Cretins of the Night

Characters

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• Patrick Star
• Squidward Tentacles
• Eugene H. Krabs
• Kidferatu
• Jimmy Blobfish
• Roxy
• Preda Tory
• Nurse Helga

Synopsis

SpongeBob and Patrick are watching a horror movie with the Trawlers, but sympathize with the vampire antagonist over the main characters. SpongeBob and Patrick think about how cool being a vampire would be and ask Kidferatu if he can turn them into vampires, which he initially disagrees to. They beg him and he agrees to make them temporary, mortal vampires, shoving them into coffins and having them come out as vampires. Kidferatu teaches them the basics of being a vampire, from how to fly properly to transforming into a bat. SpongeBob and Patrick, as bats, repeatedly fly into a bug zapper and attract Mr. Krabs' attention.

Kidferatu brainwashes Krabs into being his thrall and makes him dance. Squidward comes out of the bathroom, so SpongeBob and Patrick hypnotize him. SpongeBob makes him smile, but is creeped out and asks him not to. He tells him to dance, and Patrick has Squidward dance to the kitchen and bring him a sandwich. However, Patrick cannot eat regular food as a vampire, needing to drink blood instead. Kidferatu tells them that they do not feed off their friends, and takes them to the first aid cabin, where they raid a refrigerator full of blood bags, where they drink and spray each other.

Nurse Helga comes in and tries to hunt the two vampires down. SpongeBob and Patrick try to evade her, but she always manages to follow them. Afraid, SpongeBob and Patrick beg Kidferatu to turn them back to normal, which he does. Nurse Helga tells them to get to bed, and it is revealed that she teamed up with Kidferatu all along to scare them. Kidferatu remarks that SpongeBob and Patrick are nice kids, but annoying vampires, and he and Helga go to watch a horror movie. Meanwhile, a hypnotized Krabs and Squidward are still dancing around the camp.

Production

This episode was confirmed on December 25, 2023.

Music

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Trivia

General

• Kidferatu speaks in this episode through using a hand puppet.
• The sandwich prop in this episode is re-used from "In a Nut's Shell."

Cultural references

• Nurse Helga's pursuit of SpongeBob and Patrick contains references to various classic horror movies.

Names in other languages

Language	Name	Meaning
German	Vampir sein muss schön sein	Being a Vampire Must Be Nice