Karen for Spot/transcript

This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "Karen for Spot" from season 13, which aired on February 3, 2023.

[The episode begins with an open shot of the Chum Bucket. Spot is heard barking.]
Karen: [folding tiny underwear] All right, Plankton. [puts underwear into tiny suitcase and closes it] I managed to fit 12 changes of underwear into your suitcase. [picks up suitcase] Will that be enough for the trip?
Plankton: [laughing, playing with Spot] I'm gonna be gone for three days, Karen, so yeah, that should cover it. [Spot licks him and he laughs] That's right, Spot. Daddy has to go to the annual [pets Spot] Doomsday Device Expo in Shell City. [cradling Spot] He's gonna find you an instrument of ultimate evil. Yes, he is.
Spot: [gets up and barks, next to several sticky notes]
Plankton: Don't worry, boy. [patting sticky note] I left lots of instructions for Mommy, so she knows exactly how to care for you while I'm gone. [zoom out to reveal several sticky notes plastered onto the wall] My wittle man just needs [holding Spot's cheeks] wots of extra wove, and I would destroy the whole world if anything happened to him. [hands go inside Spot]
Karen: [off-screen, taxi honks] Oh, your taxi's here. [opens door, holding Spot on leash]
[The taxi pulls up in front of the Chum Bucket. They all walk to the taxi.]
Karen: Off you go, Sheldon.
Plankton: [entering taxi] So long, Karen. Bye, Spotty! [taxi runs off]
Karen: [waves] Bye, Plankton. Have a nice trip. Looks like it's just you and me, Spot. [looks down to see Spot has escaped the leash] Spot? [comes inside to see Spot tearing up the sticky notes, gasps as screen turns into a "!"] [facepalms] Oh, Plankton's instructions! Spot, bad amoeba.
Spot: [barks excitedly]
Karen: Oh, who needs Plankton's little notes? A sophisticated AI like myself should have no problem with a simple organic being. All he needs is [screen turns into text reading "ANALYZING"] a basic analysis. [laser pointer comes out of her, which points ahead of Spot]
Spot: [barks, runs off]
Karen: [running after Spot] No! I'm not done analyzing you! [Spot goes through double doors] Spot! Heel, boy. Heel!
Spot: [barks, sits]
Karen: [accidentally runs over Spot] Uh-oh. [poking Spot puddle] Is he supposed to do that? Hmm, maybe he needs a little pumping up. [air pump comes out of her finger]
[Karen inserts the air pump into Spot and starts inflating him to a large degree. She takes out the air pump and puts the air pump back in her finger.]
Karen: [patting Spot, smiling] There you go, Spot.
Spot: [barks, explodes]
Karen: [screams] I killed him! [hears door knocking] Huh? [gasps, looks through window and hides, then hestitantly opens door] Who sent you? What do you know?
SpongeBob: [with Gary on his head, waving] Hi, Karen. [holding and spinning Gary] Gary has a playdate with Spot, remember?
Gary: Meow.
Karen: Uh, oh, with Spot, huh? [laughs nervously] Well, uh, the thing is, Spot can't play today because he's, uh-- he--busy. He's busy. He's, uh, busy being, um... [dial-up beeps] All over the place in bits and pieces because I exploded him! [crying, filling SpongeBob with oil]
SpongeBob: [laughing, deflating] Yeah, that's Spot all right. [laughs and goes inside with Gary]
Karen: [going inside] Huh?
SpongeBob: [calling out] Spot, come to SpongeBob! [whistles]
[All of Spot's pieces in the room come together in SpongeBob's hand to reform him.]
Karen: How did you figure that out?
SpongeBob: [lets go of Spot, who bounces] This happens all the time when he plays with Gary.
[Spot barks, then Gary splats him with his eye stalks. This repeats.]
Karen: Oh, I admit, looking after Spot while Plankton is gone is proving trickier than I thought.
[Spot hops on some tables, sucks up an entire food plate, and chews on a ketchup bottle, making him squirt ketchup all over the place while flying in the air.]
SpongeBob: [shrugging] Maybe he needs to burn off some energy?
[Bubble transition to SpongeBob walking Gary on a leash. Karen struggles to pull Spot along on his leash.]
Karen: How are you so strong?
[They all arrive in downtown Bikini Bottom. SpongeBob takes Gary off of his leash, and Karen sighs. Gary slithers around a fire hydrant and leaves a trail behind. Spot approaches the hydrant and burps acid onto it, disintegrating it, as well as making a hole below.]
Gary: Meow? [water shoots out of hole] Meow! [hides in shell] Meow.
[The hole causes a flood to happen, making the traffic crash into each other, including a fire truck.]
Karen: Spot, look at this mess!
SpongeBob: Come on, Spot. Don't you want to be a good boy like Gary?
Gary: [siren blares, with first aid outfit on] Meow. [slithers away]
Spot: [burps acid onto his leash, freeing him and running off, barking]
Karen: [she and SpongeBob start chasing after Spot] Spot, no! Bad boy!
[Gary uses his teeth to carry a pedestrian out of the traffic crash. Meanwhile, Spot is bouncing past several people.]
Mustached man: Whoa! [mustache jumps onto his head]
Kid: [Spot eats his ice cream, cries]
[Spot goes through a police officer's donut and bounces past him. SpongeBob and Karen are still chasing after him.]
SpongeBob: [calling from on top of Karen] Spot! [runs past everyone, knocking over the mustached man's mustache and accidentally taking away the cop's donut]
Cop: [accidentally eats hand]
SpongeBob: [pointing to donut on his nose] I nose this ain't my donut. [rimshot, launches donut]
Cop: Oh. [donut launches into his mouth]
[Karen is still chasing after Spot.]
Karen: He's too fast! How can this get any worse? [phone icon appears on screen as it rings]
SpongeBob: [takes out telephone from Karen's head] Karen's head, how may I direct your call?
Plankton: [on phone] Oh, yes. May I talk to Karen? Wait a minute. Who is this?
Karen: [takes phone] Uh, uh, that was me... [laughs] Throwing my voice, and now it's you. How's the Doomsday Expo?
[Cut to Plankton at the Doomsday Expo, where several villains are seen, and the building is heavily damaged from fire.]
Plankton: Oh, it's over. I'm coming home early.
Karen: [on phone] You're what?
Plankton: But I bought the most evil world-conquering device I could find. [holds a sphere with runes on it, and souls escape from it] Anyway, [puts away device] how's my little Spot? Put him on the phone. I miss his voice.
[The scene cuts back to Karen, where she is stopped at a crosswalk as Spot moves past her.]
Karen: Put Spot on the phone?
SpongeBob: Whoa!
Karen: This phone?
SpongeBob: [whimpers] Ooh. [lassos telephone straight onto Spot, crushing him]
Spot: [on phone, barking]
Plankton: [cutting back to him] There's my wittle man. Sounds like Mommy is taking good care of you.
Firefighter: [holding onto tiny suitcase with tongs] Hey, some idiot left this tiny suitcase next to an open flame! [drops tongs and suitcase] Oh, no.
[The building explodes, causing everyone to scream and leave.]
Plankton: Uh, gotta go. [runs off]
Spot: [cut back to him, starts running off]
[The traffic starts to move quickly, and Karen presses the crosswalk button. She and SpongeBob cross the road and continue after Spot. Karen finally manages to catch Spot with her hands.]
Karen: Whew, let's get back before Plankton comes home.
[An ambulance comes by and stops in front of them. Gary comes out.]
Gary: Meow.
SpongeBob: Oh, hey, Gary. How was your shift?
Gary: Meow.
[Bubble transition back to the Chum Bucket, where SpongeBob and Karen are sitting at a table, eating bowls of chum.]
Spot: [barking angrily]
Karen: [raising voice] What's wrong? [pokes SpongeBob's chum] You haven't touched your chum.
SpongeBob: [raising voice] No, thank you. I don't really eat chum.
Karen: Yep, me neither. [tosses bowl of chum]
Spot: [jumps onto table, barking angrily]
SpongeBob: [raising voice] Karen? Have you fed Spot yet?
Karen: No, does he not consume power from his battery?
SpongeBob: [raising voice] Uh, no. He consumes... other stuff. [slides chum bowl to Spot]
Spot: [sniffs, eats entire bowl, continues barking]
Karen: Are you still hungry?
Spot: [barks angrily]
Karen: Okay, how 'bout a nice, um, [holds napkin dispenser] a napkin dispenser?
Spot: [eats napkin dispenser holder, continues barking]
SpongeBob: Gee, Spot'll eat anything, huh?
French Narrator: [narrating time card] One humongous meal later...
[Spot eats the Chum Bucket's lab doors and returns to Karen, still barking like usual. He eats the seat Karen is sitting on.]
Karen: [growls] No more, Spot. You literally just ate us out of house and home.
Spot: [continues barking]
Karen: [picks up Spot] Fine, you're still hungry? [slaps Spot] I'll give you all the nourishment you'll ever need. [screen turns into a pill, and one pops out of her, which she picks up] Here, I synthesized a perpetual [feeds Spot pill] nutrient pill. [Spot drops down] It'll keep feeding you so you'll be full. Forever. [Spot starts growing exponentially] Huh? Uh--
SpongeBob: Hey, Karen? Is he supposed to be getting bigger?
Karen: That was not in my calculations.
SpongeBob: It's gonna stop soon? Right?
Gary: Meow!
Karen: [they start to get smushed by Spot] Uh, well, you see, SpongeBob, I didn't program the pill to stop. Ever.
[Plankton's taxi stops in front of the Chum Bucket as it's about to explode.]
Plankton: [walking with doomsday device] I gotta be careful with you. [laughs] One wrong move and you'll blow the whole ocean sky-high. [laughs, notices Spot] Huh?
Spot: [barking happily]
Plankton: Huh, the good times never last. [screams and runs away as the Chum Bucket and Spot crush him] Ouch!
[Spot continues growing, catching the attention of others.]
Citizens: Huh? [murmuring]
Plankton: [escaping Spot] Karen! [SpongeBob, Karen, and Gary come out of spot] None of my sticky notes said to turn Spot into a behemoth!
Karen: Well, this wouldn't have happened if [points to Plankton] you had trained him properly.
Plankton: I'm a busy man. [waves finger at Karen] You should've been following my instructions.
Karen: Excuse me? I am your computer wife, not your computer maid!
Spot: [whimpering]
Karen: [off-screen] I slave all day over a hot keyboard--
[An open shot of Earth is shown as Spot continues to grow larger.]
Plankton: [off-screen] Oh, so everything is my fault! It's all ones and zeroes with you, honey. [being held by Karen] You probably made Spot bigger than me on purpose...
SpongeBob: Ooh! [holds bone] Aha!
Plankton: To make me feel small!
SpongeBob: [calling] Spot?
Spot: [notices bone] Ah!
Karen: Your mouth is the biggest part of you-- [off-screen, Spot gets excited and licks his lips] Everything about you is small.
Plankton: [off-screen, Spot tries to reach for the bone] My heart is big.
Karen: My mother was right, I should not have settled.
SpongeBob: Look!
Karen and Plankton: [look at Spot, Karen's screen turns into a question mark] Huh?
Spot: [barking, pushing towards them]
Karen: Spot! I think he's... dividing.
Plankton: Aww, he doesn't like it when Mommy and Daddy fight. Come on, boy. Come to Papa. Come to Daddy.
Karen: Come on, boy!
SpongeBob: Come on.
Gary: [meowing]
[Spot detatches from his body mass and falls down]
All: Spot!
[Spot lands on top of Plankton.]
Plankton: [picks up Spot] Aww. [gets licked] Aww.
Karen: [picking up Plankton and Spot] Oh, I can't stay mad at these [touches Plankton, screen turns into heart] cute little faces.
Plankton: Well, I'm still a little mad. [Spot licks him, both laugh]
[SpongeBob gives the bone to Spot, and then laughs with others. The citizens of Bikini Bottom look up at Spot's giant mass, which absorbs the sun, making it disappear. The screen fades to black because of the shrinking sun.]