Five Times the Fun/transcript

This article is a transcript of the Kamp Koral: SpongeBob's Under Years episode "Five Times the Fun/transcript" from season , which aired on .

[The episode opens with a shot of a waterfall.]
Sandy: [riding falling boat] Yee-haw! [rows against the rapids, then flips in the air] Whoa! [jumps multiple times inside boat, bouncing on the rocks] Yah! [hums while rowing normally]
SpongeBob: [yelling from the top of the boat, with Squidward hugging the inside of it] Whoo! Isn't this [turns around] great, Mr. Tentacles?
Squidward: [trembling] No! [yells as their boat hits a rock and flies into the air]
SpongeBob: Whee! [falls down]
Squidward: [flails, screaming as he falls down with the boat equipment and crashes]
Sandy: [pulls her boat to shore]
SpongeBob: [riding partially broken off boat to shore] Gosh, Sandy, [spins] those were the wildest wide water rapids I ever rafted! Mr. Tentacles and I can't wait to go again.
Squidward: [cradling himself, trembling] Never again! Never again!
Sandy: That was a hoot. But where's Patrick?
Patrick: [off-screen as SpongeBob and Sandy notice him in the rapids, wearing a life preserver over his eyes] Guys? Hey, guys? Where are you? I can't see anyth-- whoa! [hits a rock, making him bounce and hit several more rocks in the river]
Squidward: [wincing as they all watch]
Patrick: [hits rocks like a pinball, then lands in the water and emerges to catch his breath]
SpongeBob: [calling out] Patrick! Are you okay?
Patrick: Yeah, why?
SpongeBob: [points ahead] You're headed right for cheese grater rocks!
Patrick: [looks ahead] Huh? [sees the cheese grater rocks, whimpers as he tries paddling the opposite direction, then gets grated inside the rocks]
Sandy: [off-screen] And buzzsaw boulder!
Patrick: Whoa! [tries to paddle away to avoid the buzzsaw, but gets moved along the saw and is rapidly sent along]
SpongeBob: [off-screen] And Guillotine Falls! [camera zooms out to show a bunch of spiked trees below a waterfall] [shouting] Patrick! [runs off on the rock nearby to catch up to Patrick]
Patrick: Ah, hi, SpongeBob!
SpongeBob: [gets on top of a log] Don't worry, Patrick. I gotcha! [grabs Patrick] There.
Patrick: Thanks, buddy. I was almost worried there for a moment.
SpongeBob: [looks down to realize he only picked up Patrick's head, then screams and flails, losing balance; screams again as they fall down]
Patrick: [yells, then lands in Squidward's arms] Squidward!
Squidward: [screams, tosses Patrick's head to Sandy]
Sandy: [fails to grip Patrick properly, losing balance] Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Patrick: [head gets sent into the air] Whoo-hoo! [lands in Sandy's hand]
Sandy: Patrick, your head! It-It-It's just a head!
Patrick: Huh? [looks down] Oh, that! My body will grow back. I'm a sea star. [grows a tiny body, flails and giggles]
Squidward: [wincing] Ew.
Sandy: [wincing] Patrick, you're nude! [holds Patrick out in front of SpongeBob]
SpongeBob: [shakes] I'll just make a little daidey for ya. [pulls his camp kerchief from his pants and wraps it around Patrick like a diaper]
Squidward and Sandy: [still wincing] Eww.
SpongeBob: There you go.
Patrick: [farts] Oh. [sighs] Good timing.
SpongeBob, Sandy, and Squidward: Ew.
[Sandy takes Patrick away, and SpongeBob and Squidward follow. Meanwhile, in the distance in front of Guillotine Falls, one of Patrick's limbs is on the ground. It grows an eye and starts inching away. Three more limbs each with an eye inch away as well. The last one drops Patrick's shorts, and grows a mouth.]
Mouth limb: [hopping away] ♪ Leedle-leedle-leedle-lee. ♪
[Bubble transition to Patrick wearing a bonnet in a stroller.]
SpongeBob: [finishes tying the bonnet] Don't worry, big guy. Until that body is back, I'm gonna make sure you enjoy every camp activity [points] just like normal.
Sandy: And I'm gonna make sure I document [taps pencil against clipboard] every part of the regrowing process for science.
Squidward: And I'm gonna go read a magazine and pretend I don't know any of you. [walks away]
SpongeBob: Gosh, Mr. Tentacles, wouldn't you rather--
Squidward: Sorry, I don't talk to strangers.
[Bubble transition to a camper riding on a zip-line.]
Camper: Whoo-hoo!
Patrick: [tries reaching for the zip-line, which is too high up] Ooh, ooh, ooh! [jumping] Ooh!
[SpongeBob and Sandy climb up to the zip-line platform.]
SpongeBob: Let me help you, little guy. [lifts Patrick up, who bites onto the zip-line] Huh? [Patrick's diaper stretches out in the wind sends him and Patrick flying along, both scream]
Sandy: [gets grabbed by SpongeBob, screams]
[As the trio fly along the zip-line, they bump into several campers, sending them flying on top of Patrick and creating a ball of campers. They all hit the end of the zip-line and the ball explodes, everyone falling down and screaming.]
SpongeBob and Sandy: [get their heads out of the sand]
Patrick: [floats down onto SpongeBob and Sandy, using his diaper as a parachute, then shakes and grows]
[Wipe transition to SpongeBob and Patrick each holding a bow and dart in front of some targets.]
SpongeBob: [shoots the dart at a target, landing a bullseye and observing it from behind] Bullseye!
Sandy: Your turn, Patrick.
Patrick: [puts the dart in his mouth and tries to put it in the bow, hitting himself with the bow in the process, faceplants]
SpongeBob: [jumps down] Oh! [picks up Patrick] Here, lemme give you a hand, buddy. [accidentally shoots Patrick into the other bullseye, who screams]
Patrick: Pinkeye! [shakes, then falls over with the target with SpongeBob on it]
French Narrator: [narrating time card] Meanwhile, deep in the Kelp Forest.
Mini Patricks: [laughing and running through grass]
Patrick head: Leedle. [shakes on a leaf and jumps off, growing a full body, then laughs as he runs into the grass]
[Bubble transition to the Dinghy cabin, where Patrick is playing with blocks while SpongeBob and Sandy watch.]
SpongeBob: You know, Patrick, it's time you stopped wearing diapers. Look how big you've gotten!
Sandy: And look how big your pile of dirty [opens Squidward's room door to reveal a giant pile of kerchiefs] neck-kerchiefs is.
Squidward: [mostly covered by the kerchiefs] Help.
Sandy: [slams door]
Patrick: Why, thank you. But I'm actually quite happy with the current arrangement. [farts in his diaper] Clean-up on aisle two.
SpongeBob and Sandy: [roll eyes and groan; cut to them dragging Patrick to the outhouse]
Patrick: No! I don't wanna use the outhouse! Diapers are more convenient! [grabs onto the outhouse door, which closes, then gets placed on the outhouse toilet] Oh! Actually, this isn't so bad. [slightly sinks into the toilet] Huh? [completely falls down the toilet hole, splats]
SpongeBob and Sandy: Patrick!
Squidward: [opens outhouse door, holding his bladder] Quit messing around in here, you two! Some people have to use the facilities! [tosses SpongeBob and Sandy out]
Patrick: [in outhouse] Hey, Squidward. Whatcha readin'?
Squidward: [screams, outhouse launches into the sky like a rocket, leaving Patrick behind]
Patrick: Oh, hey, guys!
SpongeBob and Sandy: Patrick! [lift Patrick up out of the hole to reveal he has fully grown]
Sandy: Patrick, your body is back to normal size! [jotting on clipboard] Fascinatin'.
SpongeBob: Hey, buddy. You do know what this means, don't ya? [raises eyebrows repeatedly]
Patrick: [gasps] You mean?
SpongeBob: That's right. [pulls up Patrick's pants and tosses them into the air, then catches them] Big boy pants.
Patrick: [excitedly whimpers as he takes his pants back and puts them on]
All: Whoo! [cheer]
SpongeBob: [pointing] Pants!
Mini Patricks: [yell excitedly as they run out of the grass; one of them falls over, then laughs as he follows along]
Sandy: Oh. We're gonna need some more pants.
Squidward: [screaming as he lands in the distance, creating an explosion]
[Bubble transition to the five Patricks in the Dinghy cabin.]
Sandy: [pacing] So, each one of you grew out of Patrick's arms, legs, and head? Amazing! [jots on clipboard]
Patrick #3: Yep!
Patrick #5: Correct!
Patrick #1: My face has an elbow. [bends head, knocking a lamp over, shrugs] Oops. I broke it.
Patricks: [laugh]
Patrick #3: [takes an oar off the wall and breaks it in half] Oops, I broke it!
Patricks: [laugh]
Patrick #3: [yells]
Patricks: [all laugh and run forward; one falls down and another swings with an oar]
Sandy: I think I see what's goin' on here. [Squidward's clarinet bounces past as she brings in a mobile chalkboard and begins drawing on it] If I start with Patrick's number of accidents per hour, multiply that to the power of five Patricks...
Patrick: [moving backwards as he loses balance while trying to catch something] Whoa! Oh! [crashes] Oops! I broke it!
Sandy: [draws in a "1," gasps] Holy jalapenos! Those Patricks are gonna cause chaos on an exponential level!
Patrick: [screams and lands on the chalkboard, spinning around, then faceplants, dizzy] Oops, I broke it!
Sandy: [tosses the Patrick away] Aw, this could be bad, SpongeBob. [picking up parts of the equation on the floor] You better keep them distracted while I try to work out how much food it'll take to calm them down.
SpongeBob: Oh, sure. All I have to do is distract five rampaging Patricks. We could form a basketball team, or start a boy band, or, or-- [points] Sandy?
Sandy: [looks behind] Huh?
Patricks: [running and laughing outside]
SpongeBob and Sandy: [look at each other and gasp] The Patricks are on the loose!
[Bubble transition to a camper trying to reach the zip-line. A Patrick climbs onto the platform, knocking a camper over.]
Camper #1: [screams and falls]
Patrick #1: [grabs a zip-line] My turn! Whee!
Camper #2: [continues to try grabbing a zip-line]
Patrick #2: [climbs up and grabs a zip-line] Still my turn! Whee!
Camper #2: [tries grabbing a zip-line again]
Patrick #3: [climbs up and grabs a zip-line] Still still my turn! [rides the zip-line while the camper is on him] Whoo!
Camper #2: [yells]
Patricks #1 and #2: [laugh and turn around on the zip-line]
Camper #2: [as the Patricks fly into each other, screams]
[Cut to a shot of Earth, where a shockwave occurs from the impact. Cut to Bubble Bass pouring crumbs onto his tongue from a chip bag while sitting in a boat. The Patricks' heads appear in the water as they circle around him.]
Bubble Bass: [looks down and notices the Patrick heads] Oh? Uh?
Patricks: [shout and jump Bubble Bass, attacking him]
Patrick: [points ahead] More food!
Patricks: [cheer and jump ahead into the air]
Bubble Bass: [gets up, and only his head hasn't been reduced to a skeleton] Oh, great. I've been masticated by morons.
[Cut to campers eating food at a table. A Patrick comes by and chomps away at the food, also eating away part of the table and the campers' legs]
Campers: [look down at their legs to see bones, scream]
Patrick: [picks up a box in the canteen] Mm. [chugs hot dogs from the box] Huh? Hm. [inhales the box, then all the kitchen utensils inside the canteen]
[Pan over to a Patrick gnawing on an oar, who runs into the outside shower and falls on his face. He bites on the shower curtain and sucks it in. Another Patrick is chasing a camper with a cake on his head.]
Patrick #1: [laughs and follows the other Patrick]
Camper: Huh? [screams as he covers himself with a piece of paper]
Squidward: [sighs on a cabin porch, then begins playing his clarinet just as two Patricks start eating away at the porch, making the cabin fall down; yelps as his clarinet lands on his head]
Camper: [screaming as a Patrick chases him]
Campers: [screaming as another Patrick chases them]
[Two Patricks start eating the camp sign, and another has Christmas lights in his mouth.]
Perch: [from the watchtower] Attention, campers. A pack of perilous Patricks is presently pillaging the camp. If you see one, do not approach! They should be considered peckish and pesky.
Patrick: [giggles behind Perch]
Perch: Huh?
Patrick: Food!
Perch: [screams and falls out of the watchtower]
Patrick: [grabs the microphone with his tongue and eats it, then burps over the loudspeaker]
Campers: [cover their ears] Ugh! Ew!
Sandy: [rolls in the chalkboard from before] SpongeBob! I--
SpongeBob: [yelling with his ears plugged] What?! Oh. [unplugs ears] Sorry.
Sandy: I finished my calculations. We ain't got enough food for five Patricks. In fact, in exactly 17 hours, 43 minutes, and 22 seconds, they're gonna devour the whole camp!
SpongeBob: [points away] Oh, I don't think it'll take that long.
Campers: [screaming and running away as a Patrick uses his tongue to topple the watchtower.]
[Two Patricks are chomping at a log that a camper is on. The camper salutes as "Taps" plays.]
Sandy: Aw. Maybe I forgot to carry the two. Well, it's nothin' to worry about. [flips chalkboard over to reveal a secret plan] I also calculated a little ol' backup plan.
SpongeBob: Ah!
[Bubble transition to a bunch of scraps lying in the camp. The camera pans over to a Patrick chewing on a cabin.]
Sandy: [off-screen as a triangle is hit] Dinner time!
Patricks: [emerge from the cabin]
Sandy: Come and get it! You heard me! [puts away triangle] Grub's on! Behind the canteen! [runs behind the canteen] Whew!
Patricks: [run to behind the canteen, all gasp upon seeing a massive pile of Krabby Patties]
Patrick #2: Food! Oh, boy!
Patricks: [cheer as they jump into the Krabby Patty painting, which falls down as they fall into a compactor]
Sandy: [she, SpongeBob, and Squidward walk in front of the compactor] Thanks for the painting assist, Squidward.
Squidward: [scoffs, twirls paintbrush] A positively vulgar use of my talents. [puts yellow paint on his brush] Huh. But, you're welcome.
SpongeBob: [jumps onto the compactor lever and pulls it down to activates it]
Sandy: According to my calculations, this here trash compactor oughta [puts her fists together] squish all them Patricks into one Patrick.
SpongeBob: Then things will be back to normal! Hooray!
Sandy: Huh?
Patricks: [laughing in the compactor as it contorts and explodes, making Patrick particles fall down like snow]
Campers: [emerging from rocks] Huh? [cheering]
Kevin: [holds out his tongue and gets some Patrick snow on it]
Patrick: [now naked and tiny, lands on SpongeBob's nose]
SpongeBob: Uh, Sandy? [holds Patrick on his finger] I think you forgot to carry the two again.
Squidward: [screams] They got in my eyes! [several Patricks are on his eyes. He screams and runs around]
Sandy: [sighs, walks off] I'll go get the snow shovel.
[The camera pans upwards as it shows another tiny naked Patrick falling from the sky.]
Tiny Patrick: Whoo-hoo! [toots]