Hiccup Plague/transcript

This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "Hiccup Plague" from season 12, which aired on April 22, 2022.

[The episode begins at a tree house, where two kids are laughing.]
Timmy: [takes out a can of Fizz Bomb soda and drinks it, then burps] How's that, Tina?
Tina: No, Timmy, we want a hiccup. [holds some Spicy Kelp Chips] Try this!
[Tina puts some Spicy Kelp Chips in her mouth and gives some to Timmy. They both eat it, and then their faces light on fire and spin around. When they fall back to the ground, they hiccup, then the hiccup bubbles combine and Tina gets the jar to put the bubble in.]
Tina: Yes, we have created the worst case of hiccups in history! [laughs]
Timmy: This is gonna make a great prank.
[They release the hiccup bubble into Bikini Bottom, which is about to land on an old woman, but she unknowingly blows it away while blowing her nose.]
[The hiccup bubble then lands on SpongeBob while he's whistling and skipping down the street.]
SpongeBob: [laughs] It tickles! [hiccup] What was that? [hiccups while Tina and Timmy laugh]
[Later at the Krusty Krab, SpongeBob is still hiccuping as he opens the freezer. He gets a box of patties, which fly onto the grill as he hiccups. He laughs as he starts flipping the patties. He hiccups again, causing the patty to fly in the air, and again, this time bouncing the patty back onto the grill.]
SpongeBob: Oh, yeah.
[SpongeBob proceeds to use his hiccups to bounce the patties back and forth while flipping them.]
SpongeBob: Well, that's it.
[One of the patties fall to the floor, and the other patties fall in other places such as the deep fryer.]
SpongeBob: Oh, no!
Squidward: SpongeBob! Hurry up with that order! [gets patty on his eye and gets it off] Mr. Krabs! SpongeBob is up to more nonsense again! [gasps and avoids patties, and Incidental 41's Krabby Patty gets more Krabby Patties in until one patty knocks him out]
Mr. Krabs: [sighs] Two whole days without nonsense, [changes the two on the chalkboard to a zero] for a good run, Mr. Squidward. But we both knew it couldn't last. [enters kitchen] SpongeBob, what shenanigans are you up to now?
SpongeBob: [hiccups, then another patty hits the ceiling] I— [hiccup] hiccup— [hiccup] down with something, Mr. Kra— [hiccup]
Mr. Krabs: [laughs] You just got a case of the hiccups, son.
SpongeBob: Are they dangerous?
Mr. Krabs: No, of course not! And I [tucks his pants] have a foolproof hiccup cure. Using an old navy trick.
SpongeBob: "Old navy trick?" [gulps] Okay. Go for it.
Mr. Krabs: Boo.
SpongeBob: [has no reaction at first, then screams] Huh? I'm cured! [laughs but hiccups again]
Mr. Krabs: Eugh. This might be a tougher case than I thought. Why don't you go home and sleep it off? [patty falls from ceiling]
SpongeBob: Oh, but I don't wanna go... [hiccups one last time and the hiccup bubble comes out of SpongeBob and goes to Mr. Krabs]
Mr. Krabs: [shakes his head] Uh, sorry, boy-o. [slams door]
SpongeBob: Oh, stupid hiccups. [notices his hiccups are gone] Hey hey, they're gone! [whistles while walking away]
Mr. Krabs: [hiccups] Oh... hiccups. Hiccups are nothing to a old navy man like me. [hiccups and laughs while leaving the kitchen]
Mrs. Puff: Hello, Eugene. [pinches his cheek] How's my little Krabby-Wabby-Oooooh?
Mr. Krabs: Doing fine now that you're here, Puffykins. [hiccups, then covers mouth and hiccups while eyes pop out]
Mrs. Puff: Oh my! Are you alright?
Mr. Krabs: [muffles mouth and tells the truth] SpongeB— [hiccups] given me a case of— [hiccups] hiccups!
Mrs. Puff: Oh Eugene, hiccups aren't contagious. [kisses Mr. Krabs]
Mr. Krabs: [hiccups one last time and the hiccup bubble is out of Mr. Krabs and gets to Mrs. Puff, then he laughs] Me hiccups! They're gone! Oh your kisses are magical, Puff!
Mrs. Puff: Oh Eu- [hiccups] Dear me! I have to— [hiccups] powder my gills! [hiccups and enters bathroom] I got to get rid of these rotten hiccups before I pop! [hiccups and turns on sink to drink water]
Pearl: Oh hi Mrs.... Puff?
Mrs. Puff: Oh hello- [water comes out of her mouth, getting Pearl wet]
Pearl: Ohh... my pompoms!
Mrs. Puff: Oh, Pearl, I'm so sorry. [hiccups one last time and the hiccup bubble escapes from Mrs. Puff and gets to Pearl]
Pearl: [gasps and gets out of the bathroom]
Mrs. Puff: Oh! My hiccups. They've stopped.
Pearl: [does her cheerleading] Go... [hiccups] [spins] Team... [hiccups] Ugh! I can't cheer like this! [hiccups one last time and the hiccup bubble is out of Pearl] Rah rah rah! Go Pearl!
[The hiccup bubble heads toward a group of jellyfish and gets to them. The jellyfishes start to hiccup as they head toward Bikini Bottom. The Jellyfish hiccup one last time and the bubble gets to Bubble Bass, who is reading a comic book and drinking soda.]
Bubble Bass: [hiccups and spits out the kelp soda coming out of his nose, ruining his comic] No! That hiccup ruined my precious comic book!
Old Man Jenkins: [comes by] You call them hiccups? Ah! [pokes Bubble Bass with his cane] Back in my day, hiccups could turn a fella inside out. [Bubble Bass hiccups as his whole body turns inside out. Bubble Bass screams and runs away] Now that's what I call a hiccup.
[Bubble transition to Perch Perkins from the Bikini Bottom News.]
Perch Perkins: You won't believe this, folks. But there are reports of a contagious hiccup plague spreading throughout Bikini Bottom. [laughs] [Bubble Bass, still inside out, comes by, panicking]
Bubble Bass: The hiccup plague is real! Save yourselves! [hiccups one last time and the hiccup bubble comes out of him and into the mic as it goes into the cable by traveling toward the Chum Bucket]
Perch Perkins: So what do you think, folks? Is it real? [the hiccup goes in Karen's face]
Plankton: [doing an experiment, holding test tubes] Contagious hiccups? [scoffs] What a bunch of idiots.
Karen: Huh? [hiccups]
[Plankton gets the hiccups.]
Plankton: [hiccups, stammers, and then gets launched out of the Chum Bucket and then Patrick steps on him]
Plankton: Ow, watch it, you clod! [hiccups three times]
[Patrick picks up Plankton, who hiccups and spreads it to Patrick.]
Plankton: My hiccups! They're gone! [pokes Patrick] Now you have 'em! [runs away laughing as Patrick hiccups]
Patrick: Oh, no! [screams and runs around until he bumps into Squidward. He shakes Squidward] You gotta help me, Squidward. I've caught the hiccups! [he lets out the hiccup, and it spreads to Squidward]
Squidward: Huh? [slaps Patrick backward] You can't catch the hiccups, you nitwit.
[Patrick hides under a rock like a crab.]
Squidward: What [hiccups] an ignoramus. [hiccups] Huh? [hiccups repeatedly, then screams as he runs out onto the street]
[Bubble Bass, Mrs. Puff, and Pearl are walking along the street, as Squidward runs to them, who starts hiccuping repeatedly.]
Mrs. Puff: Squidward has the hiccups! Run for your lives!
The trio scream and run away from Squidward. Squidward hiccups and falls to the ground.]
Squidward: [hiccups] Must get rid of these hiccups.
SpongeBob: [taking Squidward's hand and lifting him up] I'll take them, Squidward.
Squidward: SpongeBob? [hiccups]
SpongeBob: [hugs Squidward] There, there.
Squidward: It's not [hiccups] working.
SpongeBob: You have to hug me back.
Squidward: [groans as he hesitantly tries to hug SpongeBob back]
SpongeBob: You have to mean it.
Squidward: [hugs SpongeBob, and releases the hiccup bubble]
SpongeBob: There you go. Come to me, little hiccup. [the bubble pops on top of him, making him hiccup]
Squidward: Thank you, SpongeBob!
SpongeBob: I need no thanks. [hiccups] It's enough to know my sacrifice [hiccups] will be remembered forever. [hiccups]
Squidward: I'm free! [runs away, cheering] Oh, yeah!
SpongeBob: [somberly] Goodbye, Squidward. Goodbye, Bikini Bottom. I'll take this hiccups where they won't harm anyone again. [hiccups and walks away]
[As SpongeBob continues hiccuping, Tina and Timmy laugh behind a mailbox. The scene bubble transitions to SpongeBob sitting on some coral, hiccuping. He takes out his lunchbox and grabs some grape juice. He tries to drink it, but hiccups again, sending him flying into the air and lands in Sandy's arms. Sandy is in a hazmat suit.]
Sandy: I've got you, SpongeBob.
SpongeBob: Stay away, Sandy! Or you'll catch these horrible hiccups! [hiccups]
Sandy: Aw, don't worry. In my new hazmat suit, I'm safer than a bowling ball in a pillow factory. Besides, I'm here to [pokes SpongeBob's nose] cure you of those darn hiccups. But first, I best put you in quarantine. [drops SpongeBob into a rolling trash can, and she pushes it along]
[Bubble transition to Sandy's treedome, where SpongeBob is in his own glass box. Patrick, Mrs. Puff, Squidward, Bubble Bass, Pearl, and Mr. Krabs are all watching him.]
SpongeBob: Oh, hey guys. [hiccups around the box]
[Sandy pushes an x-ray up to SpongeBob, which reveals the hiccup bubble stuck in his body.]
Sandy: Woo-wee! That is one industrial-strength hiccup! Don't you worry nun', we'll get it out.
Mr. Krabs: Step aside. This old navy man will take care of it. [holds an animal mask and puts it on; he approaches the box] Boo.
[After a delay, SpongeBob screams. He then hiccups and inflates to a giant size, scaring Mr. Krabs as well.]
Mrs. Puff: Try drinking water, upside down.
Pearl: [cheerleading] Try a cheer! [chuckles]
Bubble Bass: [pulls his tongue to reveal pickles under it, like in the "Pickles" episode] Put a pickle under your tongue.
Patrick: [mouth full] Try eating some Snail Po!
SpongeBob: Um, okay! [grabs a hose and fills himself with water, and tries to cover his holes as he still hiccups] [with pom-poms] Hip-hip! [hiccups and releases the pom-poms] [swallows a bunch of pickles from a jar, but releases them with a hiccup] [he pulls out a can of Snail Po as he hesitantly eats it] Blech. [meows; he hiccups and launches himself into the air and falls back down]
Sandy: Squidward? [everyone looks at Squidward]
Squidward: Huh? I got nothing.
Sandy: We'll have to treat it scientifically. [inserts her arms through two holes in the box] And tickle! [tickles SpongeBob, which eventually releases the hiccup bubble]
[The bubble travels through a tube, and it is released into the air.]
Everyone: Hooray!
SpongeBob: [weakly] Hooray.
[The bubble makes its way back into the treehouse, where the two kids are on the floor laughing. It pops.]
Timmy and Tina: Uh oh.
[The two kids start hiccuping themselves. The treehouse starts bouncing and the episode ends.]