High and Dry/transcript

This article is a transcript of the Kamp Koral: SpongeBob's Under Years episode "High and Dry/transcript" from season , which aired on .

[Patrick, SpongeBob, Elwood, and Sandy are all following Squidward.]
SpongeBob, Patrick, Sandy, and Elwood: [chanting while SpongeBob and Patrick leap over each other] We're going outta water! We're staying overnight! We're going outta water! We're staying overnight!
Squidward: [holds hand out] All right, everyone, pipe down and listen up.
SpongeBob: [as he and Patrick continue leaping over each other] We're going outta water!
Squidward: [yelling] What part of "pipe down and listen up" didn't you understand?
Patrick: The "down" part.
SpongeBob: Oh, and the "up" part, too. [Patrick falls down onto him]
Squidward: [groans] Well, if you wanna earn your out of water overnight badge, pay attention! When we step out of the water onto Bikini Top Island, we use a buddy system. Now, let's see. Hmm...
SpongeBob and Patrick: [looking excitedly at each other while giggling]
Squidward: [off-screen] Oh, no, that won't do. Oh, let's get [picks up Patrick and switches him and Elwood] you there. Okay, here we go. Alright, now, let's keep moving.
[They continue walking as jellyfish fly by.]
SpongeBob: Hey, Mr. Tentacles, how are we getting up to the island? Are we gonna take a catapult? Strap boing clams to our feet? [runs around Elwood and sits in the air] Chariots pulled by sea tigers?
Squidward: Nope. [pulls on a curtain to open them and reveal an elevator entrance, labeled "OUT OF ORDER"] We're talking the elevator. [sees the sign] Huh? Out of order? Typical. [gestures to the stairs nearby] I guess we're taking the stairs.
Elwood: Huh? Yay, stairs! [begins running up the stairs] Whoo-hoo! Yeah!
SpongeBob, Patrick, and Sandy: [begin running up the stairs] Yeah! [laughing]
Squidward: Oh, boy.
[Squidward begins running up the stairs. SpongeBob, Patrick, and Sandy are a story ahead of him, and Elwood is a story ahead of them. They all arrive at the top of the rock.]
Sandy: Hey, what are y'all stoppin' for?
SpongeBob: [looks to the surface] We've never been out of the water before. It's a little scary.
Sandy: [walks ahead of them] Well, that's my world up there. Trust me.
Patrick: [yells as he holds onto SpongeBob, both shivering]
Sandy: It's as safe as a toothless rattlesnake. So, helmet up, and let's get topside!
[SpongeBob and Elwood put on their water helmets. Patrick tries to put his on by hitting his face with it repeatedly. SpongeBob puts the helmet on his head properly.]
Patrick: [sighs]
All: [walk to the surface, gasp] Whoa.
SpongeBob: It's beautiful.
Sandy: Ooh, I've been waitin' all day to do this! [takes off her helmet to let out a green stench, fans the air] Whoo-ee, it's ripe in there. [butterflies flying nearby die from the stench]
Voice: You stink!
Squidward: [walks to the island, groaning, falls on the sand]
Campers: [laughing]
Squidward: [looks up] Huh?
Elwood: [pan over to him and SpongeBob as he trips over a rock and falls]
SpongeBob: I gotcha, buddy. [picks Elwood up from the ground]
Elwood: Thanks, buddy.
Patrick: [pan over to him and Sandy, leaf stuck on his helmet] Help, buddy!
Sandy: [holds the leaf] You're in buddy hands, buddy boy.
[Pan over to SpongeBob spraying Elwood's helmet with cleaning fluid, then uses a sponge to clean it.]
Elwood: Thanks, buddy! [laughs, then sprays SpongeBob's helmet with the fluid]
SpongeBob: [laughs]
Patrick: [pan over to him holding a leaf near a lounge chair] Please, take a load off, buddy.
Sandy: [lounges in the chair] Thanks, buddy.
Patrick: [fans Sandy with the leaf]
Campers: [jump in the air, hugging each other's buddies] Yay, buddy system!
Squidward: [sticks tongue out] Blech.
Campers: [overlapping dialogue, repeating "buddy" as they hold Squidward straight]
Squidward: Enough with the buddy! [holding a survival guide book] The survival guide says the first thing we should do is find a spot to set up a safe and sturdy camp.
Campers: [salute] Yes, sir, counselor Squidward! [run off, leaving Squidward sunk in the sand]
SpongeBob: Gotta find a good spot. [runs into some bushes]
Elwood: Up there! [jumps on a rock face-first]
Patrick: [lifts the rock, making Elwood fall off] What about down here? [drops the rock to let it fall onto his head] Not down here.
Squidward: [looking up at the sky] Huh? [in awe] Oh. [pulls out a lounge chair from his backpack, grabs a coconut drink, and hops into the chair] The perfect spot.
Sandy: Hey! Buddies! [digging in her backpack as the others arrive] Check this out. [pulls out a cube with a button] It's my latest invention. Instant [presses the button] home on the range. [the cube turns into a shelter and campfire]
SpongeBob, Patrick, and Elwood: Whoa!
SpongeBob: That's amazing, Sandy!
Sandy: [unzips the front door, no longer in her suit, giggles] Thanks.
Squidward: The survival guide says once your tent is set, [points away] forage for food. [lounges] So let's see what you pipsqueaks can muster up for me. [shakes head] Uh, I mean, us.
Sandy: Perfect. [moves back and forth] Now I get to scurry around in my natural habitat. [cracks knuckles, then begins yelling as she climbs and jumps on trees, laughing]
SpongeBob: [he, Patrick, and Elwood jump and cheer] Let's do it! [all take off]
Patrick: Food! [jumps on Squidward, trapping him in his chair]
Squidward: Thanks, buddies.
Sandy: [panting while climbing a tree, then spots a giant coconut on the tree] Ooh. Whoo-ee! They say everything is bigger in [points] Texas, but if'n that ain't the biggest coconut I ever did see. [kicks the coconut off] Hi-yah!
Squidward: [opening up his chair] I hope those idiots bring back something-- [gets crushed by the coconut]
Sandy: [lands on the coconut]
Squidward: [groans as his head emerges]
Sandy: Whoops. Sorry, Mr. Tentacles. But some [taps coconut with her foot] tasty coconut meat oughta make you feel better. [raises her arm to chop the coconut] Hi--
Patrick: Wait! [pan over to him emerging from the bushes] I'll just crack it open with this [holds up an egg] weird rock I found! [yells as he leaps to hit the coconut with the egg, but gets stopped mid-air by Sandy]
Sandy: [arms out] Stop! That's an [points] egg!
Patrick: [hits the coconut with the egg anyway, which cracks] No. It's egg-shaped. [raises the egg to hit the coconut again, and the top half flies into the air along with a boiled egg]
Sandy: [off-screen] Oh, no!
SpongeBob: Sorry, everybody. I couldn't find anything except this non-stick pan. [the boiled egg lands in his pan, which he flips] Whoop. Over easy good for everyone?
[A boiled egg slides across the screen as the scene changes to everyone around the campfire with plates of scrambled eggs.]
Elwood: Ah.
Patrick: [tries to eat his scrambled eggs, but it splatters on his helmet] Aw.
SpongeBob: Uhh.
Patrick: [jumping] Stupid life-saving helmet!
Sandy: [points] I gotcha covered, buddy. [grabs some scrambled eggs, opens up everyone's helmets, then rubs the scrambled eggs to put it in everyone's helmets like fish food]
All except Sandy: [inhale to eat the scrambled eggs like fish]
Patrick: [begins licking everyone else's scrambled eggs, then swings Squidward around with his tongue]
[Bubble transition to the island at night.]
Squidward: [off-screen] Lights out.
SpongeBob: [off-screen] Night, buddy.
Patrick: [off-screen] Sleep tight, buddy.
Elwood: [off-screen] Sweet dreams, buddy.
Sandy: [off-screen] See ya in the mornin', buddy.
SpongeBob: [off-screen] Not if I see you f--
Squidward: [off-screen] Shut up and go to sleep!
[The moon goes down, and the sun goes up on the opposite side. SpongeBob and Elwood are building a sand pagoda, and Squidward is in his lounge chair.]
Sandy: [stretches, sighs]
Patrick: [partly unzips the door] Did anyone bring shampoo?
Seagull: [heard screaming, getting everyone's attention]
All: Huh?
Seagull: [flies over the island, screams as it dives towards the campers]
All: [scream as Sandy tackles them to dodge the seagull]
Sandy: [pushes everyone inside the shelter as the seagull continues flying around]
SpongeBob: [fearfully holding Squidward, who is in a sleeping bag] What is that thing?
Squidward: [emerges from sleeping bag] And why is it after us?
Sandy: [looking through the door window] I reckon it looks like a gull. But I don't know why. [sees Patrick eating scrambled eggs, gasps] That [points] egg Patrick found must've belonged to it!
Squidward: [sweating] What are we gonna do now?
SpongeBob: Look in your survival guide, Mr. Tentacles.
Squidward: [gets out his survival guide and flips through it] "How to escape from a crazy seagull that has you trapped in a tent." Huh, oddly specific. [the book's pages are shown with an illustration of a seagull screaming at a frightened turtle] "Tip One: The frightened turtle pulls its [on the other page, there is an illustration of seagull flying away as the turtle is hiding in its shell] head into its shell. Hide under something sturdy."
Sandy: Don't worry, buddies. I got an idea. [unzips the front door, looks around with her arm, and cracks open a coconut with it] Hi-yah! [opens up the coconut to reveal a muscular ant showering in it]
Ant: [screams, closes curtains]
[Everyone exits the tent with the coconut half over themselves.]
Squidward: This oughta fool that dumb bird.]
Seagull: [screams]
SpongeBob and Squidward: Huh? [whimper as the seagull is inside the coconut]
Seagull: [squawks]
Campers and Squidward: [yell and run back inside the tent]
Squidward: [flipping through the survival guide] "Escape Tip Two: [illustration of a worm scared of a seagull] The scaredy worm skirts the bird. [illustration of a confused seagull near a hole] Dig a tunnel."
Patrick: [gets up] Don't worry, guys. I got this. [pulls on his tongue to turn himself into a drill] Follow me! [drills into the ground]
Squidward: We are doomed.
[Cut to a shot of asphalt, of which Patrick drills up to. He looks up to see humans walking in the city, with a crosswalk nearby.]
Patrick: [screams, covers the hole with dirt before a woman's shoe steps over the dirt, re-emerges in the tent] There's some scary stuff down there!
Squidward: [mumbling while flipping through pages] Ah. [illustration of a sheep being carried by a seagull] "Tip Three: A lamb takes one for the flock." Ah. We need a sacrifi-- [shakes head] I mean, decoy, to feed that bird away from the rest of the group. Okay. [holds out straws] Short straw is the decoy.
[Everyone each pulls out a straw.]
Elwood: [raising straw] I won!
Squidward: [partly unzips door, shoving Elwood outside] Yep, you sure did. Now, don't forget to [points down] zig-zag. [re-enters tent]
Elwood: [running in a straight line] Zig-zag. Zig-zag. Zig-zag. Zig-zag. [gets carried away by the seagull, screams]
Patrick: I don't think he did a zag.
Squidward: [screaming] Run for it!
All except Elwood: [run out of the tent to leave the island, then all except SpongeBob dive for the water]
SpongeBob: [gets in front of them] Wait a minute! [the others fall] I can't leave without my buddy! We have to go back and get him!
Squidward: Well, let's just take a vote on it. All in favor of leaving Elwood to his fate--
[The others run back.]
Squidward: [looks behind] Typical.
Sandy: [picks up a piece of wood and yells]
SpongeBob: [yells while holding a frying pan]
Patrick: [swings a sausage weapon while eating a hot dog]
Squidward: You had hot dogs this whole time?
Patrick: These are battle dogs, not dinner dogs.
Squidward: [growls]
Elwood: [off-screen] Woo! Woo!
All: Huh?
Seagull: [squawks on top of a tree]
Elwood: Woo! Woo! Woo!
Sandy: [jumps onto the tree] Grab a hold, buddies!
[SpongeBob grabs onto Sandy, Patrick grabs onto SpongeBob, and Patrick pulls Squidward with him.]
Squidward: Huh? [screams as they go up the tree and spot the seagull with Elwood]
Elwood: [being poked by the seagull] Woo! Woo!
Sandy: [gasps]
SpongeBob: [raising frying pan] Stop eating my buddy's face! [screams as he goes over to hit the seagull on the behind]
Seagull: [looks behind with a makeup brush in its mouth]
SpongeBob: [stammers] What?
Elwood: Woo! [raises his head to reveal he has makeup on] This is fun!
SpongeBob, Patrick, Sandy, and Squidward: Huh?
Seagull: [caws] Hello. I'm Dana Dinsmore. [finger guns] Today's your lucky day. I'm about to change your life. [uses her wing to move everyone into her nest] Right this way, right this way. No pushing, there's room for everyone. [walks off]
Elwood: Hi, buddies. You just gotta try the new fall color.
Dana: [in front of several makeup boxes] You look a bit pale, but let's face it: everyone goes through problems with their skin. [holding Squidward] Do you mind helping out with the demonstration, hon? [grabs Squidward, leaving his helmet; sits him on a box]
Squidward: [gasps for air]
Dana: Here's what I'm talking about.
[Close-up of Squidward's dried out appearance.]
Dana: [off-screen] The bags, the sags, the crinkles, the wrinkles, the sacks, the cracks. [Squidward's nose breaks off]
Patrick: Huh? I see it. [points] He's hideous.
Dana: But you won't when you start using [holds box] Avion Cosmetics. Whether you got feathers and beaks or scales and gills, Avion's breathable formula will have you on your way to the fabulous glowing radiant skin everyone wants.
SpongeBob, Patrick, and Sandy: Ooh.
Dana: Avion goes on quick, and lasts all day. 'Cause who has time to reapply, [winks] am I right, girlfriends?
SpongeBob, Patrick, Sandy, and Elwood: [laugh]
Squidward: [weakly reaches out arm] Help. [chokes himself, turning various different colors and patterns, then disintegrates into ashes as his eyeballs drop]
[Bubble transition to the campers and Squidward walking up to Mr. Krabs, who is nailing a poster to a pole with a hammer.]
All except Mr. Krabs: [laughing]
Mr. Krabs: I see you all survived your goin' outta water stayin' over night excursion. Wait a second. [screams as he notices everyone is wearing makeup while holding Avion boxes]
SpongeBob: You know, camp master Krabs, you look a little pale.
Sandy: Well, today is your lucky day.
Patrick: Our Avion Cosmetics line will change your life forever.
Elwood: How about a little [holds up a makeup brush with blush] red for those cheeks?
Mr. Krabs: But I'm already red! [shelters his face with his claws] No! [his scream is seen shaking the ground from the island]