Scaredy Pants/transcript

This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "Scaredy Pants" from season 1, which aired on October 28, 1999.

[The episode begins during nighttime at Bikini Bottom during Halloween. The camera pans around the various Halloween items and creatures, including a skeleton on a pirate ship, a spider with a snorkel, two trick-or-treaters with one being dressed up as a witch and another one as a mummy, a ghost, and a jack-o-lantern. The camera stops at the Krusty Krab.]
French Narrator: Halloween is no different under the waves. Pirates, skeletons, and sea monsters. [laughs evilly; you can also hear the kids in the aforementioned costumes saying "Trick or treat!" after coming to the front door of one of the citizen's houses] Oop, sorry. Everyone is having fun. [a wolf howls in the background] Well, almost everyone.
[SpongeBob is in the middle of washing the dishes in the Krusty Krab kitchen. The door creaks open, and he jumps in surprise]
SpongeBob: Huh? Who's there? [door creaks open some more as SpongeBob goes back to washing the rest of the plates. Seconds later, he turns around and sees three pieces of paper spelling out "boo" turn on the ordering turntable. The camera zooms at them for a second. SpongeBob speeds up the cleaning of the dishes until he finishes in slight fear] Okay, Mr. Krabs, the dishes are done, I'm leaving! [tries running out of the restaurant, but Mr. Krabs stops him in his tracks]
Mr. Krabs: Hold on! Don't you want to hear my annual scary story?
SpongeBob: No, thank you, Mr. Krabs. Uh... does it have monsters in it?
Mr. Krabs: Aye, the worst monster of them all.
SpongeBob: Uh... no. [opens the door then turns around] Is it a true story?
Mr. Krabs: True as the deep blue.
SpongeBob: Okay. Maybe just a little.
Mr. Krabs: Have a seat, me boy. [He runs while saying "hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot" when carrying a burning campfire before sitting on a log. Mr. Krabs puts the campfire in between them] Every year on Halloween night, the Flying Dutchman descends on Bikini Bottom, in a pirate ship, just.. like.. [holds up a Krabby Patty] this. Only bigger!
SpongeBob: Excuse me, did his ship look like a Krabby Patty?
Mr. Krabs: Like I was saying, the Flying Dutchman swoops down [Mr. Krabs takes out a pickle from a Krabby Patty] and starts stealing people's souls. [holds up a pickle and a ghost is screaming in the background.]
SpongeBob: Do souls look like pickles?
Mr. Krabs: Aye, as a matter of fact, they do. And he puts them where you can never get them... [drops the pickle into a bag that has the words "Krusty Krab" crossed out and the word "souls" written above it, the ghost continues to scream in the background] in his soul bag. [Mr. Krabs laughs evilly as Squidward appears in a pirate suit behind SpongeBob, who starts to feel uncomfortable and is biting his nails]
Squidward: I've come for your pickle.
[SpongeBob jumps up screaming. Afterwards, Squidward takes off his hat and fake beard.]
Mr. Krabs: Ha, ScaredyPants gets easier to scare every year!
[Mr. Krabs and Squidward laugh as SpongeBob, in a barrel, sees the pirate was Squidward.]
SpongeBob: Humph, Squidward.
Mr. Krabs: Nothing like a good ghost story, eh, me boy? [winks] Hope you're not too scared to come to me party tonight, SpongeBob ScaredyPants! [laughs while walking out of the Krusty Krab]
Squidward: [walks up behind SpongeBob, tries to scare him again] Steal your soul. [SpongeBob jumps out of the Krusty Krab screaming and beings to walk home. As he is walking home, he sees a jack-o-lantern; you can hear its evil laugh in the background. After that SpongeBob starts to whimper and tremble since he got scared of it. One second later he walks up to a kid in a cowboy costume]
Kid: Twick-ow-tweat! [SpongeBob screams and runs away. The kid's parents walk up next to their son]
Mother: It's okay, son. That's just SpongeBob ScaredyPants. [SpongeBob is walking home until Mrs. Puff drives up and honks the horn, sending SpongeBob screaming and jumping to hold onto the street light]
Mrs. Puff: Happy Halloween, ScaredyPants. [drives off laughing]
SpongeBob: The name's SquarePants. It's SquarePants!
[Bubble transition to SpongeBob's pineapple house. He and Gary are inside a huge pumpkin. SpongeBob is carving it out from the inside.]
SpongeBob: I don't get it, Gary. Every Halloween, no matter how hard I try, everybody scares me.
Gary: Meow.
SpongeBob: Well, I'm sick of it. [SpongeBob comes out of the carved mouth of the pumpkin] No more ScaredyPants. [notices his pumpkin and screams while running into his closet]
Patrick: [knocks at the door of SpongeBob's home] SpongeBob!
SpongeBob: Gary, it's Patrick! I'm gonna scare him! It's my turn. [opens the door and tries to scare Patrick] Rawr! [we can see Patrick having his Groucho glasses on]
Patrick: Hiya, SpongeBob! [SpongeBob screams and jumps up to the point that he almost crashes into the ceiling. Patrick takes his glasses off] Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you.
SpongeBob: [on ceiling] Why can't I be frightening for once? [drops to the floor] Where's my chance?
Patrick: Well, if you want to be scary, you're going to need a good costume. [he and SpongeBob walk inside]
[Bubble transition to SpongeBob walking out of his closet with a big, white sheet on]
SpongeBob: What do you think?
Patrick: Great! You're going as my trick-or-treat bag!
SpongeBob: No, no! I'm the ghost of the Flying Dutchman!
Patrick: Eh, something's missing. I know! [Patrick runs inside SpongeBob's closet. A tree falls down but then gets sawed down by Patrick. He comes out with a pair of wooden clogs] Step into these babies, Hans. [SpongeBob steps into the clogs] Terrifying.
SpongeBob: I don't know, Patrick.
[Doorbell rings, the trick-or-treaters are laughing off-screen]
Patrick: Come on, SpongeBob! It's little kids! Little kids are easy to scare!
[Door opens, revealing that two kids who made their appearance at the beginning of the episode (the mummy and the witch) along with another young fish wearing a green coat and a big pumpkin on its head. All of them are holding their candy bags]
Kids: Trick-or-treat!
SpongeBob: [stands in front of the kids and tries to scare them like he did Patrick] Rawr-rawr!
[The kids laugh.]
Kid #1: Look, it's the haunted mattress! [The kids laugh again.]
SpongeBob: Okay, okay, here's your candy. [holds up a bowl full of candy]
Kid #1: No, please, that was enough of a treat, thank you.
[The kids walk away, still laughing]
SpongeBob: [sits on his inflatable couch, feeling misunderstood] I don't get it, Patrick.
Patrick: [Patrick holds scissors in his right hand a has a puppet on his left hand] Hey SpongeBob, look at my new paper ghost! Oooh, scary.
SpongeBob: That is it, Patrick.
Patrick: What's it?
SpongeBob: What's the difference between [points at the paper ghost] that ghost and me?
[Patrick looks at his hand ghost and then SpongeBob in his costume, not seeing the obvious difference]
Patrick: No, no, no, wait. Don't tell me. I... [keeps looking at his hand and then SpongeBob and starts to breathe more heavily] D-don't tell me. Don't tell me! Don't tell me! I can do this! I can do this! Don't tell me! Don't tell me! Don't tell me! [realizes he won't find the obvious difference and gives up] Okay, tell me.
SpongeBob: I've got a square head... [points both hands to his head and grabs the puppet ghost] ...and a real ghost has a round one. [follows his index finger around the perimeters of the puppet ghost's head] All we have to do is make my head round and boo! I'm scary! [Bubble transitions to SpongeBob sitting on a chair in his bathroom. Patrick has goggles on and holds a purple, shell-shaped electric razor in his hand]
Patrick: Okay, are you ready?
SpongeBob: [shows paper ghost and points at it] Remember, like this.
[Patrick razors off SpongeBob's sides]
Patrick: Are you sure you want to do this?
SpongeBob: Shave me down, make me round!
[Patrick razors off more and uses one piece to wipe off his sweat from his forehead]
Patrick: All right, let's get to it. [razors off more part. Later, SpongeBob is a round ghost]
SpongeBob: What do you think?
Patrick: Perfect! [shakes SpongeBob's hand] Now that's scary! [Patrick puts on his Groucho glasses] Let's go scare somebody. [Scene cuts to SpongeBob running down a street trying to scare people]
SpongeBob: Ooh... I'm the Flying Dutchman!
Patrick: Ooh... I don't know who I am! [SpongeBob pretends to fly and rings the doorbell of one of the homes. The man inside opens the door.]
SpongeBob: Rawr! Rawr! I'm the Flying Dutchman!
Patrick: Ooh, I'm the Flying Dutchman's best friend! [both run off laughing]
Man: Hey, don't you kids want your candy? [both jump behind some coral in the shape of a skeleton head]
Patrick: Oh, boy, that was something. Your costume really packs a punch.
SpongeBob: Do you think?
Patrick: Oh, no question. You scared the barnacles off that guy.
SpongeBob: Who should we scare next?
Patrick: There's a whole party just full of people down at the Krusty Krab. And the Flying Dutchman is gonna show up uninvited. [kids laughing] Oh, here comes someone now! [SpongeBob jumps out to scare the trick-or-treaters from earlier]
SpongeBob: Rawr! Oooh! I'm the Flying Dutchman! [SpongeBob & Patrick run off laughing again]
Kid #2: Wasn't that the Haunted Mattress?
Kid #3: I guess he's been demoted to the haunted sleeping patch. [The kids laugh.]
[Scene cuts to the Krusty Krab, where there is a Halloween feast going on. Mr. Krabs is bobbing for apples with his daughter, Pearl, who is dressed up as Frankenstein's bride. Mr. Krabs successfully bobs an apple, but accidentally swallows it and chokes on it.]
Pearl: Oh, dad, you're embarrassing me again! [cries and runs off. Krabs spits out the apple which shoots past Squidward (dressing up as The Flying Dutchman) and Sandy (whose hair and head are in the shape of a goldfish), breaking a window off-screen in the process.]
Sandy: Howdy, Squidward. I mean, Flying Dutchman. Great party, huh?
Squidward: What are you supposed to be?
Sandy: Why, I'm a pet goldfish in a bowl.
Squidward: I don't get it. [Sandy and Squidward drink the fruit punch. Meanwhile, SpongeBob and Patrick are on the roof of the Krusty Krab. SpongeBob is tied up with some rope which Patrick will lower him in with. SpongeBob opens a door on the roof to peek through to look at the party]
Patrick: Are you ready, SpongeBob? [thumbs up from SpongeBob]
SpongeBob: Okay, Patrick, kill the lights!
[Lights go off. As soon as this happens, everybody begins panicking and running around screaming. SpongeBob is lowered in appearing with a scary look. Patrick begins talking through a megaphone to scare everyone. Mr. Krabs even hides in the apple barrel]
Patrick: Wa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! I am the Flying Dutchman! Booga-booga-booga-booga-booga-booga! Give me your souls! [a jellyfish comes up behind Patrick, rubs its hands sinisterly, and zaps him in the butt.] Huh? [Patrick stands up there for a few seconds. He screams and starts running around in circles while SpongeBob is tumbling.] Ow! Ow!
SpongeBob: Whoa! [flails around and around. Patrick rubs his rear on the Krusty Krab chimney trying to shake off the jellyfish sting. As Patrick continues to run around, SpongeBob dangles upside down, revealing his pants.]
Kid #3: [notices SpongeBob's pants] Hey, that's no Dutchman, that's SpongeBob!
Sandy: SpongeBob?
Squidward: SpongeBob... [everyone laughs]
SpongeBob: [still dangling] Help! Help!
Patrick: [using megaphone] I am not SpongeBob! Those are my street clothes!
Crowd: [All laughing, one of them says "Flying Dutchman! Flying Dope-man!"]
[Lightning strikes. The entrance of the Krusty Krab suddenly opens a bright light.]
Flying Dutchman: [screams] Enough!
[Everyone gasps as glowing green smoke comes into the Krusty Krab. A glowing green figure appears, it turns out to be the actual Flying Dutchman. He laughs evilly, making everyone scream in terror.]
Mr. Krabs: It's the real Flying Dutchman! [he faints]
Flying Dutchman: You bet your lily-white livers, I'm the Flying Dutchman! And I'll let you in on a little secret. I'm going to steal your souls! [everyone screams] Quiet! [breathes out flames to burn them] You had it coming, you little crybabies! Every year, people dress like me! [Squidward takes his costume off and whistles nonchalantly] Turning the Flying Dutchman name into a laughingstock. But that's not the reason I'm taking your souls. [pointing at SpongeBob, who is hanging upside down] No, this is the straw that broke the camel's back. Out of all the Dutchman costumes I've seen, yours is the most insulting.
SpongeBob: Do you mean I'm not scary?
Flying Dutchman: You?! Scary?! [cackles, then cuts the rope holding SpongeBob, and he falls to the floor] Let me tell you about scary, kid. There's all kinds of scary things in the world. Spiders are scary, uhh, I'm scary. You... you're not scary. Okay, let's get this over with. [flies back to the partygoers to steal their souls and evilly laughs in their faces again which makes everyone scream in terror again, one fish even shaking his head begging for mercy]
Sandy: SpongeBob!
Flying Dutchman: First, I gotta get rid of this stupid costume. [removes SpongeBob's ghost costume...then stares at SpongeBob in horror. The Flying Dutchman flies out of the Krusty Krab screaming. SpongeBob is now shown as skinless with just a brain, eyes, and a mouth with the lower half of his body]
SpongeBob: Hey, what do you know? I scared him! [laughs]
[Everyone else, except Patrick and himself, runs out screaming]
SpongeBob: It worked, Patrick. I scared everybody!
Patrick: Yeah, I guess it was your pink hat.
SpongeBob: Pink hat? Oh, that's not a hat. That's my brain. [pats his brain]
Patrick: Ohh... [he runs away screaming, and the screen cuts to black.]
SpongeBob: [off-screen] Don't worry, it grows back! [The episode ends.]

pl:Bojącoporty (transkrypt) pt-br:Bob Medroso (transcrição)