Movie Etiquette/transcript
This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants Theatrical short "Movie Etiquette," which aired on May 24, 2019.
Movie version
- [The Nickelodeon logo appears in front of Bikini Atoll. The camera pans below the water, where the Reef Cinema is showing a film called "A Sea Star Is Born."]
- French Narrator: Ah, ze cinema. A magical place for all to enjoy, so long as we follow a few simple rules.
- Squidward: [hums and walks into the theater. He sees an open seat] Oh! Ah.
- SpongeBob: Oh, hi, Squidward!
- Squidward: Grr...
- French Narrator: In case of emergency, always take a moment to locate your nearest exit...
- [Patrick slams the exit door on an usher.]
- French Narrator: And try to find your seat before the film begins.
- Patrick: Excuse me! [sits near Squidward]
- Squidward: Huh? [grumbles angrily]
- French Narrator: Please do not disrupt the film for others. This means no gum chewing.
- [Patrick loudly chews gum and blows a bubble in Squidward's face.]
- French Narrator: No bouncing.
- [SpongeBob bounces up and down on his seat, annoying Squidward.]
- French Narrator: No armrest hogging.
- [Patrick hogs the armrest, intruding on Squidward's space.]
- French Narrator: No jellyfishing.
- [A jellyfish swims by. SpongeBob catches it and Squidward in his jellyfishing net. It zaps Squidward, and he screams.]
- SpongeBob: Whoops! Sorry!
- French Narrator: No hamboning.
- Patrick: Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh! [slaps his knees and chest]
- French Narrator: No gargling.
- SpongeBob: [loudly gargles in front of Squidward]
- French Narrator: No play fighting.
- [SpongeBob and Patrick play-fight with each other.]
- Squidward: [shouting] Sit down and stop ruining my night off!
- [A larger, muscular usher grabs Squidward and clenches his head real tight.]
- French Narrator: And of course, no talking.
- [The usher takes Squidward out of the theater. SpongeBob and Patrick shrug.]
- SpongeBob: Enjoy the movie, Patrick!
- Patrick: Shh! You're talking!
Musical version
- [The Nickelodeon logo appears in front of Bikini Atoll. The camera pans below the water, where the Reef Cinema is showing a film called "The SpongeBob Musical."]
- French Narrator: Ah, ze theater. A magical place for all to enjoy, so long as we follow a few simple rules.
- Squidward: [hums and walks into the theater. He sees an open seat] Oh! Ah.
- SpongeBob: Oh, hi, Squidward!
- Squidward: Grr...
- French Narrator: In case of emergency, always take a moment to locate your nearest exit...
- [Patrick slams the exit door on an usher.]
- French Narrator: And try to find your seat before the show begins.
- Patrick: Excuse me! [sits near Squidward]
- Squidward: Huh? [grumbles angrily]
- French Narrator: Please do not disrupt the show for others. This means no gum chewing.
- [Patrick loudly chews gum and blows a bubble in Squidward's face.]
- French Narrator: No bouncing.
- [SpongeBob bounces up and down on his seat, annoying Squidward.]
- French Narrator: No armrest hogging.
- [Patrick hogs the armrest, intruding on Squidward's space.]
- French Narrator: No jellyfishing.
- [A jellyfish swims by. SpongeBob catches it and Squidward in his jellyfishing net. It zaps Squidward, and he screams.]
- SpongeBob: Whoops! Sorry!
- French Narrator: No hamboning.
- Patrick: Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh! [slaps his knees and chest]
- French Narrator: No gargling.
- SpongeBob: [loudly gargles in front of Squidward]
- French Narrator: No play fighting.
- [SpongeBob and Patrick play-fight with each other.]
- Squidward: [shouting] Sit down and stop ruining my night off!
- [A larger, muscular usher grabs Squidward and clenches his head real tight.]
- French Narrator: And of course, no talking.
- [The usher takes Squidward out of the theater. SpongeBob and Patrick shrug.]
- SpongeBob: Enjoy the musical, Patrick!
- Patrick: Shh! You're talking!