As Seen on TV/transcript: Difference between revisions
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{{L|Mr. Krabs|Oh, well, then how do you explain that? ''[Pointing to 2 Krusty Krabs]'' A second Krusty Krab?}} | {{L|Mr. Krabs|Oh, well, then how do you explain that? ''[Pointing to 2 Krusty Krabs]'' A second Krusty Krab?}} | ||
{{L|Squidward|Mr. Krabs, everyone needs an understudy. ''[showing Mr. Krabs' double]''}} | {{L|Squidward|Mr. Krabs, everyone needs an understudy. ''[showing Mr. Krabs' double]''}} | ||
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Well, you got me there. But why do we need him? ''[ | {{L|Mr. Krabs|Well, you got me there. But why do we need him? ''[pointing to a clown]''}} | ||
{{L|Squidward|This job gets very stressful, Mr. Krabs.}} | {{L|Squidward|This job gets very stressful, Mr. Krabs.}} | ||
{{L|Mr. Krabs|All right, get lost, all of ya. ''[everyone leaves angrily]'' You're fired. Go on. Scram. Get out of here, you moochers. That's right, keep moving. ''[stops the clown from leaving]'' Except you. You stay. ''[ | {{L|Mr. Krabs|All right, get lost, all of ya. ''[everyone leaves angrily]'' You're fired. Go on. Scram. Get out of here, you moochers. That's right, keep moving. ''[stops the clown from leaving]'' Except you. You stay. ''[the clown smiles and a horn honks]''}} | ||
{{L|Squidward|Well, this is just great. Now we've got no crew to make the commercial.}} | {{L|Squidward|Well, this is just great. Now we've got no crew to make the commercial.}} | ||
{{L|Mr. Krabs|What are you talking about, Squidward? We got the cheapest crew in the world. You, me, and SpongeBob. Speaking of which, where is the little barnacle?}} | {{L|Mr. Krabs|What are you talking about, Squidward? We got the cheapest crew in the world. You, me, and SpongeBob. Speaking of which, where is the little barnacle?}} | ||
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{{L|SpongeBob|Look, Gary! It's on!}} | {{L|SpongeBob|Look, Gary! It's on!}} | ||
{{L|''[commercial starts]''}} | {{L|''[commercial starts]''}} | ||
{{L|Pearl|Oh, Jen. I've got a real problem.}} | {{L|Pearl|''[as Amy]'' Oh, Jen. I've got a real problem.}} | ||
{{L|Squidward|''[Jen]'' What's your problem, Amy?}} | {{L|Squidward|''[as Jen]'' What's your problem, Amy?}} | ||
{{L|Pearl|''[Amy]'' I've got all this money and I don't know what to do with it and I'm hungry.}} | {{L|Pearl|''[as Amy]'' I've got all this money and I don't know what to do with it and I'm hungry.}} | ||
{{L|''[Mr. Krabs is laughing off-set]''}} | {{L|''[Mr. Krabs is laughing off-set]''}} | ||
{{L|Pearl|''[Amy]'' Who's there?}} | {{L|Pearl|''[as Amy]'' Who's there?}} | ||
{{L|Squidward|''[Jen]'' Where's that coming from?}} | {{L|Squidward|''[as Jen]'' Where's that coming from?}} | ||
{{L|''[Purple smoke appears]''}} | {{L|''[Purple smoke appears]''}} | ||
{{L|Amy and Jen|Yippee, it's Mr. Krabs.}} | {{L|Amy and Jen|Yippee, it's Mr. Krabs.}} | ||
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{{L|SpongeBob|You're right! Wow, he recognized me.}} | {{L|SpongeBob|You're right! Wow, he recognized me.}} | ||
{{L|Old Man Jenkins|Yup. See ya later, Bran Flakes. What a nice cereal box.}} | {{L|Old Man Jenkins|Yup. See ya later, Bran Flakes. What a nice cereal box.}} | ||
{{L|SpongeBob|''[talking to self]'' "Weren't you that guy on TV?" Yes! I am that guy. ''[laughs]'' How kind of you to notice. Weren't you that guy on the television last night? Yes, that was me. I... ''[runs into Peterson]''}} | {{L|SpongeBob|''[talking to self]'' "Weren't you that guy on TV?" Yes! I am that guy. ''[laughs]'' How kind of you to notice. Weren't you that guy on the television last night? Yes, that was me. I... ''[runs into Nat Peterson]''}} | ||
{{L|SpongeBob|Oh, please excuse me, sir.}} | {{L|SpongeBob|Oh, please excuse me, sir.}} | ||
{{L|Peterson|Oh, that's quite all right, uhh, SpongeBob.}} | {{L|Nat Peterson|Oh, that's quite all right, uhh, SpongeBob.}} | ||
{{L|SpongeBob|Wow. I'm getting recognized all over. Why, next thing you'll know, people are going to start doing things like holding doors open for... ''[gasps]'' Why, sir, I'm flattered.}} | {{L|SpongeBob|Wow. I'm getting recognized all over. Why, next thing you'll know, people are going to start doing things like holding doors open for... ''[gasps]'' Why, sir, I'm flattered.}} | ||
{{L|Peterson|Really? I don't smell anything.}} | {{L|Nat Peterson|Really? I don't smell anything.}} | ||
{{L|SpongeBob|''[laughs]'' You're on your way.}} | {{L|SpongeBob|''[laughs]'' You're on your way.}} | ||
{{L|Fred|Excuse me, sir, can I get a napkin?}} | {{L|Fred|Excuse me, sir, can I get a napkin?}} | ||
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{{L|Mr. Krabs|There you are, SpongeBob.}} | {{L|Mr. Krabs|There you are, SpongeBob.}} | ||
{{L|SpongeBob|Yes, pilot.}} | {{L|SpongeBob|Yes, pilot.}} | ||
{{L|Mr. Krabs|I need you to... ''[gets hit with mop]'' ...Ow! ''[finger breaks]'' Alright, boy. Get in there and scrub the head and stop acting so predictable.}} | {{L|Mr. Krabs|I need you to... ''[gets hit with a mop]'' ...Ow! ''[his finger breaks]'' Alright, boy. Get in there and scrub the head and stop acting so predictable.}} | ||
{{L|SpongeBob|I'm so misunderstood. Alas, good people, even the brightest of stars grow weary, and I am no exception. But I will shine again after a quick break in my quarters. Stay beautiful. ''[we cut to Dale and Lou in the restroom]''}} | {{L|SpongeBob|I'm so misunderstood. Alas, good people, even the brightest of stars grow weary, and I am no exception. But I will shine again after a quick break in my quarters. Stay beautiful. ''[we cut to Dale and Lou in the restroom]''}} | ||
{{L|Dale|Hey, were you able to catch Glenn the Pinkfish on Flounderman last night?}} | {{L|Dale|Hey, were you able to catch Glenn the Pinkfish on Flounderman last night?}} | ||
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{{L|SpongeBob|Come on, Krabs. Let's think outside the box for a second. Commercials are old-hat. The people want music. If I could change fate I would, Krabsy. And I'm an entertainer deep down. A people's person. We're on the same page here, aren't we?}} | {{L|SpongeBob|Come on, Krabs. Let's think outside the box for a second. Commercials are old-hat. The people want music. If I could change fate I would, Krabsy. And I'm an entertainer deep down. A people's person. We're on the same page here, aren't we?}} | ||
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Boy, those Krabby fumes must've gotten to your head. Borrow Squidward's gas mask and get right back to work.}} | {{L|Mr. Krabs|Boy, those Krabby fumes must've gotten to your head. Borrow Squidward's gas mask and get right back to work.}} | ||
{{L|SpongeBob|''[snaps fingers twice]'' I knew you'd understand. Well, thanks for the start. I'm out of here. ''[ | {{L|SpongeBob|''[snaps fingers twice]'' I knew you'd understand. Well, thanks for the start. I'm out of here. ''[snaps his fingers outside his office]''}} | ||
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Oooooh... I've never felt such a strange combination of pity... and indigestion.}} | {{L|Mr. Krabs|Oooooh... I've never felt such a strange combination of pity... and indigestion.}} | ||
{{L|Bill|There he is! Hey! We've been waiting for you.}} | {{L|Bill|There he is! Hey! We've been waiting for you.}} | ||
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{{L|SpongeBob|No can do, Squidward. These people demand entertainment.}} | {{L|SpongeBob|No can do, Squidward. These people demand entertainment.}} | ||
{{L|Squidward|Enter-what?}} | {{L|Squidward|Enter-what?}} | ||
{{L|''[SpongeBob grabs microphone]''}} | {{L|''[SpongeBob grabs a microphone]''}} | ||
{{L|SpongeBob|How you doing, folks?}} | {{L|SpongeBob|How you doing, folks?}} | ||
{{L|All|Hungry!}} | {{L|All|Hungry!}} | ||
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{{L|Bill|We're starving!}} | {{L|Bill|We're starving!}} | ||
{{L|SpongeBob|♪ That one... special... sweater... ♪ ''[yelling continues]'' Squidward, this crowd is insatiable.}} | {{L|SpongeBob|♪ That one... special... sweater... ♪ ''[yelling continues]'' Squidward, this crowd is insatiable.}} | ||
{{L|Squidward|Then why don't you back in the kitchen, and grab some patties, and give them what they | {{L|Squidward|Then why don't you back in the kitchen, and grab some patties, and give them what they CAME IN FOR?!}} | ||
{{L|SpongeBob|Juggling! Thanks, Squiddy. ''[crowd booing]''}} | {{L|SpongeBob|Juggling! Thanks, Squiddy. ''[crowd booing]''}} | ||
{{L|Nancy|Is this some kind of joke?}} | {{L|Nancy|Is this some kind of joke?}} | ||
{{L|SpongeBob|They want juggling and jokes at the same time? Tough crowd. ''[ | {{L|SpongeBob|They want juggling and jokes at the same time? Tough crowd. ''[juggling patties]''}} | ||
{{L|Bill|Oh, now what's he doing?}} | {{L|Bill|Oh, now what's he doing?}} | ||
{{L|SpongeBob|Uhh, what do you call a vampire whose car breaks down three miles from a blood bank? A cab!}} | {{L|SpongeBob|Uhh, what do you call a vampire whose car breaks down three miles from a blood bank? A cab!}} | ||
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{{L|SpongeBob|Uh, okay. There's a nun, an astronaut, and a hairdryer.}} | {{L|SpongeBob|Uh, okay. There's a nun, an astronaut, and a hairdryer.}} | ||
{{L|All|We want patties!}} | {{L|All|We want patties!}} | ||
{{L|SpongeBob|Well, the most I can juggle is three, but the show must go on. Whoa! ''[ | {{L|SpongeBob|Well, the most I can juggle is three, but the show must go on. Whoa! ''[slips and patties flip in the air]''}} | ||
{{L|All|Boo!}} | {{L|All|Boo!}} | ||
{{L|SpongeBob|No! ''[talking in his head]'' My career is over. All those years clawing my way up. All the people I've stepped on, wasted. ''[patties land on the grill]''}} | {{L|SpongeBob|No! ''[talking in his head]'' My career is over. All those years clawing my way up. All the people I've stepped on, wasted. ''[patties land on the grill]''}} | ||
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{{L|Nancy|That's what we've been waiting for.}} | {{L|Nancy|That's what we've been waiting for.}} | ||
{{L|''[dotted lines form from his eyes to point to patty]''}} | {{L|''[dotted lines form from his eyes to point to patty]''}} | ||
{{L|SpongeBob|They seem to like it when I put this patty on the grill. I may be able to save this act, yet. Roll with it, SpongeBob. Roll with it. There's more where that came from, folks. ''[ | {{L|SpongeBob|They seem to like it when I put this patty on the grill. I may be able to save this act, yet. Roll with it, SpongeBob. Roll with it. There's more where that came from, folks. ''[puts a whole ton of patties on the grill]''}} | ||
{{L|All|Yay!}} | {{L|All|Yay!}} | ||
{{L|SpongeBob|You like that?}} | {{L|SpongeBob|You like that?}} | ||
{{L|Bill|It's what we wanted all along.}} | {{L|Bill|It's what we wanted all along.}} | ||
{{L|SpongeBob|''[thinking]'' It seems to be working. But how do I follow it up? Buns! ''[speaking]'' It's a stretch, but we've all got to push the envelope, sometime. Okay, folks. How do you like this? ''[ | {{L|SpongeBob|''[thinking]'' It seems to be working. But how do I follow it up? Buns! ''[speaking]'' It's a stretch, but we've all got to push the envelope, sometime. Okay, folks. How do you like this? ''[flips patties inside buns]''}} | ||
{{L|All|Yeah!}} | {{L|All|Yeah!}} | ||
{{L|SpongeBob|I'm breaking new ground. Time to get edgy.}} | {{L|SpongeBob|I'm breaking new ground. Time to get edgy.}} | ||
Revision as of 12:03, 30 March 2021
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