Accidents Will Happen/transcript

Template:EpisodeTr Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L {{L|Squidward|Ow! (he takes the end of SpongeBob's stethoscope and shouts into the end of it) GET AWAY FROM ME!!!

Mr. Krabs: (screams) Please don't report me to the OWS. I'll do anything. Anything for you.

Squidward: Hmm? Anything? (cuts to scene where Mr. Krabs lays Squidward down)

Mr. Krabs: Now if you need anything, just let me know.

Squidward: I could sure use a pillow.

Mr. Krabs: Ok.

Squidward: And another one for my foot. Fluff it.

Mr. Krabs: (angered) What did you say?

Squidward: I said, "fluff it."

Mr. Krabs: (mocking tone) fluff your pillow, I'll fluff your pillow.

Squidward: (angered) What?

Mr. Krabs: Oh nothing.

Squidward: And also, looks like you'll have to take over for me.

Mr. Krabs: Well, at least there's not that much customers anyway. (anchovies meep) Of course. (cuts to seen when Spongebob holds a clipboard)

Spongebob: Mr. Krabs, I finished the OWS report. Question 1: Was the accident the cause of criminal negligence. (Mr. Krabs screams) Mr. Krabs, what is criminal negligence.

Mr. Krabs: It's what criminals wear when they go to bed. (whispering) I think Mr. Squidward is hiding something from us, and I want you to figure out what it is.

Spongebob: Can do, Mr. Krabs.

Mr. Krabs: Shhhh. (whispering) You gotta keep it a secret from Squidward. (Cuts to scene where Spongebob tries to figure out the cause of the accident)

Spongebob: Hmm? Huh? If I'm gonna solve this problem, I'm gonna need an assistant. (Cuts to scene where Patrick is shown) Ok, when you take a bun, I'm gonna hit you with the shelf. (Patrick shouts) Looks like we'll have to do it again.

Patrick: Uhh, do what again? Ow!

Spongebob: Ok, one more time.

Patrick: Ow! (cuts to scene where Squidward relaxes on Krusty Krab roof)

Squidward: After tea, I'd like a tentacle massage.

Mr. Krabs: I ain't touching your tentacles with a 10-ft ankling.

Squidward: (on phone) Hello, I'd like a tentacle massage....(Mr. Krabs chews on phone)

Mr. Krabs: I'll be right back. How's the solution coming?

Spongebob: Not happening yet, but we're working on it. (Mr. Krabs sighs)

Squidward: (clearing throat) I'm waiting!

Mr. Krabs: Coming!

Bill: (clearing throat) Anybody there? Hello?

Mr. Krabs: (angered, muttering) Oh, for the love of peat moss.

Bill: Uh aren't you gonna wash your......(groaning)

Mr. Krabs: how long do I need to keep this up?

Squidward: Oh, it's gonna be a long full recovery. Plus, don't forget about my back barnacles. (Mr. Krabs screams & then cries) (customers mutter in anger)

OWS Manager: Office Working Society.

Mr. Krabs: (sighs) Squidward, after all I've done for you, you've called the OWS.

Spongebob: He didn't call him Mr. Krabs, we did. We wanted to find out what the real problem is. Right Patrick?

Patrick: Uh, breakfast, green, Finland. (cuts to scene where they all investigate the accident)

OWS Manager: So, this is where the accident occurred. Would anyone tell me what happened.

Squidward: I'll be glad to. (in despair) I mean, I can live the whole tragic episode, if I must. It was just another day at the Krusty Krab, when suddenly I saw, a patty bun with 10 seeds instead of 11. May I take that?

Bill: What a nice and charming individual.

Squidward: But then, I tripped and feel, and then I cried for help. (crying) Help! Help! But the worst part was that I didn't get that kind gentleman his new bun.

OWS Manager: Oh, I see. As you know, certain penalties are involved. (types random numbers while Mr. Krabs cries) One... dollar!

Mr. Krabs: (blinking, gasping) No!! Oh, Why, why, why?! (gasps) Hold on a sec. that's my security surveillance camera.

Squidward: (shocked) WHAT?!?

Mr. Krabs: I forgot. I borrowed that from the airport. Now, let's see what really happened. (Squidward is going to the bun shelf, but what he does is sleep on it, soon the chain breaks and Squidward falls unharmed under the buns, Mr. Krabs gasps) You!! Ffffaker. Not to mention that you were sleeping on the job! (sighs deeply, forcing Squidward to the ground)

Squidward: What are you gonna do?

Mr. Krabs: I'm gonna make you pay.

Squidward: Oh, no! (cuts to scene where Krabs gets pampered. Krabs sighs. Squid gasps. When Squidward starts to pop some of the barnacles on Mr. Krabs back he screams in sorrowness) \