Shrinking Stars/transcript

This article is a transcript of the The Patrick Star Show episode "Shrinking Stars/transcript" from season , which aired on .

Note: Scenes that are in green are in the event called "The Tidal Zone."

[The episode starts at a dark sky with white letters saying "SpongeBob SquarePants Presents: The Tidal Zone." Cue title card, and many objects pass by the screen.]
French Narrator: [offscreen, as the door similar to one that of SpongeBob's house opens] You are traveling through an aquatic dimension. A dimension not only of laughs and giggles... [a clown fish flies by] But of uncontrollable nose milk. [a fish flies by with the exact same thing happening to her. Then, the French Narrator appears in person] When things start to get cuckoo, there's a pretty good chance you may have just entered... [grabs the Star family home and a cup flying nearby and pours something in the cup] The Tidal Zone. [drops the home to its original location]
Patrick: And we're back! [the audience cheers for him] Our next guests on The Patrick Show are the wonderfully talented Captain Quaaa... [struggles to pronounce his name before his head blows up and he collapses to the ground]
Squidina: Captain Quasar and Pat-Tron!
[Squidina uses two rods to motion where their spaceship should land, making it crash into the audience, which flies away, while Quasar and Pat-Tron jump into their seats]
Patrick: Welcome to the show, fellas! Cool spaceship. [the audience runs back to their seats] Where are you guys from?
Quasar: Um... Outer space. [presses a button on his suit and his helmet disappears]
Patrick: [emerges from a live-action woman's face] Out her face?
Quasar: [does the same] No, just outer space.
Patrick: Well, better out than in! [falls back to his seat laughing along with Pat-Tron but stops once Pat-Tron laughs a bit too hard, glitching]
Quasar: Pat-Tron, I told you to turn off your laugh track! It always drifts his gears.
Patrick: Don't worry, folks, I can fix it. [opens Pat-Tron's hatch and enters him, pulling some cords and wires, becoming tied in them] I can't fix it! Let me out!
Pat-Tron: [stops laughing] Evacuating robo-balance. [catapults Patrick out of his body]
Patrick: [has a futuristic gun on his head] Oh, I got something stuck to my melon.
Pat-Tron: That's my shrink ray. I thought I lost that?
Patrick: [rubs his head] It's making my head all spicy! [activates the shrink ray and accidentally shrink Squidina, then starts running around the room]
Pat-Tron: [chases after him] Stop! Give me back my shrink ray!
[Cecil and Bunny enter the room]
Bunny: [wearing a sombrero] Hola, my little channy show hosts!
Cecil: [holds a phone with a cord pulling from it] Who wants to order a pizza?
Patrick: [stops running] Oh, I'll take a large... [scratches his head as the shrink ray starts charging] With pineapple and potpourri! [shrinks his parents before handing Pat-Tron his shrink ray] Uh, here you go. [accidentally shrinks himself as well as the audience looks confused]
Quasar: Um... Fear not, studio audience! I can unshrink them! With the growth ray... I have in my ship. [him and Pat-Tron sneak into the ship and fly away, as some audience members clap]
British gentleman: Oh, cool.
Patrick: Wow, our house is gigantic now! [walks into a wad of spat pink gum] Whoa, here's my gum! [Patrick trips and falls on his face in the gum]
Squidina: [raising tentacles to form a 16:9 "frame"] And so cinematic!
Bunny: It's "cine-gigantic!" [pulling Patrick out of the gum] Is that thing a word?
Cecil: Ha, don't be "retupulous," Bunny, of course not. Being small is gonna be "fun-gantic!" [pointing to a used sock on the floor] Last one to the big, stinky sock is a rotten fish egg!
[Cecil and Patrick run towards the used sock as gum flies off of Patrick; Bunny and Squidina stay back]
Patrick: Good one, Dad!
Bunny: [laughs and holds part of dress] Shall we?
Squidina: Yeah. [her and Bunny hold hands, spin together and begin to sing]
Bunny and Squidina: Small, small, small, small, small, small...
[star-wipe transition to next scene]
[Bunny dances on top of a white surface; we zoom out to reveal she is dancing on Pinkeye]
High pitched voiceover: Diminutive!
[star-wipe again]
[Cecil rides on Ouchie like a cowboy while holding a cowboy hat; we zoom out to reveal he is roaming a blue carpet in a hallway somewhere in the house]
High pitched voiceover: Tiny!
[We cut to Patrick laying on a bar of soap similarly to a bodyboard]
Patrick: Puny!
[Squidina also lays on a bar of soap, laughs, and dives down into the sink as her and Patrick take off and "catch air" in the sink similarly to skateboarders]
High pitched voiceover: Itty-bitty! Tinsy-winsy! Small!
[cut to the toilet, where the Star family swim in the water on donuts, which act as inner tubes]
Bunny: Ah... Lovely.
[Tinkle starts licking the water from the toiler, barking and shaking the Stars]
Squidina: Not now, Tinkle!
[the family falls out of the toilet, laughing]
Squidina: I wish GrandPat were here to enjoy this.
[meanwhile, GrandPat is in his room playing a VR game, in which he strikes pedestrians on his scooter. Then, water from upstairs sprays him and ruins his VR set]
GrandPat: [removes his VR goggles] Can't an old man play violent video games in peace anymore? Grr! [looks up] Water? [gets angry and goes to the bathroom while the rest of the family is still laughing]
Bunny: [as GrandPat approaches] We got shrunk!
Patrick: Hey, GrandPat!
Cecil: Can you get us some tiny towels?
GrandPat: Vermin? I'll get ya with my bug spray breath! [takes a bite out of an onion and breathes on Stars]
Patrick: GrandPat, no!
[the family is suddenly snatched away in the hole in the wall]
GrandPat: Hey, where'd they go?
[the Stars end up in the Dartfish family's place]
Daddy Dartfish: You'll be safe in here, Stars.
Cecil: Whew, that was a close shave. Thanks you for saving us.
Bunny: Yeah, we apologize for GrandPat. He thinks we're vermin.
Patrick: [tied in ropes] Yeah, like you!
Daddy Dartfish: No worries, we were just sitting down to enjoy our roasted peppermint.
Teensy Tom: It's not much, but we're willing to share it with you.
Patrick: [chewing on the peppermint] Sure would!
Squidina: [pats Patrick on the back, making him spit it out] Patrick, manners!
Patrick: Minty.
[the doorbell rings]
Teensy Tom: I'll get it! Oh, I do hope it's more guests. [presses a button near the door, switching in to the kitchen door, and as he opens it, GrandPat's eye comes out]
GrandPat: Ah-ha! I see you! [laughs maliciously]
Bunny: [scared] GrandPat?!
Mommy Dartfish: To survive in the wild, we find it best to stay out of family squabbles. Dartfishes, scatter!
[the family runs in separate holes. Patrick tries to get the peppermint, but the Girl Dartfish takes it, hisses at him, and runs back in her hole]
Bunny: Take that! [kicks GrandPat in the eye] GrandPat scared our new friends away! Oh, this time he's gone too far.
Cecil: Then I guess his "beloved family" is gonna have to teach him a lesson.
[the family laughs maliciously]
Patrick: It's awesome, right? [becomes confused] What?
GrandPat: [has an entire arsenal of various things he tried to catch them with outside, while holding a bat] All this pest hunting's making me hangry. [drops the bat and goes to the fridge] Let's see here...
Patrick and Squidina: [on the top of the fridge] Cake molds, away!
GrandPat: Huh? [Patrick and Squidina drop cake molds shaped like a whale, a face, and SpongeBob on him, shaping his face like the respective face molds] Why you...
[the family hits GrandPat with the cupboard doors, put a nose on him to spray pepper on to, making him sneeze, and then spray lemon acid in his eyes]
GrandPat: [goes to the sink] Why those little... [turns it on, but Patrick closes it. GrandPat does this again, but Patrick closes it once more. Then he does this the third time, with the same results] Revenge of the vermin, eh?
[while GrandPat keeps the sink open to wash his eyes under it, the family hit him with kitchen supplies and spray water on him]
GrandPat: You...
[the Stars remove the floor tiles under him, making him slip on the table, where he's tied by the tablecloth]
GrandPat: Oh, these insects are smarter than my family... [a nearby cactus drops on him] That's it! No more Mr. Nice Geezer! Dentures, go get 'em!
[GrandPat removes his dentures, which chase after the Stars, who are then shrunk down even further by Rubedor]
Rubedor: Hi, I am Rubedor. I shrunk you down with my futuristic shrink suckers to save you from harm.
Star family: Thanks, Rubedor-
Rubedor: [interrupts them] And introduce you to the shimmering, shiny city of Schmandor! [shows them a shiny futuristic city] Schmandor is the place to be!
[the family is teleported to what seems to be the restaurant]
Rubedor: Schmandor is fine dining...
[Patrick tries to bite the glass turkey presented to him, before they disappear]
Rubedor: Spacious homes...
[the family is teleported to a huge glass dome with nothing but a chair and a TV in it, before they vanish from it]
Rubedor: A state-of-the-art transit system...
[the family is teleported to a glass train, before vanishing]
Rubedor: Shopping centers...
[the family is teleported to a shopping center already dressed in white suits and with bags, before vanishing again]
Rubedor: And conveniently located under the sink...
[the family is teleported to the sink, where some residents play in the water, before they finally get taken back to Rubedor]
Rubedor: Schmandor is entirely made of the hand-blown glass. [blows "Amazing!" from the glass]
Star family: [repeat the word] Amazing!
Patrick: Oh boy, can we live here?
Cecil: Sure we can, kids! Schmandor is so beautiful, it makes me feel like singing!
Rubedor: Hold on! There's no singing allowed in Schmandor! [Schamdor gets destroyed] And that's why!
Cecil: Yuck. Who wants to live in a place where you can't sing? [closes the cupboard] That was a close one!
Bunny: And here comes a closer one!
[GrandPat drives around on his scooter armed with pesticide, while the Stars scream in terror. However, the wheels of the scooter avoid them]
Squidina: Ha, we're too small to be run over!
[the Stars exhale in relief]
Patrick: Ha-ha!
GrandPat: Now where would I hide if I was a filthy flea?
Bunny: I think it's time to resume GrandPat's lesson.
[all jump inside GrandPat's scooter and mess up its engine]
Patrick: I picked this one up inside Pat-Tron! [tears the scooter's cords, making it malfunction]
GrandPat: [falls from the scooter] My scooter is haunted!
[he runs away from the scooter as it starts chasing him. He hides inside his bed and catches it, falling on top of it]
GrandPat: Quit spooking my wheel, or I'll roast you, ghosts! [accidentally drives into a time closet, ending up in Egypt looking down on a pharaoh sculpture's head] Egypt? I love Egypt! [falls down into a tomb filled with mummies] But I hate mummies! I gotta get home! [drives off from the mummies as they crowd him]
Squidina: That was fun. But what if we're too small for the audience to see us?
Patrick: [with a can of Jumbo Grow] Hey, guys! Look what I found! Jumbo Grow plant food!
Squidina: Patrick, be careful!
Patrick: [spills the plant food on them] It's time to grow up!
[this time, the Stars shrink down even further to the subatomic level]
Squidina: Now I can see the fine print, Patrick! It grows plants, but it shrinks people! You shrunk us down to the subatomic teensy-weensy level.
Patrick: Aw, now we'll never finish tonight's show...
Cecil: [sees a light coming out of surrounding tunnels] Stay together, Stars! I think there's a way out of here. [leads them to the light as they end up in front of their home]
Bunny: Look, we're home! Everything's back to normal, right?
Patrick, Squidina, and Cecil: Right!
[they notice a giant eye watching them from the sky and look at it in fear]
Squidina: Except the moon is a big eyeball now!
[the Stars scream and run into their home, while the eye is revealed to be Sandy's, who's observing them in her treedome]
Sandy: Micro-critters are fascinating! How can they be so sophisticated when they're so dang little? Glad no one's watching me! [exits her seat, showing her environment is very unkempt. She stops, however, to notice a huge live-action eye watching her. Sandy screams and puts a shield on her treedome]
French Narrator: [is revealed to be observing her with a magnifying glass] Grandma Frenchy always said, "Don't sweat the small stuff." [an even larger pair of eyes appears behind him as well] And in this small world, where good things come in small packages, it's no small wonder it's the little things that mean a lot, especially in the wee-small hours of... The Tidal Zone.
[he notices the eyes behind himself and runs away, as the eyes wink at the audience, ending the episode]