bubble transition to SpongeBob opening his front door. His eyes stretch out into the house.]
Gary: [echoing] Meow!
SpongeBob: Gary? [walks a bit forward]
Gary: [echoing] Meow!
[The imprint of Gary is visible in the walls.]
Gary: Meow! Meow!
SpongeBob: [taps Gary] Did that lump in my wall always meow?
Gary: [slithers away] Meow!
SpongeBob: Gary, how'd you get in there? And how do I get you out?
Gary: Meow! [slithers behind a painting of SpongeBob's parents' house]
SpongeBob: [walks up the painting] Hmmm... [gets an idea] Ah!
[He opens the door of the house on the painting, and climbs inside. He scoots through the walls, but a gust of wind blows the painting's door shut. SpongeBob tries to leave, but can't open it.]
SpongeBob: [behind wall] Oh, no! I locked myself in!
[On the painting, SpongeBob's father facepalms. SpongeBob is stuck inside the walls.]
Gary: Meow! Meow!
[Gary's shadow appears on the walls.]
SpongeBob: Hey! [takes out treats] I've been looking all over for you, little mister!
Gary: Meow! [shadow disappears]
SpongeBob: [waving treats] Uh... here, boy!
[A bearded old man bites one of the treats out of SpongeBob's hands and laughs ominously.]
Wally: [laughs] Thank you, kind stranger! [continues laughing]
SpongeBob: [shrieks]
Wally: [whistles]
Gary: [climbs onto Wally's arm] Meow!
[Wally splits the Snail-Po treat in half and gives it to Gary and himself.]
Gary: Meow!
SpongeBob: Whoa! Who are you?
Wally: You can call me Wally C., for in these walls I live, ya see! [laughs as he rolls onto the walls]
SpongeBob: Well, my name be SpongeBob SquarePants for I'm a sponge who wears [dots outline of pants] square pants. Hey, how did you get in here?
Wally: Oh, long ago, [pulls down drywall to show a stylized drawing of a handyman] a handyman was I...
[The scene cuts to Wally's flashback, where his younger self works in SpongeBob's house.]
Wally: [narrating] Until...
[Two construction workers enter SpongeBob's house and wallpaper over the walls, trapping Wally inside.]
Construction workers: Hup, hup, hup...
Wally: [narrating] Me eternal confinement. [shouting behind walls]
[SpongeBob, Gary, and Incidental 104 enter the house.]
SpongeBob: [looking around] Ooh!
[They spot Wally's imprint in the walls.]
Wally: [screams]
SpongeBob: [suspicious] Is that normal?
Incidental 104: [nervously smiling] That's just the house settling.
SpongeBob: Sold! [shakes her hand]
[End flashback. Gary is chewing on Wally's beard.]
Wally: Alas. Me fate was forever cast in drywall. The end!
SpongeBob: Mmm! What! [swallows the Snail-Po treats] I can't believe you've been living in the walls all this time! Hey! Maybe we can find a way out together!
Wally: [shushes him] Ah! Ah! Ah! There be no exit once ye enter this restrictive realm.
SpongeBob: Uh. Don't you wanna get out of here?
Wally: Nay. Wally no longer cares for the outside realm. Here, feeling cramped be just a state of mind!
[Lights come on around the walls, illuminating SpongeBob, Wally, and Gary.]
SpongeBob: [pupils enlarge] Whoa!
[The drywall spreads apart as they walk around.]
Wally: Welcome to Wallhalla! [zooms out] How would you like a grand tour?
SpongeBob: Oh. Me would love the grand tour.
[Wally, SpongeBob, and Gary walk into an area covered with pipes and mold.]
Wally: Welcome to me mold garden! [notices something] Hey!
[Urchins are chewing on the mold.]
Wally: Me aspergillus! [waves hands, and the urchins jump away] Shoo! Shoo!
[SpongeBob surfaces and picks up a clump of what appear to be brown pellets.]
SpongeBob: Ooh! I see you're also growing raisins! in your garden!
Wally: Raisins? [laughs] No, those are urchin droppings! [laughs]
SpongeBob: [disgusted] Ew. [drops them]
[Wally, SpongeBob, and Gary walk past some pipes. SpongeBob notices a metal plate covered in wires.]
SpongeBob: Huh? Ooh! [grabs Wally] Wally, there's a way out!
Wally: [laughs] Nay. That's just the [waves hand] magic fridge.
[Wally opens up the plate, accessing SpongeBob's fridge through the back. He grabs a carton of kelp juice and drinks from it.]
Wally: [sighs]
SpongeBob: [amazed] Magic?
Wally: No matter how much I eat or drink, she always provideth more! [laughs]
[SpongeBob drinks the kelp juice.]
SpongeBob: Hey! I get Tender Tummy Kelp Juice, too! Sure tastes better from the magic fridge, though!
Wally: There be many magical crannies in Wallhalla!
[He grabs SpongeBob, and they run off, leaving the kelp juice behind. Wally shows SpongeBob a panel in the wall.]
Wally: Wallhalla even has a magic medicine cabinet! [opens it and reaches out for something] Where I keep... [grabs toothbrush] Me magic nosebrush! [grows nose and brushes it with toothbrush, then puts it back] Brush the hairs beneath your nose, so they don't drip upon your clothes! [laughs]
SpongeBob: Wallhalla is amazing! Wow, to think that right behind the wall was a world without problems...
Wally: Well, Wallhalla does have one problem. [ominously] A noisy neighbor!
SpongeBob: [gasps] No!
Wally: Beneath these walls, there lives a creature with squeaky shoes! Who stomps around all day! A monster who shrieks with delight at all hours! A beast with an ear-piercing laugh! So annoying, it drove me mad! And it sounds like this! [imitates SpongeBob's laugh]
SpongeBob: [screams] That's the most horrible thing I've ever heard!
Gary: [sarcastically] Meow.
SpongeBob: But I'm sure glad to be safe in here with you, Wally. [brushes his beard with his finger]
Wally: Oh, SpongeBob! [grabs him and Gary] Meeting ye has been the greatest day of me life! Or is it nighttime? I lost track years ago [puts them down] What say ye to a friendship feast?
SpongeBob: Oh, I thought you'd never ask!
[Wally, SpongeBob, and Gary sit around a table, each with a glass and a plate full of garbage. There is a carton of kelp juice on the table. Wally pours some for SpongeBob, and they clink their glasses.]
Wally and SpongeBob: To friendship!
[They drink the kelp juice, then clink two mushrooms together.]
Wally and SpongeBob: To Wallhalla!
[They throw the mushrooms into each other's mouths. They pinch their noses and continue eating. After the meal, they are all fat.]
SpongeBob: Well, that was the friendliest feast I ever had! Welp, guess me and Gary better find our way back home!
Wally: Wha? Who's Gary?
SpongeBob: Oh, you know, my pet snail. Gary.
Wally: [blows raspberry] Your pet snail? He be my pet snail! And his name ain't Gary, it's "gah-REE"! See?
[He lifts up Gary's shell, revealing Gary's name written under it.]
SpongeBob: Oh, I get it! Gah-ree, Gare-ee! [small laugh] That's funny! [laughs]
[The background warps as Wally reacts to SpongeBob's laugh.]
Wally: That haunting laugh! [the background is white with red splotches] It was ye! Ye who drove me mad! [screams]
SpongeBob: [swallows] Gulp.
Gary: Meow.
[Wally knocks over the table, sending SpongeBob and Gary to the ground. Pipes burst and emit steam.]
Wally: I curse thee, SpongeBob SquarePants! And that irritating cackle! Now I'm gonna wring the water from your pores!
[SpongeBob screams and runs away with Gary. Wally chases him. SpongeBob ducks through a bunch of pipes, which Wally smashes through, causing the walls to close in.]
Wally: Be gone from Wallhalla! [smashes more] You're breakin' me beautiful world!
[Patrick walks into the house.]
Patrick: [calling out] SpongeBob? You home? Hmmm... [Wally and SpongeBob pass him in the walls in the background] Guess not. Well, su casa ay mi casa!
[Patrick goes into the kitchen, opens the fridge, and sees SpongeBob and Gary be chased by Wally.]
Patrick: I don't believe it! [grabs urchin droppings] Raisins! [eats them and goes to the living room]
[SpongeBob, Gary, and Wally race across the walls, knocking over furniture until they enter the TV through its cable. SpongeBob and Gary appear over a black-and-white movie.]
SpongeBob: Patrick!
Gary: Meowww!
SpongeBob: Help usss!
[Wally chases them away. Patrick is unfazed.]
Patrick: Ugh. This show stinks. [throws droppings] Boo!
[SpongeBob and Wally are fighting over Gary on the TV. A package is pushed through SpongeBob's mail slot.]
Patrick: Oh, the mail is here! [reads it] This isn't for me. [goes to bathroom and puts it in toilet] I'll just return to sender! [hits it rapidly] Go down! [package explodes, revealing cookies inside] Ooh! Not-for-me cookies! [eats out of the box]
[SpongeBob and Gary burst through the mirror, with Wally following. SpongeBob and Gary land in Patrick's arms.]
SpongeBob: Patrick! Thank goodness you're here!
Patrick: Do you mind, SpongeBob? I'm using the bathroom.
Wally: [realizes] Oh, no! I'm through the looking glass! [sees hole in wall] Wallhalla's been destroyed! [points at SpongeBob] Ye ruined me narrow, uncomfortable life! [crying]
Patrick: Who's the crybaby?
SpongeBob: [comforts Wally] Aw, there has to be one thing from the outside world that you miss. Right?
[Patrick takes out and unwraps a Krabby Patty. Wally smells it and approaches him.]
Wally: [hopeful] Why, is that... a Krabby Patty? [Patrick moves it away from him] Okay, I admit there was one thing I missed. I've had to ration this [takes out moldy Krabby Patty] one Krabby Patty for decades! [eats a bit]
SpongeBob: Hmmm. [snaps fingers] I think I have an idea! [sees package in toilet] Uh, Patrick, why are my mom's cookies floating in the toilet?
Patrick: Oh. Because I forgot to flush. [flushes toilet]
[Bubble transition to the Krusty Krab. SpongeBob flips a patty, rings the bell, and spins his spatula.]
SpongeBob: Order up! [puts large Krabby Patty on spatula] Or should I say, order down! [giggles as he drops the Krabby Patty into the floor, where Wally grabs it]
Wally: Thank ye! [moves outside the kitchen and pops out of the cash register, scaring Squidward] Got any mustard?
[Squidward shrieks. Both Wally and SpongeBob laugh as Squidward screams in fear and runs out of the Krusty Krab.]
Wally: [sighs] I still hate that laugh. [The episode ends.]