Regi-Hilled/transcript

This article is a transcript of the Kamp Koral: SpongeBob's Under Years episode "Regi-Hilled/transcript" from season , which aired on .

[The episode opens with a shot of Regigille's alarm clock as Regigille wakes up. He turns off the alarm clock. Outside the Yacht Cabin, a clam is snoring. Regigille turns on the cabin lights and turns on the radio. He opens the fridge, gets a carton of eggs and some other food items, and shuts the door with his butt. He lays everything down on the table, and he takes some eggs and juggles them on his tentacles. He uses a spatula to chop them up in the air, and mixes the eggs in a bowl. He turns on the oven, grabs a knife from the counter, and chops up some tomatoes. He does both of these things at the same time, and starts dancing. He turns on the blender, and the clam outside cock-a-doodle-doos. Regigille finishes up the dish, pours tea into some cups, and checks its temperature with a thermometer. It reads 185 degrees; perfect. Regigille puts flowers in the vases and takes the plate into the other room.]
Miss Upturn: [sitting at a table with Rea and Roh] Regigilled, we'll have the Pacific pancakes instead.
Regigille: [bowing and going back to the kitchen] Very good, madam.
[Regigille dumps all of the food in the trash, except for the tea. He turns on the oven again. In the other room, Miss Upturn groans. Regigille comes back into the room with the pancakes, and delivers them to the three of them. He also delivers Upturn her tea. Upturn takes a sip of her tea and spits it out. She drops a thermometer in the tea, and it now reads 183 degrees.]
Upturn: Two degrees off! This cannot be tolerated. Regigilled, you're fired!
Regigille: But-- but--
Upturn: [handing Regigille a "Butler Wanted" sign] Hang this butler sign out front on your way.
Regigille: Of course, madam. [he goes outside and sadly hangs the sign] Oh, my. [walks away] Ohh.
[A knock is heard on the cabin door, and Upturn answers.]
SpongeBob: Have no fear. Your new butler is here.
Upturn: And what makes you think you can buttle?
SpongeBob: I'm great at butting in and helping out.
[SpongeBob notices that Roh is setting his drink down without a coaster. He screams and runs to him. In slow motion, SpongeBob uses his eyeballs as coasters. This also knocks Rea over.]
SpongeBob: Don't forget to use a coaster.
Upturn: You're hired. [Rea groans]
[The scene bubble transitions to Narlene and Nobby collecting mushrooms. Narlene picks some mushrooms from a rock and puts it in a bag. Nobby eats one of them from the bag. He is about to grab another one when Narlene smacks him with a stick.]
Narlene: Hey, Nobby. Come on, now.
Narlene and Nobby: [see a giant "mushroom" in the distance] Huh? [cheer]
Narlene: We've hit the ever-loving mushroom motherlode! [pointing] Get the biggun' in the middle!
[Nobby hits the "mushroom" with a stick, and it makes a noise. The "mushroom" turns out to be Regigille, who gets up.]
Regigille: Pardon me, but-- [Nobby falls down] Ow. [pulls the stick out of his forehead]
Narlene: [she and Nobby are bowing] All hail the mushroom king!
Regigille: Whatever are you talking about? I am a butler who laid down amongst these mushrooms to wallow in the shame of my inadequacy. [stomach rumbles]
Narlene: You sound hungry. Hey, Mr. Not a Mushroom Man, why don't you come on back down to our shack for some vittles?
[Nobby bites Regigille's tentacle, making him scream. He then groans. The scene bubble transitions to the trio arriving at the shack. Narlene laughs, and she and Nobby enter through the open window. Regigille uses the front door, and gasps. He sees a sea mule with a bucket of slop in his mouth, braying. Narlene eats some of the slop from the bucket. She feeds some to Nobby.]
Regigille: How do you live like this? [collects dust from a chair] The dust on this chair is an inch thick.
Narlene: Oh, that ain't a chair.
Regigille: Uh... [pokes the "chair," and it falls down into a dust pile] Oh.
Narlene: As you can see, we ain't highfalutin, but this is home sweet home. [Nobby scratches himself like a dog]
Regigille: [takes out a dustpan and broom and cleans the dust pile, making Narlene and Nobby confused]
Narlene and Nobby: Huh?
[The scene bubble transitions back to the Yacht Cabin, where SpongeBob is preparing the tea. He tosses the teapot, and measures the tea with a thermometer on his tongue.]
SpongeBob: Perfect. [delivers the tea to Upturn] Your tea.
Upturn: [sips the tea] Just the way I like it. Here's Regigilled's list of daily chores. [rolls out an extremely long list of chores, which breaks through the back of the cabin]
SpongeBob: I'll start by patching up that hole in the wall.
[Bubble transition to SpongeBob doing the laundry.]
SpongeBob: Time to do the washing. [shoves the laundry into the laundry machine, as well as the dishes, a sack of money, Patrick, another laundry machine, an oar, and a boat. He closes the laundry machine, but his hand gets stuck in the door, pulling him into the machine. He starts spinning in the machine]
[Bubble transition back to Narlene and Nobby's cabin. On the top of the cabin, the sea mule brays. Narlene and Nobby get up and stretch, and the cabin is now clean. They gasp and cover their eyes.]
Narlene: What in the?
Narlene and Nobby: [seeing Regigille pour tea from a giant container] Huh?
Regigille: Good morning. I made you each a cup of tea. [lays down the cups on a table]
Narlene: [screaming] You done cleaned the sugar squeezer! You wiped years away of taste crystals and sweet seasoning!
[Narlene and Nobby sneeze onto Regigille, who holds up a plate to protect himself.]
Regigille: Oh, dear. You're allergic to the flowers. [picks up the flowers] I should take them away at once.
Narlene: It ain't the [sneezes] flowers. It's the vases. We're allergic to fancy. [she and Nobby sneeze again] [Regigille groans]
[Bubble transition to Regigille cleaning the house with a vacuum and dustpan and broom.]
Narlene: [facepalms] You have a cleaning need so deep you can't help yourself. But that's okay. 'Cause we're gonna teach you the way of the woods. Out here, we let nature do our cleaning. Nobby, if you would.
Nobby: [reverses the vacuum, causing it to explode and leave dust everywhere]
[The doors open, and the wind comes in to clean the house. Regigille gets dizzy from being spun around.]
Narlene: Told ya. Nature takes care of it. [someone knocks at the door]
Regiglle: I'll get it.
Narlene: No, don't answer the door!
Regigille: [opens the door to see a sea bear, which mauls him off-screen]
Narlene: That's the 10 AM sea bear. Comes every day, same time. If that'd been a real guest, they would've come in through the window.
Regigille: Very good, madam. [falls into slices]
Cousin: [comes into the cabin through the window] Hey, cuz! Just passing through! [jumps out the other window]
Narlene: Bye, cuz!
Narlene and Nobby: [they see Regigille washing the dishes] Huh?
Narlene: [groans and runs to Regigille] No! [scares Regigille, causing some of the dishes to fall down and break] That's what the dishwasher's for. [picks up a plate and hands it to the sea mule outside] Take a gander at this! [the sea mule licks the plate clean and brays] All clean. [wipes the saliva off the plate and puts the plate back up]
Regigille: [gags and passes out]
Nobby: [speaking gibberish]
Narlene: You're right, Nobby. This is gonna be harder than we thought. Well, let's wake him up and get on with learning him to relax! [drags Regigille by the legs]
[Bubble transition back to the Yacht Cabin. Fancy music plays as SpongeBob cleans the floors with his feet, which have scrubbers on them. He dances like a figure skater. Rea and Roh then come out of the upstairs rooms and trip on the suds. They slide down the stairs, hit each other, then run directly into Upturn, who is holding shopping bags. The shopping bags fall onto them all. SpongeBob stops dancing in front of them, and the three of them pop out. SpongeBob shrugs and giggles.]
[Bubble transition to Upturn entering the kitchen, where SpongeBob is once again using his tongue to check the temperature of the tea.]
Upturn: Oh, my!
SpongeBob: [tongue still in tea] Oh, I was just going to bring the tea to you. [grabs tongue] It's the perfect temperature. [offers the tea to Upturn] Huh?
Upturn: [gags and manages not to throw up] You're fired!
SpongeBob: Very good, madam. [takes off his outfit, laughs, and leaves]
[Bubble transition back to Narlene and Nobby's cabin, where Regigille is now a hillbilly.]
Narlene: [playing banjo, sighs] Oh, cousin Reggie, ain't this the life?
Regigille: You said it, cousin, Narlene. [claps tentacles] Oh, nature! [sea urchins come in through the window and take his apple core. Someone knocks at the door] Don't come on in, the window's open.
[Upturn, Rea, and Roh come in through the window and gasp.]
Regigille: Howdy, cousin Missy. What brings you to these parts?
Upturn: I demand you return, Regigilled, this instant!
Narlene: If'n you want him back, you're gonna have to [takes out her foot] foot wrestle for him!
Upturn: Very well. [shows her foot, still with a shoe on]
Narlene: Why, you couldn't kick the seeds out of a pickle with them tiny tootsies!
Upturn: [takes off her shoe to reveal her foot, making Narlene and Nobby worried]
[Bubble transition to a tiny fighting ring, where Upturn and Narlene's feet sit on. The camera zooms out to show the audience. Nobby grabs a microphone.]
Nobby: [announcer voice] Alright, toe wrestling fans, are you ready?
[The audience cheers.]
Nobby: [announcer voice] It's toe against toe, foot against foot, with a battle for the ages. Let's get it on! [the sea mule kicks a bell]
[Narlene and Upturn's feet start wrestling. Upturn knocks Narlene's foot backward. Upturn tackles Narlene's foot again, knocking her out of the ring.]
Nobby: [commentating] Oh, a clothesline! Now who's up there? [Narlene's foot has a chair] Narlene is up, and she's got a chair! [Narlene's foot hits Upturn's with the chair, knocking her down. Narlene tries to hit her again, but Upturn's foot launches her foot into the corner] Oh, a sweeping suplex from Missy! [the feet continue to fight, until Upturn's foot rips a toenail from Narlene's. She throws Narlene's foot out of the ring again. Upturn's foot flexes its muscles.]
Narlene: Time to bring down the hammer toe! [her toe flings herself into Upturn, and they tackle each other until Narlene's foot wins, and she laughs]
Nobby: [coming out of the ground, holding up Narlene's foot] Narlene wins! [the crowd cheers]
Narlene: Woo-hoo! You can stay, Cousin Reggie!
Upturn: I can't believe I'm going to have to live without Regigilled! I even perspired! [points to a single tear on her forehead]
Regigille: You happily exerted yourself for me, madam. Something I took no pleasure in watching. So, [grabbing Rea and Roh] why don't we all return home and let things get back to normal?
Nobby: [speaks gibberish]
Narlene: Nobby says you're welcome back anytime. You know where the window is.
Regigille: Thank you, madam. It was an eye-opening-- scratch that. It was a real hoot!
[Bubble transition back to the Yacht Cabin. Regigille is back in the kitchen with dishes. He looks around, and takes a dish out the window and whistles. SpongeBob licks the dish clean.]
Regigille: [wiping away the saliva] Ah, nature. [SpongeBob brays]