I'm Urchin You to Leave/transcript

This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants Kamp Koral: SpongeBob's Under Years short "I'm Urchin You to Leave," which aired on July 13, 2021.

[A shot of a sign reading "Camp Coral" is shown. Mr. Krabs' hand comes up and nails "K"s over the "C"s. Text appears, reading "A Kamp Koral Short created by Stephen Hillenburg." The title card appears. A shot of Kamp Koral zooms in to a cabin. Squidward wakes up peacefully, and sees SpongeBob and Patrick leaning over him.]
SpongeBob and Patrick: Good morning, Mr. Tentacles!
Squidward: [sits up] Wh-wh-what-what's happening!?
SpongeBob: We were just wondering what kind of exciting day you had planned for us!
Squidward: The kind of exciting day where [points to SpongeBob] you leave [points to himself] me alone! Besides, [points] didn't I tell you not to set foot in here?
SpongeBob: Oh, don't worry! We left them outside!
[He and Patrick shake their legs to show nubs at the end. Their feet are outside Squidward's room. Patrick's left foot falls over.]
Squidward: [growls] Go find someone your own IQ to play with!
[He grabs them and carries them out of the room.]
Patrick: That sounds awesome! [to SpongeBob] What's IQ?
Squidward: Just go!
[Squidward extends his leg to push them towards the door. He uses his foot to open it, then pushes them outside. They see an urchin on the ground outside.]
SpongeBob: Ooh, look, Patrick! A cute little urchin! [takes out bag of candy] Let's lure him into the cabin with some candy!
[SpongeBob places candies on the ground inside the cabin. Patrick is on his back and licking them up. SpongeBob notices and stands up, knocking Patrick onto the ground. Patrick sticks his tongue out and eats a candy out of SpongeBob's hand.]
SpongeBob: Patrick, that candy was for the urchin!
Patrick: [mouth full] Sorry, SpongeBob! [spits out candies]
[The candies form a trail to the cabin's entrance. The urchin notices and eats one.]
SpongeBob: Oh! Perfect!
[The urchin eats the candies, up to SpongeBob and Patrick staring and smiling at it. It eats their pupils and burps.]
SpongeBob and Patrick: [laughing]
[Bubble transition to the outside of the cabin, then cut to the inside.]
SpongeBob: [clapping hands] Alright, Patrick! Let's see your fastball!
Patrick: [holding urchin] Okay!
[Patrick throws the urchin in SpongeBob's face, knocking him over. He is pinned to the wall with the urchin stuck on his hand.]
Patrick: Hey, he's stuck! [laughing]
[He and SpongeBob laugh. Squidward sneezes loudly, knocking the urchin off the wall.]
Squidward: [peeking out of door and looking around] Is there an urchin in here? [rubs nose] My allergies are kicking up.
[SpongeBob and Patrick stare in shock, the urchin visible. Patrick sits on the urchin.]
SpongeBob: [with a nervous smile] We don't see any urchins, Mr. Tentacles!
Patrick: [grimacing in pain] But I sure feel one.
Squidward: What?
Patrick: I--
SpongeBob: [grabs Patrick's mouth] Nothing!
Squidward: [sketpical] Hmm. Mmm-hmmm. [closes door]
[Patrick stands up and reveals the urchin on his butt, making SpongeBob react in disgust. SpongeBob pulls the urchin off, and Patrick yells in pain.]
Urchin: [noises]
SpongeBob: Sorry, little buddy, but you've gotta go.
[The urchin jumps off SpongeBob's hand and skitters behind a shelf.]
Patrick: We're too fun! He doesn't wanna leave!
[SpongeBob takes out the bag of candy and places one to lure the urchin out.]
SpongeBob: [whispering] Come on, little Urchie!
[The urchin begins eating the candies. SpongeBob leads it to the door.]
SpongeBob: [whispering] Come on! That's it! Just one more step!
[The urchin slams the door in SpongeBob and Patrick's faces and eats the rest of the candy. When the door opens, SpongeBob and Patrick's faces are smashed flat. The urchin goes under the bed.]
SpongeBob: He's going under the bed!
Patrick: [nervous noises, pointing] That's where the Boogerman lives!
SpongeBob: Don't be afraid, Patrick! [takes out and activates flashlight] I have a flashlight!
[SpongeBob goes under the bed, and Patrick follows. Clouds of dust come out. When they exit, they are covered in socks and dust, resembling dogs.]
SpongeBob: Nope! He's not in there!
Patrick: [coughs up dust] Let's check the rest of the cabin!
[SpongeBob and Patrick hurriedly dig through chests.]
Patrick: Urchin!
SpongeBob: Urchin, where are you!?
[Squidward's door bangs. He comes out and rubs his eyes.]
Squidward: Are you sure there's no urchins in here?
Patrick: I'm not sure about anything!
[SpongeBob and Patrick's eyes bug out as they see the urchin above Squidward's room. It blows a raspberry. Squidward shuts his door. SpongeBob pushes Patrick up to the urchin.]
Patrick: I'll get the urchin!
[He pushes a bunch of luggage on SpongeBob, who comes out of a box.]
Patrick: [whispering] I see him, SpongeBob?
SpongeBob: [whispering] Just move towards him very slowly.
Patrick: [whispering] Got it.
[Patrick lunges towards the urchin. It dives into a hole and escapes. SpongeBob and Patrick scream.]
SpongeBob: [knocks on Squidward's door] Uh, Mr. Tentacles?
[Squidward comes out. His head is covered in welts and tissues are sticking out of his nose.]
Squidward: What could you possibly want?
SpongeBob: [nervously] I just want you to know that we haven't got any urchins yet, and that I-- [looks surprised]
[The urchin is on Squidward's head, and Patrick is prepared to hit it with a hammer.]
Squidward: Can't you make this quick? All day, my head's been aching... [continues]
[Patrick nods. SpongeBob gestures rapidly to Patrick to not hit the urchin.]
Squidward: ...my nose won't stop running... and it-- Wait. [to Patrick] What are you looking at?
Patrick: Hold still.
[Patrick swings the hammer. Squidward screams and runs away. Patrick falls down. SpongeBob chases after him, holding a bottle of lotion.]
SpongeBob: Mr. Tentacles! I've got the calamine lotion!
Patrick: [chasing, holding candy] I've got candy! But I'm probably going to eat it myself! [shuts door]
[As SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward scream outside, the urchin goes into Squidward's room and settles into bed. Squidward sneezes loudly.]
Urchin: Gesundheit! [falls asleep]