A Taste of Plankton/transcript

This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "A Taste of Plankton" from season 15, which aired on February 28, 2025.

[The episode opens on an exterior shot of the Chum Bucket. Plankton is sitting on a chair and watching TV.]
Narrator: And now back to The World of Gross Sea Life. [a title card is shown with various sea creatures on it; it shows a slide with the Realistic Fish Head] Observe how this ingenious parasitic isopod [it sticks out its tongue, which has a parasite on it] finds a new home by attaching itself [the fish closes its mouth] inside a fish's mouth, becoming its new tongue.
Plankton: Ooh... [grins]
Karen: That's the most [shows a vomiting emoji on her screen] disgusting thing I've ever seen!
Plankton: [jumps down from chair, grunts] Disgustingly genius! It's giving me a wonderful idea! [points to a pot of glue being poured] I'll glue myself to SpongeBob's tongue! [rubs hands together] By hiding right in that fry cook's face, I'll be in the perfect position to [wiggles fingers] collect the Krabby Patty sample. [evil laugh]
[The glue bubbles and pops. Hot glue spills on Plankton, making him scream and flail. Karen pulls him out of it; his lower body is ripped, revealing pink skin and his underwear.]
Karen: Ooh, what could possibly go wrong?
[Bubble transition to Plankton, dressed in a pink costume, exiting the Chum Bucket with Karen.]
Plankton: [points to suit] Clever disguise? Check. [shakes empty jar] Sample container? [puts it in his suit] Check. [takes out glue] Glue? Check. Time to begin Operation Tongue Oppressor! [sits down and practices licking]
[Cut to SpongeBob's pineapple. SpongeBob is ironing a pair of his pants.]
SpongeBob: An iron a day keeps the wrinkles away. [dumps bricks out of his pants, hears doorbell ringing and heads to the door] Ooh, I hope it's a salesman.
[He opens the door to see Karen, dressed up and with a paper plate mask tied on her screen.]
Karen: Candygram.
SpongeBob: Ooh, I just love a poetry slam candygram!
Karen: Poetry? Well, okay. Roses are red. Candy is sweet. Uh, eat with your mouth, not with your feet?
SpongeBob: [pauses, then waves hand] Words to live by.
[Karen gives him a heart-shaped box of candy and leaves. SpongeBob sits down on the couch. All the holes are full of candy, except one with Plankton in it.]
Plankton: That's it. Eat the delicious little Plankton.
SpongeBob: I'll just have one little candy. [eats one, pauses, looks around] Who am I kidding? [eats the entire box, except Plankton]
Plankton: Come on, you dolt! Eat me!
SpongeBob: [picks him up] Oh, this pink candy looks so delicious!
Plankton: Yes! Yes!
SpongeBob: [hands it to Gary] That I saved it just for you, Gary! [throws Plankton into Gary's mouth]
Plankton: [screams]
Gary: [teeth spin like a garbage disposal]
[Fade to black. Fade back in to SpongeBob's house, with a trash can outside. SpongeBob, carrying a scooper, takes out a litter bag and puts it on top.]
Plankton: [nervous whimpering, leaves trash can] I have to get inside that mouth breather's mouth. [shrugs] Maybe disguise myself as a door-to-door dentist. [waves hand dismissively] No, that's not a thing.
[SpongeBob steps on Plankton.]
Plankton: Ow!
SpongeBob: Ew! I stepped in some old gum. [glances around, peels Plankton off]
Plankton: [groaning, screams as SpongeBob throws him into his mouth and chews him]
SpongeBob: [blows a bubble, which pops]
Plankton: [groaning]
[SpongeBob chews Plankton, making him scream.]
Plankton: And now I just have to glue myself to his hideous tongue. [stands up, takes out glue bottle and struggles to open it] Come on! [SpongeBob bites the glue, gluing Plankton to his tongue] Oh... Yes! [laughs]
[SpongeBob walks along, with his Krusty Krab hat on. He takes a book out of his pocket.]
SpongeBob: The Tiny Book of Tortuous Tongue Twisters. Perfect for my morning exercises. My tongue has to be in tip top shape to taste my patties.
Plankton: Tongue twisters?
SpongeBob: [enunciating, swinging Plankton around] The squad of odd cod abhorred the sassy cephalopod.
Plankton: The pain! Huh? [sees the Krusty Krab] This dream scheme gone full steam guarantees Eugene screams. [his tongue is twisted] Oh, boy, now I'm doing it.
[SpongeBob walks into the Krusty Krab, past Squidward, who is cleaning a table.]
SpongeBob: Morning, Squidward!
[SpongeBob's bad breath wraps itself around Squidward's neck.]
Squidward: [groaning, hyperventilating] Ugh, your breath smells like chum.
SpongeBob: [breathes on his hand, smells it, nose burns off] It is a bit stinky.
Plankton: [pushes SpongeBob's teeth away] You try passing through a snail's intestines and see what you smell like.
SpongeBob: [takes out breath spray] A little breath spray should help.
[He sprays it. Plankton screams and his eye burns.]
SpongeBob: [smacks lips] Better get some patties out of the freezer for today's orders. [opens the freezer door and turns on the lights] Oh, no! We're out of patties! [zoom out to show the freezer empty]
Plankton: Of course you are.
SpongeBob: Which means I get to make a whole new batch. Hooray!
Plankton: Even better! [closes SpongeBob's teeth] I'll have a front row seat to the whole process.
[SpongeBob opens the cabinet. It contains only green jars with letters printed on them.]
SpongeBob: A little secret ingredient A...
Plankton: Secret ingredient A?
SpongeBob: [pours some A in, then B] Two blobs of B, [kicks C, D, and E] some C, D, E, [spins G and tosses it, then catches it] G, [pours a measuring cup in] two cups of this, [dumps a red substance on] a jar of that, [sprinkles some white dust from Z] and just a pinch of Z.
Plankton: What's this guy making, alphabet soup?
SpongeBob: Mix well. [mixes the jar and splats it back down] Perfect. Now for the taste test.
Plankton: That's it, baby. [opens jar] I only need one sample. [yells as SpongeBob tries to lick the spoon, hits the mixture] My eye!
SpongeBob: Ugh, these patties are kind of bland. I can't taste them at all. Time to get a little creative. [walks away and returns with stinky cheese] Ah, maybe some Limburger cheese will help. [puts it in]
Plankton: Oh, no, not Limburger!
[SpongeBob mixes it and tastes it. Plankton's eye waters.]
SpongeBob: Still blah. [dumps a jar of sauerkraut in] Ooh, how about a little sauerkraut? [throws some glowing green peppers in] Flying Dutchman peppers, [lifts his hat to reveal a jar of a gross substance] and this old jar of toe jam. [puts it in, mixes it, and puts it to his mouth]
Plankton: Good Neptune, not in your mouth!
SpongeBob: [chews]
Plankton: [groans, faints]
SpongeBob: [smacks lips] Still doesn't have any taste.
Plankton: Oh, I've made a critical error! [looks at glue] My glue has covered that dope's taste buds.
Squidward: [leans through order window] Get a move on, SpongeBob! The orders are piling up!
SpongeBob: No problem, Squidward! [puts some of the mixture on the grill] Uh, I guess it'll have to do. [exits with a plate of patties] The Krabby Patties are ready, Squidward.
Squidward: Whatever.
[SpongeBob gives the patties to the customers.]
Woman customer: Hey, Neptune, I'm starving!
Male customer: Finally!
[The woman eats the patty and is disgusted.]
Woman customer: Is this even food?
Male customer: [eats the patty, turns purple, it goes back up] Ew! This is disgusting!
Customers: [choking, spitting up]
Fancy woman: I'll never eat here again!
Pink woman: I've had better garbage!
Orange man: It tastes worse than chum!
[Pan over to Mr. Krabs' office. He is taking a bath in his money.]
Mr. Krabs: Mmm... [exits office in his underwear] Worse than chum!? [takes a patty and bites it, his eyestalks burn up, runs to SpongeBob] What have you done to my patties?
SpongeBob: [steps out of his office, chews it] Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. Krabs. The patties have no flavor at all today.
Krabs: No flavor? More like too much flavor! [looks in SpongeBob's mouth] They taste like the Flying Dutchman's long johns.
Plankton: [looks nervous, whistles]
Krabs: I'm afraid your taste buds are worn out, boy-o. [shuts SpongeBob's mouth]
Plankton: Whew.
Krabs: Until your tongue recovers, you're off grill duty. Turn in your hat and spatuler.
[SpongeBob holds out his spatula and Krabs pries it away from him.]
SpongeBob: [groans, deflates, exits]
Plankton: That's one more for the failure pile. Time to abandon tongue. [pulls on suit zipper, but nothing happens] Ah, blast. The zipper's covered in glue.
[Cut to Patrick sitting on his rock and armpit farting.]
Patrick: My left armpit still sounds a little sharp.
Patrick: Hmm. My left armpit still sounds a little sharp. [twists his armpit hair, armpit farts again] That's better. [sees SpongeBob walking up] Hey, SpongeBob.
SpongeBob: [sadly] Hey, Patrick.
Patrick: What's the matter?
SpongeBob: I can't taste a thing. My tongue is broken.
Plankton: He goes to Patrick for advice? It's the nitwits leading the dimwits.
Patrick: Your tongue's probably just dirty. That happens to me all the time. [shows his gross tongue]
SpongeBob: [gasps] You're the smartest smart person who ever smarted! Give me a little runoff music, maestro.
Patrick: [armpit farts rapidly]
[Bubble transition to SpongeBob's house. He is in his bathroom, and takes out some soap.]
Plankton: Sweet Neptune! [SpongeBob scrubs him rapidly and sticks the soap in his mouth]
SpongeBob: [spits out soap, smacks lips] I need something stronger.
[Cut to a Boat Wash sign.]
SpongeBob: This should do the trick. [walks in, holds his mouth open]
[Plankton gets scrubbed by rotating brushes, groans, gets blasted with hot wax and screams, and a hair dryer blows his face back. SpongeBob exits the car wash, with Plankton looking cleaned up. SpongeBob runs up to a man on the street.]
SpongeBob: May I borrow your hat, sir?
Man: Oh, of course!
SpongeBob: [licks hat, saddened, hands it back] It tastes like emptiness.
Man: [licks hat] Tastes fine to me.
[Bubble transition back to SpongeBob's house.]
SpongeBob: Oh, my poor tongue is just worn out. Guess it's time for a new one!
Plankton: What!?
[SpongeBob takes out his tongue and unzips it, puts it on a rack, and picks out a new one. He zips it on.]
SpongeBob: Haha, silly me. Why didn't I do this earlier?
[He hears a doorbell and goes to answer it. Patrick is at the door.]
Patrick: Can I borrow that dirty old tongue of yours?
SpongeBob: Of course. [leans back and grabs Plankton]
Plankton: [plotting] Patrick eats more Krabby Patties than anyone. Why didn't I do this earlier? [Patrick takes him]
SpongeBob: Sorry, my old tongue's a little loud.
Patrick: That's okay. [rips out his tongue and puts Plankton on]
Plankton: [rubs hands together] Perfect!
Patrick: I'm just gonna go grab a bite to eat [fade to him at the Chum Bucket] at the annual chum-eating contest!
[Zoom out to show the contest, with him competing against the Ice Cream King and a hillbilly. A "Grand Prize" sign has a paddleball on it.]
Plankton: Chum-eating contest? Was that today?
Karen: On your marks, get set, chum!
Patrick: [starts eating the chum]
Plankton: Oh, why can't I have a detachable tongue?