Nicktoons: Attack of the Toybots/transcript

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Transcript

Introduction

The Biggest Genius' Host: Welcome back! Inside The Biggest Genius's sound-proof Diary Closet, Professor Calamitous will reveal to us how he intends to use tonight's 3 theme ingredients.
Professor Calamitous: Two. Two. Is this thing on? Seen what happens when Fairies eat too many Krabby Patties? They create Magical Gas. Who would've guessed? Just perfect for the creation of my VAST ARMY OF EVIL TOYS! Mwahaha! Powered by Ghost Energy, my evil army will be led by evil toy duplicates of goody two-shoes heroes. My robot minions grab the best hero from every dimension and then scan them to create an evil "master model." Then we send them back home none the wiser. Mwahahaha!--
The Biggest Genius' Host: Krabby Patties, Fairies and Ghost Energy. How will our contestant's hero duplicates turn out?
Professor Calamitous: I prefer the term "perfect evil sidekicks.""
The Biggest Genius' Host: Will these sidekicks be better than the original?
Professor Calamitous: Yes, of course they will.
The Biggest Genius' Host: Will the professor shave off his ridiculous mustache?
Professor Calamitous: Never! No! Not in a million years! You mean... you don't like it?
The Biggest Genius' Host: Will the most miniscule contestant become tonight's Biggest Genius?
Professor Calamitous: I am not here to lose, so why not just give me the title now! Ha! There's two of them out of the contest already. Mwahahaha!
Announcer: It appears that we're experiencing technical difficulties. We'll be right back after the break.

Dialogue 1

SpongeBob: Here's your Krabby Patty take out order, guys. All 3,000,287 of them. Each one of these scrump-dillyicious Krabby Patty have been made lovingly by me.
Patrick: OOH! And I did the washing up.
SpongeBob: Are you guys having a party? A few hundred friends coming over to stay for a year or two? (The Toybot is sucking up Krabby Patties from the wagon) Hey! What are you doing?
Patrick: My best friend SpongeBob cooked each and every one of them with his own hands, wearing his own square pants. If you don't want to eat them, at least you can... (The Toybot sucks Patrick into the tube along with Krabby Patties) Whooooaaaahhhhh!
SpongeBob: Patrick! Noooo! I've got to get back in there and rescue my best friend. But how, how?
Robotic voice: Defective work unit 825. Reject. Reject. Reject. (Some Toybot bodies are dropping on SpongeBob) Have a nice day, and don't forget to call again when you are feeling better.
SpongeBob: I wonder if...?
Robotic voice: Ah! Work unit 825... Feeling better, are we? Good. Then come on in!

First Game

Patrick: SpongeBob! Help! Wheee!!
SpongeBob: Hold on, Patrick, I'll save you!
SpongeBob: Patriiick!
SpongeBob: Don't worry, Patrick, you're an invertebrate! No bones to break!
SpongeBob: I'm on my way, pal! Stay calm!
SpongeBob: There's got to be some way to get you out of there.
SpongeBob: Marco!
Patrick: Polo!
Patrick: Marco!
SpongeBob: Polo!
Patrick: SpongeBob! I'm over here!
Patrick: Oof! Bop! Umph!
SpongeBob: Hold on, Patrick! I'll save you!

Dialogue 2, First Scene

SpongeBob: Hey, this is just like surfing at Goo Lagoon. OOF! Only there's no soft sand to land on. Patrick? Patrick? Oh, where are you?
Patrick: (Comes vacuum packed) Mmmph... mmph! Mmmmph! (SpongeBob! Over here!)
SpongeBob: Patrick! Thank Neptune, I found you.
Patrick: Was that you?
SpongeBob: No, that wasn't me! You've been vacuum packed. I'll try to get you outta here.
Patrick: Ow!
SpongeBob: Sorry. (Tak jumps in) Hey, little fellow; who are you?
Tak: I'm Tak of the Pupununu People. You are the good guys, aren't you?
SpongeBob: Sure, it's the beady red eyes that are a dead giveaway for the evil fellows. I am SpongeBob SquarePants. Nice to meet you.
Patrick: I am vacuum packed... I mean, I'm Patrick Star. What are you doing here?
Tak: I've been hiding and trying to figure out a way of escaping these evil toys.
SpongeBob: But... these toys, they look like you.
Tak: Yeah, me and some kid named "Timmy Turner." But check out the eyes.
SpongeBob & Patrick: Red! Jinx!
Tak: These things come from something called the "EvilToyCo." After the robots captured and scanned me, I escaped and hid here.
SpongeBob: So, where's the real Timmy Turner?
Tak: I don't know, but now that you two are here, I think I can use my Juju powers to find him.
SpongeBob: "Who-who" powers? Do you have a plan?
Tak: Yep. Follow me. I call upon the Power of Juju to open the door. (he presses a button, and a door opens)
Patrick: Look! A vast and complex toy factory!
Tak: This must be where they make the evil toys.
SpongeBob: Nice work! You've earned yourself a big tick, Tak.
Patrick: Toe! (Patrick holds up a paper with tic-tac-toe game in front of Tak.)

Dialogue 2, Second Scene

(Later, they are in the toy factory where Timmy Turner is)
SpongeBob: Look! It's Timmy Turner. (Patrick slams into the chamber)
Tak: They got you too?
Timmy: Yeah, the last thing I remember was this really strange dream with UFOs picking me up... but looking around here, that was no dream. More like a reality nightmare.
SpongeBob: What about your helpful little flying friends? Maybe they could help.
Timmy: Maybe. (Tak breaks free Cosmo & Wanda who look a little nauseous) Cosmo! Wanda! Are you all right?
Cosmo: No...
Wanda: We ate too many processed Krabby Patties!
Cosmo: And now we feel all... sleepy.
Timmy: But... but I need some emergency wishes!
Wanda: I'm sorry, Timmy; between us, we've only got enough magic to make sure no harm comes to you and your friends.
Cosmo: (points to Patrick, who's crushed by Cosmo & Wanda's chamber they were imprisoned in). Well, permanent harm anyway.
Timmy: (sigh) That's better than nothing, I guess.
SpongeBob: There he goes again... (SpongeBob points to Tak)
Tak: The Power of Juju tells me there are other heroes here...
SpongeBob: Where?
Tak: I dunno. Trapped somewhere. Come on.

Dialogue 3

(SpongeBob finds Jimmy Neutron trapped in the chamber)
SpongeBob: Look! It's Jimmy Neutron.
Tak: Jimmy "Who-tron"?
Patrick: Oh, he's a friend of ours. We go way, way back. He's got a big head.
SpongeBob: How do we get him out? (A speaker appears behind SpongeBob)
Voice from Speaker: I can help you there. Press the big red button. (Patrick falls on the button)
Jimmy: (suddenly wakes up) Leaping leptons! What's going on here? (we see Patrick in his Barnacle Boy suit)
Patrick: Uh... Why... nothing! Nothing at all...
Voice from Speaker: Find a way to the basement. I will meet you there. I have a proposal for you.

Dialogue 4

(we see Professor Calamitous on screen)
Professor Calamitous: So you see, it's the energy from the Ghost Zone that will power my evil toys. And that is why I will be named the Biggest Genius! (a big blue robot is seen watching him on TV)
Chadbot: Not before I name you the worst boss in history! (he throws away his TV remote when the Nicktoons arrive) Ah, hello, intruders. I am Chadbot, Professor Calamitous' hard-working, under-appreciated Helpbot. He makes me work too hard here, and as for that mustache...
Jimmy: Chadbot, I'm not big on the lip caterpillar either. Do you think you can help us contact our friend, Danny Phantom?
SpongeBob: Jimmy Neutron, you're a Boy Genius! Danny knows everything about Ghost Energy. With his help, we can stop the Professor and save the toys from becoming evil. What do you think, Mr. Chadbot? Can you help us?
Chadbot: Help you? Would my dimensional communicator that allows you to talk to your friend, Danny Phantom, help you?
Jimmy: You bet! What are we waiting for, big guy? (Chadbot grabs Jimmy)
Chadbot: What we are waiting for, big hair, for more action figures to add to my collection. These are some of the Master Models Mr. Professor "Bad Mustache" created. Each one I perfectly crafted a replica of the heroes he "borrowed." You bring me more from my collection, and I'll let you use the dimensional communicator to talk to your friend. Deal?
Jimmy: Deal. (Chadbot accidentally almost smashed Jimmy with his arm) Uh, maybe we'll stick with the handshake.

Dialogue 5

Jimmy: Say what?
Danny: I said I wasn't at home when Professor Calamitous' invading toy army took over my house to use the energy coming from the Ghost Portal. And now it's surrounded by big tin robots that look like Sam and me.
Jimmy: That what I thought you said. We have to stop Calamitous stealing any more Ghost Energy! You and Sam need to meet me at the Amity Park EvilToyCo outlet pronto!
Danny: What are you going to do?
Jimmy: Don't worry, I have a plan. See you there. (Somewhere at Amity Park, Danny and Sam go to EvilToyCo outlet) Let's see how giant toy robot deal with a little competition.
Timmy: It's Evil Toy butt-kicking time! Now, who wants to go first?

Game 4

Jimmy: Oh, no! Ambush!
Jimmy: Look out! Another ambush!
Jimmy: We'll have to destroy the robots before we can get through the barrier!
Jimmy: (They arrive at City Hall, and they see a large tank with a shield) Maybe our goo launchers can disable that shield!
Jimmy: Look out! Mines!
Jimmy: We have to destroy those toy helicopters!
Jimmy: Oh, no! Here it comes again! RUN!!!

Dialogue 6, First Scene

(The Giant Toy Tank is disabled)
Danny: Giant Evil Toy Jimmy Head, you are down and out. Cleanup in aisle 7!
Timmy: Hey, check out the other evil toys.
Patrick: They're shutting down!
SpongeBob: I'd call it giving up.
Tak: We can use the toy store portal to get back into the factory.
Sam: And shut it all down. Come on, it's time for a little payback.
Jimmy: A little payback? I'm aiming for a lotta payback! Let's go!

Dialogue 6, Second Scene

Professor Calamitous: I don't know why I ever called you Elite Toys because you're not! You're loser toys! Because of you, I have lost my supply of Ghost Energy. "Sponge Booby" and those other do-gooder heroes are inside my factory. Mr. Huggles!
Mr. Huggles: Front and center.
Professor Calamitous: (Sweeps Mr. Huggles off) No. that position is reserved for me. Mr Huggles, I want your teddy shock-troops in action in my factory. Now!
Chadbot: (Switches off the TV with the Nicktoons watching) I would define your current situation as "not good."
Patrick: Um, could you be more specific about the "not good" part?
Chadbot: The Saucer Men toys originate from a zone in this factory.
Patrick: Yep.
Chadbot: You must stop Calamitous from using the aforesaid Saucer Men to capture any more heroes.
Patrick: I'm with you there.
Chadbot: Stopping the Saucer Men will be even more difficult now.
Timmy: It's going to be worse than... Being baby-sat by Vicky!
Patrick: Maybe I shouldn't have asked for specifics. (They left but Jimmy)
Chadbot: One moment, young man. You haven't forgotten our deal, have you?
Jimmy: Of course not. What was it again?
Chadbot: You were helping me add to my collection of action figures.
Jimmy: Me and my friends, we are so onto it, Chad-Boy.

Dialogue 7

(After the Saucer Men were destroyed....)
Professor Calamitous: Doesn't anybody listen to Evil Professors anymore?! I said I have to increase evil toy production, but to do that, I NEED MORE FAIRIES!!!
Bunny Toy: (pops up behind Calamitous) More fairies! (Then disappears)
Professor Calamitous: Send the Savage SpongeBots to Fairy World to protect the Harvester!
Bunny Toy: Send the Savage SpongeBots to Fairy World. Aha! That is the sound of Jorgen von Strangle being neutralized. Nothing can stop us now!
Professor Calamitous: Who are you?
Bunny Toy: I'm a minion. All evil professors have minions.
Professor Calamitous: You don't do an evil laugh, do you?
Bunny Toy: (Biggest evil laugh in the world) Like that you mean?
Professor Calamitous: I don't want you doing that again. Is that perfectly clear? My SpongeBots engage the Fairy Air Force so the Harvester can lure more unsuspecting fairies into the mobile, all-you-can-eat storefront. Deviousness and evilness prevail! Mwahahaha! (He coughs) Sorry.

Dialogue 8

(They arrive at Fairy World)
Cosmo: Ooh.... All-you-can-eat for free. (Patrick appears in front of Danny's binoculars and giggles)
Danny: Gaahhh!
Wanda: Cosmo! No! You know what Krabby Patties do to you!
Cosmo: Don't worry. I'm prepared. (He poofs a gas mask on)
Wanda: You've got to stop the Fairy Harvester before Cosmo gasses up again!
Jimmy: Hmm... The machine's controls are right up at the front, and these pipes will lead us straight there! Let's follow them.

Dialogue 9, First Scene

Patrick: Geronimo! (He gets stuck but is free by Jimmy behind him and frees Jorgen in the glass cage)
Jorgen Von Strangle: My thanks, puny heroes. So, the evil Professor thinks he can strangle the power of Jorgen von Strangle with a cage. Ha! I ptooey on his mustache, rip it from his face, and use it as a broom! No one calls Jorgen Von Strangle a mere fairy! I am a Magic Marine! Now I have biceps like small European nations. (With strength, he destroys the Fairy Harvester leaving the Nicktoons in shock)
Danny: Bet that's not covered by warranty... (A few moments later, Jorgen jumps down)
Jorgen von Strangle: The evil Harvester is no more! I will take care of the mopping up with a huge mop - you must go and take care of that annoying little Professor, man! Go, tiny hero people!

Dialogue 9, Second Scene

Professor Calamitous: I'd like to thank nobody but myself for this great honor in winning the Biggest Genius...
Bunny Toy: Err, excuse me. Professor. You haven't won yet.
Professor Calamitous: I know. I know. I'm practicing my acceptance speech.
Bunny Toy: But everyone can hear you.
Professor Calamitous: What do you mean? This is a diary closet, isn't it?
Bunny Toy: It's being broadcast. They can hear you.
Professor Calamitous: Why didn't you tell me? That's your job, isn't it?
Bunny Toy: Actually, my job inscription doesn't clearly state that I am obliged to inform you of--
Professor Calamitous: I bet it doesn't say anything about this either! (Infuriatingly pops the balloon bunny toy with a needle, returns to speech) Jimmy Neutron, Timmy Turner, SpongeBob SquarePants, Danny Phantom, Tak, Samantha, Patrick.... Have I forgotten anyone? I will be declared the Biggest Genius in your hero do-gooder faces, and there's nothing you can do about it! Mwahahaha.... they're heading towards my lair! Why doesn't anything work out for me? (He cries, then pauses) Um, you didn't see that apparent moment of weakness, did you? (TV turns off)

Dialogue 10

(They arrive at Calamitous' Lair)
SpongeBob: Look. It's the Professor's Lair!
Timmy: A lair? How come he doesn't live in a house?
Jimmy: Rule 26B, subsection 4 of the Evildoers Handbook. The moment you become evil, you gotta move into a lair.
Tak: Uh-oh. Here come the neighbors.
Jimmy: Let's give them some mech-suit mayhem!

Final Game

Jimmy: Oh, no! Ambush!
Jimmy: We have to destroy those generators, or we can't proceed.
Jimmy: We'll have to find another way through.
Jimmy: We have to destroy those toy helicopters!
Jimmy: The only way to destroy that gate is to destroy its generator!
Jimmy: Head for that transport pad!

Final Dialogue

(They arrive at Calamitous' lair)
Timmy: He's got to be in there! (But as he heard someone, they realized it's the Biggest Genius studio)
The Biggest Genius' Host: We are seconds away from calling time... And, TIME!!! (The Biggest Genius show is back on back from the break) And so, it comes to this, as it must, the moment where I have the honor, the privilege, the unmitigated pleasure to announce the winner of The Biggest Genius...
Professor Calamitous: Listen, shoulder pads. Just get on with it and tell me I'm the winner!
The Biggest Genius' Host: The judges have made their decision! The winner of the Biggest Genius is... The Chadbot!
Professor Calamitous: Chadbot?! My employee? But I didn't even know you were a contestant.
Chadbot: Your irrational desire to abduct the very best characters from every dimension has led to my victory over you and your hairy lip.
The Biggest Genius' Host: Indeed, it is you, Mr. Chadbot, that has magnificently combined all the theme ingredients: Krabby Patties, Fairies, and Ghost Energy. In true genius, you have gone even further to create the greatest collection of action figures in the world. Only the Biggest Genius could have completed such a challenge!
Chadbot: And I couldn't have done it without you, my friends. Thank you.
Professor Calamitous: But, but--
Chadbot: "Butt" is exactly what you got kicked.
The Biggest Genius' Host: Care to know what your prize is?
Chadbot: Prize?
The Biggest Genius' Host: Not only do you get this fetching and fully-synthetic, washable, drip-dry glow-in-the-dark sash that will make you the envy of all your friends, and combust near an open flame, but you also receive your very own Professor Calamitous ImmobilizationBot. And an electric shaver.
Professor Calamitous: No. You can't. Not the mustache. It took me years to grow it. (Cried in dismay)