Mascot Mayhem/transcript

This article is a transcript of the Kamp Koral: SpongeBob's Under Years episode "Mascot Mayhem/transcript" from season , which aired on .

• [At camp, some campers are playing with a frisbee. One of them gets knocked away.]
• Perch: [over loudspeaker] Attention, Koral campers, today's tryouts for the Kamp Koral mascot, Bitey the Sea Bear, [drops a banner with the words "BITEY THE BEAR" down the watchtower, crushing a camper] will be held in the Clamphitheater. Come audition for your chance to lead the cheers at tonight's [waves pom poms] big game!
• SpongeBob: [leaves a tent placed near the Clamphitheater] Oh, boy. I camped out [stretches] all night just so I'd be first in line to [wrings himself] try out. [spins around, stretches back] Being camp's mascot [pulls out a photo of SpongeBob sitting on Bitey the Sea Bear's lap while a kid points and cries] has been my dream ever since my first summer at camp. [puts away photo] I'm a shoe-in, this is definitely my year.
• Patrick: [off-screen] What a coincidence. [the tent raises to reveal him underneath] It's definitely my year, too. [jumps off the tent]
• SpongeBob: Patrick, you want to be camp mascot?
• Patrick: It's been my dream ever since I heard Perch announce it a few seconds ago.
• SpongeBob: Wow! Who would've thought? Two best friends with the same exact dream. But that's okay, right? Nothing will ever become between us.
• SpongeBob and Patrick: [hug each other] Aww. [handshake] May the best camper win.
• Bubble Bass: [leaning against the "Line Starts Here" sign] Oh, he will. It just won't be [points] either of you two numbskulls.
• SpongeBob: Numbskulls? [the frisbee comes down to hit him and Patrick] What do you mean?
• Bubble Bass: [taps his head] It takes brains to mascot, [points] and you weren't even smart enough to set your tent up at the front of the line.
• SpongeBob and Patrick: [look past Bubble Bass] Huh?
• [A very long line is seen behind Bubble Bass.]
• Cheerleader: Yay!
• Bubble Bass: Enjoy going last, losers. [laughs like a horse]
• SpongeBob: [groans as he and Patrick trudge to the back]
• [Bubble transition to the Clamphitheater, where Bitey the Sea Bear's costume is in a glass case. Mr. Krabs and Mrs. Puff are sitting behind the stage as judges.]
• Mr. Krabs: [groans, reading clipboard] Let's see. Bubble Bass, you're up.
• Bubble Bass: [hums as he walks onstage] Thank you, thank you. Today, I shall be performing the Sinister Slug's monologue, [takes out a comic book] from Mermaid Man Issue #27.
• Mr. Krabs: [holding up a sign that says "BOO!"] Boo!
• Bubble Bass: [holds up three swords] While juggling swords.
• Mr. Krabs: Ooh, [flips sign so it reads "UN-BOO!"] un-boo.
• Bubble Bass: [retracts his arms and lets his tongue drop onto him, giving him the shape of Sinister Slug, then begins to juggle swords with his legs] You think your common table salt can defeat me, Mermaid Man? [accidentally tosses a sword into the air, making them hit his butt and fly towards Mr. Krabs] Yow!
• Mr. Krabs: [gasps and ducks to dodge the swords]
• Mrs. Puff: Hmm! [using megaphone] Next!
• Bubble Bass: [laughs nervously before a cane takes him away, leaving his glasses]
• Anchovy: [walks onstage] Meep.
• Mr. Krabs: That seems good enough. [gets out of his seat and starts walking] If we pick him, he can leave early.
• Mrs. Puff: But he can't lead the cheers. All he ever says is--
• Anchovy: Meep.
• Mr. Krabs: Meep rhymes with meep if you ask meep, but-- Oh, fine. [gets back in his seat] Next!
• Big Roxie: [as she flips over Little Roxie] Let's do this!
• Little Roxie: Whoa!
• [They lose balance, and Big Roxie falls onto Little Roxie.]
• Mrs. Puff: [off-screen, using megaphone] Next.
• Tall Tail: [dances onstage, making the ground shake]
• Mrs. Puff: [screams as she and Mr. Krabs' seats jump rapidly, and she inflates]
• Blue anchovy: Meep.
• Mr. Krabs: Wait. Didn't this guy go already?
• Mrs. Puff: [pointing away] I think they're all auditioning separately.
• Mr. Krabs: [gasps as the camera pans over to a long line of anchovies]
• Anchovies: [meeping]
• Mr. Krabs: [groans and grabs his face]
• French Narrator: [narrating time card] Many meeps later...
• Blue anchovy: [singing] ♪ Meep! ♪ [yells as he gets taken away by a cane]
• Mr. Krabs: [mumbling while slumping in his seat]
• Mrs. Puff: [sips coffee] Next! [tosses mug]
• SpongeBob and Patrick: [run onstage and notice each other at the same time]
• SpongeBob: Oh, [bows] pardon me.
• Patrick: [waves hand] Oh, no, no. After you.
• Mr. Krabs: Will one of yous just hurry up and go already?
• SpongeBob: Say, what if we both auditioned at the same time?
• SpongeBob and Patrick: [shout with glee as they skip to the stage together]
• SpongeBob: [takes off his eyes to reveal a boombox in his head, which he puts on the floor and turns on; he dances to the music and poses]
• Mrs. Puff: Oh! Camper SpongeBob definitely has the moves!
• Patrick: Huh? [looks at his arms, then begins dancing, making his pants fall down, then trips on them] Whoa! [falls over]
• Mr. Krabs: [gasps, laughs, wipes tears] But camper Patrick has the comedy chops. Ooh, this is a close one. [laughs]
• Mrs. Puff: [using megaphone] Top notch mascoting, boys. We'll do another round of auditions to see which one of you gets it.
• Mr. Krabs: [falls over in his chair, still laughing]
• SpongeBob and Patrick: [hold each other] Yay!
• [The scene fades to SpongeBob and Patrick still holding each other, except now there is an obstacle course ahead of them.]
• SpongeBob and Patrick: Huh?
• Mr. Krabs: [he and Mrs. Puff each put a sandbag on SpongeBob and Patrick] All right, boys. These sandbags should mimic the weight of the mascot costume. [Patrick falls over, and he picks him up]
• Mrs. Puff: [blows whistle]
• SpongeBob and Patrick: [scream]
• Mr. Krabs: Now get going!
• [SpongeBob and Patrick run and jump into the mud. SpongeBob hops along the tires, while Patrick moves like one, and gets stuck inside a tire as SpongeBob moves ahead. Patrick falls over. Then, SpongeBob hits the climbing wall and climbs it, managing to get on top. He jumps into the air, but his sandbag pulls him down to the ground. Patrick breaks through the wall, making it fall onto SpongeBob.]
• Mr. Krabs: [using megaphone] Good work! [puts away megaphone] Now for the cheerin'. [shoots a dart gun] Gimme a K-A-M!
• SpongeBob and Patrick: [dodging the darts on the ropes; SpongeBob swings past and Patrick gets tangled] K-A-M!
• Mr. Krabs: [shooting more darts] Gimme a P-K-O!
• SpongeBob and Patrick: [climbing the monkey bars, dodging darts] P-K-O!
• SpongeBob: [detaches from his arms, falling down] Whoa!
• Mr. Krabs: [shooting more darts] Gimme a R-A-L!
• SpongeBob and Patrick: [climbing below a barbed platform] R-A-L!
• Mr. Krabs: [off-screen] What's that spell?
• SpongeBob: [runs off] Kamp Koral!
• Patrick: [lifts his head] Krump Florp! [his head gets sliced]
• Mr. Krabs: I can't hear you! [aims at SpongeBob and Patrick as they jump off a ramp]
• SpongeBob and Patrick: Kamp Koral!
• Mr. Krabs: [giggles as he hits SpongeBob and Patrick in the air, making them fall and roll past the finish line]
• SpongeBob: [he and Patrick are wearing different shirts] Hmm. [he and Patrick take off the shirts]
• Mrs. Puff: Hmm. I guess we'll have to flip a coin. [flips a quarter into the air]
• Mr. Krabs: [takes the quarter] Ooh. [puts away the quarter] Free quarter. Hee-hee.
• Mrs. Puff: [groans and glares at Mr. Krabs]
• Mr. Krabs: Oh, um... [scratches face, shrugs] And SpongeBob wins.
• SpongeBob, Patrick, and Mrs. Puff: [gasp]
• Mr. Krabs: [pats SpongeBob] Congratulations, boy-o. [walks away with Mrs. Puff as Patrick has an angry express]
• SpongeBob: [sighs happily] I did it. I did it! [holds out arm] Patrick, it was an honor to compete against a best friend like you. [Patrick slaps away his arm, gasps]
• Patrick: I have no best friend! [stomps away]
• SpongeBob: Oh, we're still on for lunch, right?
• Patrick: [pops his head in] You betcha!
• [Bubble transition to the stadium at night.]
• Perch: [over loudspeaker] Good evening, and welcome to Kamp Koral's big game!
• SpongeBob: [in mascot costume without head] Oh, gosh, camp master Krabs. I didn't realize how many people would be here. I'm nervous to perform in front of all of 'em.
• Mr. Krabs: Ah, don't worry, lad. They're not here for you. [holds out hot dogs] They're here for the free hot dogs!
• Hot dog vendor: [calling out in the audience with hot dogs] Hot dogs! Get your free hot dogs here--
• [The campers all pull out eating utensils and attack the vendor, making hot dogs fall near SpongeBob.]
• Hot dog vendor: [screaming]
• SpongeBob: Thanks, I feel so much better. [ketchup gets on his face] Huh? [licks face] Hmm, mostly ketchup.
• Mr. Krabs: [puts mascot head onto SpongeBob, then spins it into place]
• SpongeBob: [raises arms] I'm ready! [walks off as Mr. Krabs waves]
• Perch: [over microphone] Ladies and gentlefish, put your fins together for Kamp Koral's very own Bitey the Sea Bear!
• SpongeBob: [dances in place]
• Crowd: [cheers]
• SpongeBob: [chanting, jumps] Who's ready? Okay! [does a cartwheel] Kamp Koral is here to play today! Who's watching? [jumps into the air] Can't say! [holds pom poms] It's hard to see out this mask, okay? [yelps and drops pom poms as green fireworks go off]
• Perch: [over microphone] What's that? [someone gives him a note] Campers, someone has just handed me a card. It appears we have a mascot challenger.
• Campers: Huh? [their bleachers get hit away by the outhouse driving a motorcycle; they drop down in a pyramid formation and cheer]
• Girl: [falls to the ground]
• Outhouse: [riding on his motorcycle]
• Perch: [over loudspeaker] Give it up for Outie the Outhouse!
• Outie: [jumps off his motorcycle, flips, and wiggles his arms]
• Crowd: [chanting] Outie! Outie! Outie! Outie! Outie! Outie!
• Outie: [shoots toilet paper rolls at the crowd]
• Crowd: [cheering]
• Outie: [twirls a plunger, spins around, and tosses it to try to catch it, and gets hit by it to reveal Patrick inside]
• SpongeBob: [gasps]
• Patrick: Oh, uh-oh. [shuts the outhouse door]
• SpongeBob: Patrick? [takes off one of Outie's arms and sticks his head inside] Patrick, what are you doing? I'm supposed to be the mascot here.
• Patrick: Uh, sorry, SpongeBob. I couldn't take losing lying down, so after a nice long nap, I decided to take matters into my own hands. Besides, I already have a line of [points away] adoring fans.
• Campers: [holding in their bladders while waiting in line for the outhouse]
• Orange camper: Could you hurry up in there? I gotta go.
• SpongeBob: All right, Patrick. [points] You think you can out-mascot me, eh? Top this. [retracts his head and dances]
• Crowd: [cheering]
• SpongeBob: [finishes dancing, gestures at Patrick]
• Patrick: Okay, well, watch this! [rapidly moves his feet, falling over and knocking the campers down like bowling pins]
• Crowd: [laughing]
• Outie: [wiggles arms]
• SpongeBob: [moves his butt as Outie falls over, then rapidly spins on his head; stops when the lights turn off] Huh?
• Patrick: [the outhouse door opens to reveal him in a rock costume playing a Goofy Goober guitar]
• Crowd: [gasps, then cheers as they put on wigs and begin headbanging]
• Patrick: [playing guitar]
• SpongeBob: [gasps] Ah. Two can play that song. [hyper-extends his arms to reach into a jellyfish hive and grab some jellyfish, making a sea bear follow; he makes the jellyfish surround him, cracks his knuckles, and begins playing them like drums]
• Crowd: [cheering]
• Patrick: [still playing guitar, gasps, then extends his arm to turn it into a hand to continue playing guitar, showing realistic fingers]
• Crowd: [cheering]
• Pink camper: Oh, yeah! [skin melts to reveal his skeleton]
• SpongeBob and Patrick: [continue playing guitar and drums]
• SpongeBob: [laughs, splatters jellyfish jelly on his costume]
• Sea bear: Ooh! [licks lips, grabs utensils]
• [As SpongeBob and Patrick continue performing, yellow fireworks appear.]
• SpongeBob: Whoo! Whoo!
• Crowd: [cheering]
• SpongeBob and Patrick: [cheering as they dance in place]
• Sea bear: [snatches SpongeBob and begins licking him]
• SpongeBob: [laughing] Help, help! I'm too delicious!
• Patrick: [jumps in the air to tackle the sea bear]
• Crowd: [gasps]
• [Patrick in the outhouse and the sea bear turn into a fighting cloud.]
• Sea bear: [roars as Patrick grabs his leg]
• [The fighting cloud reappears.]
• Sea bear: [punching the outhouse]
• [The fighting cloud reappears again.]
• Sea bear: [punches the outhouse, then gets knocked over by the door opening]
• Patrick: [pulls the sea bear inside as the two fight; the sea bear gets ejected, flipped over and covered in toilet paper]
• Crowd: [cheers]
• Patrick: I did it! I win!
• SpongeBob: [takes off mascot head] Patrick, you saved me from that sea bear.
• Patrick: That was a sea bear? I thought that was you. [points]
• SpongeBob: Nope.
• Patrick: [notices the sea bear, gasps]
• Mr. Krabs: [tosses the sea bear out of the way] Ho-ho! [puts his claw around the outhouse] Just listen to that crowd reaction! The kids have spoken. Say hello to the new Kamp Koral mascot, [holds Outie's arm] Outie the Outhouse!
• Crowd: [cheers]
• SpongeBob: Congratulations, buddy. Long live Outie the Outhouse. [reaches out to give Patrick a handshake]
• Patrick: Thanks, buddy. [stomach grumbles, rubs belly] Now if you'll excuse me, I have some business to take care of.
• SpongeBob: [salutes and walks away]
• Patrick: [shuts the door, toilet flushes] Anyone have any toilet paper?
• Crowd: [cheers, throws rolls of toilet paper at Outie]