The Graveyard Shift: In the Beginning/transcript

This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants DVD bonus feature "The Graveyard Shift: In the Beginning." It can be found in the Nautical Nonsense and Sponge Buddies DVD, which was released on March 12, 2002.

• Jay Lender: What we got from this show was three pages describing how SpongeBob and Squidward are going to work overnight, and Squidward tells a ghost sor- story and then becomes scared by his own story. [cuts to Lender drawing storyboards] We're changing it, and revising it, and trying to make it funny, and then when we think we got it all working properly, we, um, we pitch in front of the entire group and some of the executives. And that's the big one, that's the one that makes you nervous. Because, if it's not funny, they don't laugh, and if they don't laugh, you do it again. [chuckles] But the schedule doesn't change, you still have to get it done three weeks later.
• [cuts to Lender standing in front of a wall of storyboards]
• Jay Lender: [imitating Squidward] There are three signs that signal the approach of the hash-slinging slasher! [points to a storyboard] Third foot comes up, oooo, to make the three signs, [imitating Squidward] First, the lights will flicker on and off, on and off! Next, guy walks up, 'Dude can I have some ketchup?' Here ya go. Next! The phone will ring, and there will be nobody there! He points to the phone, and finally, the hash-slinging slasher arrives in the ghost of the bus that ran him over. [imitates SpongeBob being scared] SpongeBob's chattering his teeth, he exits the bus and crosses the street without looking both ways because he's already dead! He taps on the window with his grizzly spatula hand! [imitates SpongeBob] No! [imitates Squidward] He opens the door! Creeeaak. He slowly applo- approaches the counter, and he leans in toward SpongeBob, SpongeBob's face squeezes back into his body, and then do you wanna know what happens? [switches between imitating Squidward and SpongeBob] Yes! Are ya sure you wanna know what happens? Yes! He gets ya! He pops up behind SpongeBob [screams] Sponge screams, [screams repeatedly] and Squidward's just laughing, [imitates Squidward's laughing, then SpongeBob's screaming] and Squidward's just pounding on the table [imitates Squidward's pounding and laughing while screaming] And he starts crying, and then he starts relaxing and the screaming is still going on. [imitates SpongeBob's screams] We get to the wide shot. [continues screaming] Now Squidward's getting angry it's still going on. [screams] SpongeBob, I- [screams] SpongeBob, I-
• [Lender follows the storyboards with his finger]
• Jay Lender: [imitates SpongeBob screaming] I was just- [screams] SpongeBob's mouth- I was just- [screams] His pupils are screaming. [screams] Aah! SpongeBob, I was joking! [imitates SpongeBob] What? It's not true- [switches back to Squidward's voice] It's not true, none of it's true! It's not? Of course not, nobody has a spatula for a hand, that's ridiculous! So it's not real? No, I made it all up! It was a joke. There's a huge beat while SpongeBob thinks about what he's just heard. And then he starts laughing. [imitates SpongeBob's laugh] And the laughing goes on just like the screaming, we fade to black. And I need to breathe. Okay.