Squeaky Boots/transcript

This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "Squeaky Boots" from season 1, which aired on September 17, 1999.

• [The episode begins at Mr. Krabs' house. Mr. Krabs is dancing around and singing a special birthday song for daughter, named Pearl. He does his small stint front of her friends.]
• Mr. Krabs: ♪ Yar-har, Pearl's my daughter, I'll spit in your eye! Yo-ho, Pearl's a whale, and it's her birthday, yar-yar-yar! Ta-dah! ♪
• [Pearl and her friends look bored. One of them lies her head on the table, in dissatisfaction.]
• Pearl Krabs: Thanks for the show, Dad. Now can we open the presents? [her friends start to leave]
• Mr. Krabs: Oh, all right. Presents for me darling little sardine. Here ya are. [places the birthday gift in front of Pearl on the table]
• [Pearl holds the present]
• Pearl: Oh, you shouldn't have. What is it, Daddy? It wouldn't be those totally hip new flipper slippers [the camera pans to Pearl's friends standing next to each other wearing the shoes] all my friends are wearing, would it? [the camera takes a closer look at the slippers] Everyone wants them.
• Mr. Krabs: [feeling embarrassed] Eh.. uh... the-they might be.
• Pearl: Whee! [begins to unwrap present] Oh, you shouldn't have, yay, you shouldn't have. [sees the item inside present, suddenly goes from gleeful to annoyed] I mean, Dad, [holds up a pair of big black boots] you really shouldn't have!
• [Pearl's friends come to the table, laughing]
• Mr. Krabs: Pearl, those are the finest [Pearl's friends surround him, all smiley] fishin' boots available!
• Pearl: Dad, you ruined me! [starts to cry]
• Mr. Krabs: But I got them for a bargain!
• [The anchor house shakes from Pearl's screaming and wailing, undoubtedly shaking her dad and friends as well. Bubble transitions to the Krusty Krab, in Mr. Krabs' office with the boots on his desk.]
• Mr. Krabs: [worried] Oh, what am I gonna do? I spent two whole dollars on these boots and now I'm stuck with them!
• SpongeBob: [peeks into Mr. Krabs' office] Oh, uhh, Mr. Krabs, can I get my paycheck?
• Mr. Krabs: SpongeBoy, me Bob! Come in. Come in, right this way, laddie! [takes him to his desk] Have a seat anywhere, but not on these beautiful priceless boots.
• [SpongeBob sits down in the chair, but the boots are in his way, so he can't see Mr. Krabs' face]
• Mr. Krabs: So, you want to get paid?
• SpongeBob: Uh, sir, I can't see you. The boots [leans over to one side and Mr. Krabs leans towards the other] are in [leans over to one side and Mr. Krabs leans towards the other] the way.
• Mr. Krabs: [pushes the boots aside] In the way? These boots never leave my sight! These are the most expensive and prized possessions I own.
• SpongeBob: Wow, really? Why is that? They just look like any old ordinary boots.
• Mr. Krabs: Ordinary boots? These are the only official fry cook boots! Only the finest fry cooks in the world are permitted to wear them! Part of a tradition. And these boots were given to me by the most famous fry cook in the sea.
• SpongeBob: Who's that?
• Mr. Krabs: Oh, uhh, oh, well, his name's not important, but he was famous, all right, don't you worry.
• SpongeBob: ♪ I'm ready! I'm ready! I want those boots! ♪
• Mr. Krabs: Sorry, son. [takes boots away from his desk] These boots are far too valuable.
• SpongeBob: Hmmm.. I know! What if I give you my Krusty Krab paycheck?
• Mr. Krabs: [thinking about the sound of money] Paycheck! You got a deal--
• SpongeBob: And what if I paint the Krusty Krab for free?
• Mr. Krabs: [thinking about the sound of money again] You've got a deal!
• SpongeBob: And I'll throw in a year's supply of French fry orders!
• Mr. Krabs: [thinking about the sound of money yet again] You got a...
• SpongeBob: And... [Mr. Krabs stops SpongeBob from saying anything else]
• Mr. Krabs: [overwhelmed] Hold on there, lad! You're gonna give me a heart attack. Woah. [shakes SpongeBob's hand] You got yourself a deal!
• [Squidward is drying off a glass, rubbing it with a cloth. He blows the glass for a final shine, and is proud of it. He suddenly hears the sound of squeaking.]
• Squidward: [scratches head] Hmm...
• [He then looks through the glass and sees SpongeBob. The scene is now viewed from the perspective of Squidward's eye, though the glass makes things look a bit distorted.]
• SpongeBob: Hey, Squidward.
• [He then moves the glass down and the perspective looks normal. Squidward now sees SpongeBob dancing around wearing tall shiny black boots given by Mr. Krabs which appear to make him taller. SpongeBob is showing off his new boots by turning left and right, back and forth.]
• SpongeBob: Do you like my new boots?
• [Squidward blankly stares at him, and blinks twice]
• SpongeBob: [still dancing, this time doing the butterfly with his legs] Pretty cool, huh? Now, I'm an official fry cook!
• [Squidward feels mildly annoyed.]
• [SpongeBob bounces his head up and down, making the boots squash and stretch while also making them squeak, as Squidward watches. Then he bounces harder and faster until Squidward's head is bouncing up and down really hard trying to keep up. Squidward holds onto his head to keep it from bouncing anymore. Next the sponge starts to squeak his boots around the Krusty Krab, first by jumping, hopping with one boot on his head and his lower half inside the other, walking with the boots on his hands, and doing the moonwalk, each time going back and forth from left to right and vice versa. SpongeBob's boots continue squeaking offscreen and Squidward gets more annoyed at this.]
• Squidward: [blocks his ears, makes an annoyed grunt] That squeaking is gonna drive us all crazy!
• Mr. Krabs: Nonsense, Squidward, that squeaking is money to my ears. [correcting himself] I mean, music.
• [Later that night, Mr. Krabs is going to bed. He's is in his room, lying in his hammock, sleeping and dreaming about dollar bills jumping one-by-one into a cash register like counting sheep]
• Mr. Krabs: [muttering] Arrgh. Money, money, money, money, money. Ten, twenty, thirty, forty... [all of a sudden, the squeaky boots jump into the register, prompting him to jolt awake] Wha? Who's there? [realizing there was nothing wrong] Heh-heh... [fluffs his pillow]
• [Mr. Krabs rests his head on his pillow]
• Mr. Krabs: Back to countin' me money. [falls asleep again and dreams of coins jumping into the register] One, two, three, four, five... [the boots appear again; Mr. Krabs jolts awake again] What the barnacle is that? Uh?
• [He sees that the bedroom window is opening and shutting by itself, making squeaky noises.]
• Mr. Krabs: Errgh!
• [Mr. Krabs closes the window and gets back into bed, but notices the window has opened again. He walks back across the room to close it but steps into a hole and falls out the window yelling, breaking the tip of his leg off in the process. He comes back to run up the stairs, and he enters back to his bedroom, feeling irritated. This time, he watches his step to avoid another hole.]
• Mr. Krabs: Errgh... ooh? [sees the hole] Careful. [shuts the window and goes back to his hammock, but it opens again]
• [He starts shutting it with increasing force and speed until the window finally stays closed, grunting every time he pushes the window.]
• [The window reopens again, and Mr. Krabs gives it the "evil eye" followed by a growl. The window immediately closes back. Mr. Krabs then starts to go back to bed, and yawns as he walks back toward there, but he steps into the same hole he avoided earlier and gets stuck there.]
• Mr. Krabs: Huh? [loses balance and breaks the tip of his other leg off]
• [Mr. Krabs screams as he gets flung into his hammock and gets all twisted up in it. He can do nothing but lie there with bloodshot eyes as the window makes squeaky noises all night, as if it is clapping at him. Fade to the next morning; Mr. Krabs has his legs bandaged up as he drowsily walks to the Krusty Krab.]
• Mr. Krabs: Arrgh, that was the worst night I ever weathered. At least I'll have some peace and quiet at work.
• [As he walks up to the door, Squidward slams the doors open into Mr. Krabs' face.]
• Squidward: That's it, Mr. Krabs; I'm taking my vacation now.
• Mr. Krabs: [muffled] What's wrong, Mr. Squid-ard?
• Squidward: I can't take [sarcastically] "The world's greatest fry cook" anymore! I'll see you in a week. [leaves the Krusty Krab]
• Mr. Krabs: [Looks through the door]That fry cook's making me a fortune. [the next shot shows the customers enjoying their meals] What could be the problem? [as he speaks, the camera pans toward SpongeBob]
• [SpongeBob is shown standing by the register boat, while wearing the same boots from the other day, and is carrying two large plates full of Krabby Patties in each hand.]
• SpongeBob: Hey, Mr. Krabs!
• Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-ob.
• [SpongeBob begins to walk up to Mr. Krabs while still carrying the plates. The camera changes perspective to where it is looking up from the floor, giving SpongeBob's feet the most focus. His boots make a loud squeak sound with every step he takes, and every time his boots squeak, Mr. Krabs stutters. The squeaking gets a bit louder. The camera then changes to Mr. Krabs, getting a close up 3 times after each squeak. SpongeBob comes closer and closer to Mr. Krabs, but he is so tall, all Mr. Krabs can see is his boots. By the time he gets to him, the boots get a full closeup shot.]
• Mr. Krabs: I... uhh, I see you're still wearing them boots. [points to the boots]
• SpongeBob: [raises his right leg] Are you kidding? I love ‘em! [leans towards Mr. Krabs' face] Could "The world's greatest fry cook" do this?
• [He backs up and begins running in place super fast with plates of Krabby Patties in each hand before spinning around, and then kneels down while the Krabby Patties carefully land perfectly onto the plates. Meanwhile, a customer eating at a table is watching in the back.]
• Mr. Krabs: [scratches his head] Well, I don't... uhh... I don't... uhh...
• SpongeBob: [standing back up] Or could he do this? [leans over to his right side and sets the plate on the table without having to move his feet from his spot at all] Or this? [leans to the table on his left side and puts a plate of patties on that table. For a brief moment, the camera switches over to Mr Krabs, who looks nervous, as a bit of squeaking is heard. The camera then goes back to SpongeBob, who has now climbed behind the register and is standing on top of the front of the boat] And watch this, Mr. Krabs! [turns his feet around slightly, making the boots squeak as if they are "talking", switching between each boot mid sentence.]
• Squeaky Boots: [squeaking] Can I take your order?
• Francis: Yeah, I'll have the Krusty Special.
• Squeaky Boots: [squeaking] Thank you, sir! I will squeak when it's ready.
• SpongeBob: [puts his hands on his hips] Could "The greatest fry cook" do that, Mr. Krabs?
• Mr. Krabs: [his eyes go bloodshot] I, uh... uh...
• SpongeBob: And look at this, Mr. Krabs. [holds his breath by holding his nose with his left hand, thus making the boots inflate like balloons, causing him to float in midair. Then he levitates across the room from the left with his boots and legs stretched out far apart horizontally] And this, and this, and this, and this, and this, and this, and this, and this, and this, and this, and this, and this, and this, and this, and this.
• [He continues to do more tricks, such as twisting his boots together, jogging backwards, cane dancing and more. SpongeBob is now showing off so many tricks that he starts zooming out of control all over the Krusty Krab in various different directions and at rapid speed until Mr. Krabs can't take it anymore]
• Mr. Krabs: [his eyes go bloodshot, screams and runs to his office as fast as possible] I gotta go to my office! [shuts the door rapidly and puts seat cushions over his ears, but the noise can still be heard through the door and walls] I can still hear it! [puts chairs over his ears] It's still coming through! The infernal squeak! [he repeatedly bangs his head on his desk] Those boots have got to go! And I need an aspirin.
• [That night, at SpongeBob's pineapple house...]
• SpongeBob: [walking past Gary to his bed with his boots still on] Gary, these boots have changed my life. I'm never taking them off.
• Gary: [goes into his shell, comes out with earplugs in and meows]
• SpongeBob: [after turning the lights off, in his bed] Good night, Gary.
• [SpongeBob pulls the covers over him with his feet sticking out. He then wiggles his feet, making the boots squeak one more time before going to sleep. As SpongeBob is sleeping with his boots on, Mr. Krabs peeks over his diving board and climbs down. He sees the boots, which inflate and deflate with SpongeBob's adorable snoring pattern. Mr. Krabs then takes the boots off his feet and runs to the Krusty Krab, laughing quietly as he runs back. Some hammering sounds are heard, then a rooster crows as night fades to morning. Mr. Krabs now sniffs his money.]
• Mr. Krabs: [off-screen] Ah, quiet money. [now standing behind the counter, satisfyingly sniffing a handful of money] Silence and money.
• [SpongeBob suddenly bursts through the double doors, tearfully.]
• SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs!
• Mr. Krabs: What is it, my boy?
• SpongeBob: [comes closer to Mr. Krabs crying, while looking at the ground] Oh, Mr. Krabs, I'm sorry! Sorry! Sorry! I'm sorry!
• Mr. Krabs: It's okay, son.
• SpongeBob: [cries harder and looks up at his boss with tears streaming down his face] No, it's not okay! [lets out a deep inhale] I lost the boots! [shaking his head back and forth] Your valuable boots, it's my fault, I let you do-o-o-own! Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry! Ohh, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.
• Mr. Krabs: Hold it, boy! It's not the end of the world.
• SpongeBob: Yes, it is!
• Mr. Krabs: Look, don't cry. I got some, uh... [holds up some oven mitts] ...some magic oven mitts!
• SpongeBob: [puts them on his feet, waits a second, then kicks them off in frustration] They're not the same! You were right. I wasn't ready for those blessed boots. [walks into the door, opens it, then goes into the kitchen]
• Mr. Krabs: Poor lad... [looks through the window and sees that SpongeBob is saddened about losing the boots and he has his head down... right on top of the hot grill]
• Tom: [taps Mr. Krabs twice on the shoulder, as if feeling concerned if Mr. Krabs upset SpongeBob] Excuse me?
• Mr. Krabs: [startled] I didn't do it! [sees Tom] Oh. [chuckles] Can I help ya?
• Tom: Yeah, I'm ready to order.
• Mr. Krabs: [takes out a notepad and a pencil, ready to write the order] What'll ya have?
• Tom: I'll take a [squeak-squeak].
• Mr. Krabs: [becomes surprised] What did you say?
• Tom: I said, I'll take a [squeak].
• Mr. Krabs: Huh?
• SpongeBob: [still in tears] I heard his order, Mr. Krabs. He says he wants [squeak-squeak].
• Mr. Krabs: What?
• Tom: And a [squeak-squeak-squeak-squeak].
• Mr. Krabs: Huh?!
• [Mr. Krabs starts going insane, imagining everything and everyone squeaking.]
• Mr. Krabs: Huh? [more squeaking] What? [yet more squeaking] Huh?
• [He sees "squeak" as an item for everything. He looks at a clock with labels "squeaky" and "squeak" and continuously ticks.]
• Mr. Krabs: [scared] What the-!?
• [Mr. Krabs keeps thinking and hearing the squeaks, this time seeing a distorted menu with items that only read "squeak" multiple times. His eyes now start becoming red, visibly showing red vessels.]
• Mr. Krabs: I didn't write that! [utters a scared sound, continues seeing the distorted menu]
• [Mr. Krabs recalls the squeaking from SpongeBob and Tom.]
• Mr. Krabs: Who said that? Wha...?!
• [Mr. Krabs continues to see distorted memories that keep squeaking. The entire screen gets bleached out, as if to depict extreme insanity. He gets paranoia from a dripping kitchen sink.]
• Mr. Krabs: [scared] What?!
• [He even imagines the dripping kitchen sink makes squeaking sounds instead of dripping sounds.]
• [Mr. Krabs continues to see distorted memories that keep squeaking. Eventually he starts seeing visions of SpongeBob and his boots.]
• SpongeBob: [in Mr. Krabs' head] Could "The world's greatest fry cook" do this? And this, and this, and this, and this, and this, and this...
• [Mr. Krabs' eye starts swirling as he imagines him speaking, engulfing his own sight with a blur of items orbiting inside his view, including the boots themselves.]
• Mr. Krabs: [snaps] Stop it! [the camera zooms out to reveal two customers getting startled by his scream] Stop it! [his eyes start contorting] Oh! Eh! Don't you hear it?!
• [A few other customers in the corner had also witnessed the scene. They look at Mr. Krabs like he's crazy, while one of them blinks. Mr. Krabs appears mentally insane.]
• Mr. Krabs: Yes, I did it! [the camera pans to SpongeBob, who is still teary and watches Mr. Krabs losing his cool] I did it! I took the boots! They're here! Under the floorboard! [sobbing, goes even more insane] Oh, please! Make it stop! It's the squeaking of the hideous boots! [throws himself onto the floor and bawls] I'm sorry... [lifts up the entire Krusty Krab and grabs the boots, with everyone screaming inside.] ...but I can't take the infernal squeakin' no more!
• [Mr. Krabs sees the ghastly boots, his pupils in his eyes become X's, and he lets go of the entire Krusty Krab. He runs into the kitchen with an insane expression on his face and puts the boots into a vat of grease, which shrinks them, and he eats them. After that, he opens the door to the dining room and finally lets out a long burp.]
• Mr. Krabs: The deed is done.
• SpongeBob: [confused] Umm, why did you eat my boots, Mr. Krabs?
• Mr. Krabs: Because, lad, you didn't need 'em. It's not the boots, it's the boot-ee. I mean, uh, the person... in the boots. You're a great fry cook.
• SpongeBob: You really think so, Mr. Krabs?
• Mr. Krabs: I do, son. [hands SpongeBob a stack of money] Here's the paycheck I owe you. [puts another stack of money on top of the first stack] Plus a bonus! [takes the second stack of money] Well, here's your paycheck anyway. [walks away, speaking to himself] I need a vacation.
• SpongeBob: [waving] Bye, Mr. Krabs!
• [Fade to Mr. Krabs and Pearl taking a drive out to somewhere, with a campervan behind their boat]
• Mr. Krabs: Ah, a long week away from Bikini Bottom is exactly what I need, just me and my darling daughter Pearl.
• Pearl: [lifts her feet over the side of the door to reveal her new shoes] Don't forget my new flipper slippers, Daddy!
• Mr. Krabs: Darling, I won't. [as he laughs, he hiccups and the squeaky noise comes out] Oh, no. [continues to hiccup and squeak as they drive off into the distance and the episode ends]