The Grill is Gone/transcript

This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "The Grill is Gone" from season 11, which aired on October 21, 2018.

[The episode begins at the Krusty Krab. The place is a complete mess and all of the customers are sick to the stomach after eating too much Krabby Patties.]
Mr. Krabs: All right, Krusty crew, listen up. Last night's buy one get one full price Krabby Patty sale went great! But the crowds left me restaurant dirtier than usual.
[Squidward rolls his eyes in disgust. Mr. Krabs looks at Squidward and smears a smug of goop off his face.]
Squidward: Hey!
Mr. Krabs: Eeeh! [smears the goop on SpongeBob's face] So I'm gonna need you to clean until this whole place sparkles!
SpongeBob: Ooh, you've got it, Mr. K.
[SpongeBob takes out a vacuum, plugs it in his face, and begins sucking up the garbage. He sucks the garbage from two customers, making one look like a handsome millionaire and one a skeleton. Then he sucks the remaining garbage all over the restaurant. He scrubs the cash register clean with a brush. He notices the brush is dirty and scrubs it with the toothbrush. He scrubs the screen with the two brushes, creating a transition to outside. SpongeBob then goes outside, plugs a hose in his head and fills himself up with water. Then, like a outdoor sprinkler, he dances around and sprays water all over the place, making the restaurant sparkly clean inside and out.]
Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, are you all done cleaning?
SpongeBob: [sprays water in Mr. Krabs' face] Oh, just finishing up now, Mr. Krabs.
[Mr. Krabs grabs the hose, ties it in a knot and throws it out. The kitchen is now all sparkly clean.]
Mr. Krabs: This place looks great! Well done, lad. All right, [puts the work hat on SpongeBob's head] time to get back to cooking. [notices the grill is missing] Huh? Oh, where's the grill?
SpongeBob: Oh, I took it outside to air dry. [opens the back door] See?
Mr. Krabs: Hmm. [looks around and sees nothing] See what?
SpongeBob: [crawls over Mr. Krabs and goes outside] The grill. It's right here.
Mr. Krabs: Right here, where?
SpongeBob: Under my arm, silly.
Mr. Krabs: The grill is gone.
SpongeBob: [laughs] The grill is gone. [notices the grill is in fact missing] The grill is gone?! [falls down, screams, and runs in panic] The grill is gone! The grill is gone! The grill is gone! The grill is gone! The grill is gone! [screams and breathes heavily while Mr. Krabs just stand there and roll his eyes] Grill gone! The grill gone! Oh, look, it must be the grill's trail. [licks the sand] There's still some grease flavor here. Come on, Mr. Krabs, I'll taste the trail all the way to the grill.
Mr. Krabs: Um, we could just use our eyes, boy-o.
SpongeBob: Oh, great idea, Mr. Krabs. [walks on his eyeballs]
[Mr. Krabs groans and follows SpongeBob. SpongeBob follows the trail to an old, abandoned race boat garage. He blinks the sand off his eyes.]
SpongeBob: Look, Mr. Krabs, a race boat garage. But what would a garage need a grill for?
[Mr. Krabs and SpongeBob go up the window and peak inside.]
Mr. Krabs: This ain't no garage. [sees four children] This here's a clubhouse for local ragamuffins, urchins, and waifs. [sees the grill] Look, and there's me grill.
SpongeBob: What are they doing to it, Mr. Krabs?
[The two twins spray paint all over the grill's sides to look like flames.]
Boy twin: Whoa.
Girl twin: Cool.
Boy twin: Whoa.
Girl twin: Whoop.
SpongeBob: Aah! No!
[The smallest kid hammers a wheel on the lower half of the grill.]
SpongeBob: Why?! Why?!
[The chubby kid with a red hat drills a steering wheel on the grill's surface.]
SpongeBob: No! Not the cooking surface! That's where all the flavor is! [cries]
Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, zip it!
SpongeBob: Ooh, thanks. [zips his pants] You know, not every friend'll tell you when you—
Mr. Krabs: [clamps SpongeBob's mouth shut] You stay here. I'm gonna get me grill back.
SpongeBob: But how, Mr. Krabs?
Mr. Krabs: Don't worry, boy-o, they're just kids. They have to listen to me. [pulls up his pants and goes inside] Hello, children. I'm an adult. This here is me grill, so I'll just be taking it back now.
Hat kid: Hey, what do you think you're doing, mister? That's our racing cart!
Mr. Krabs: Racing cart?! That's no "racing cart." That there is a top-of-the-line Grill King 3000, and it belongs to me. [holds up the documents] See? I brought all the relevant paperwork. [gives the documents to the children]
Hat kid: This looks more like homework. [rips up the document] We don't take kindly to homework around here.
Boy twin: Yeah!
Girl twin: Homework stinks!
[The twins rip up the documents too. The smallest kid eats the document and spits it in Mr. Krabs' face.]
Hat kid: I think you just wanna steal our racing cart.
Mr. Krabs: I can't steal something I already own! [groans] That's it! Out of me way, you imps! [pushes the hat kid] Grown-up coming through!
Hat kid: Hold your sea horses, old man! [winks at the small kid]
[The small kid winks back at the hat kid. The small kid climbs the ladder, holds up a carrot and makes a sea horse spin around. The sea horse activates the drill and pokes a worm underneath, causing it to yelp in pain. The worm pulls on a rope, causing a hammer to remove a nail and forces a plank to hit Mr. Krabs' rear end.]
Mr. Krabs: Whoa! Heh, that's it? Your little kiddie trap doesn't—[gets crushed by two log and the kids laugh]
[SpongeBob gets in between the logs and separates them.]
SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, you okay?
[Mr. Krabs groans and falls flat on the floor.]
SpongeBob: [helps Mr. Krabs up] Let me try talking to them, Mr. Krabs. I think I can reach them. After all, I have something you don't: the heart of a child. [shows his heart laughing like a baby; he goes over to the kids and looks at the grill] Yeah, not a bad little cart you guys have built.
Hat kid: Oh, gee, mister, you think so?
SpongeBob: Mm-hmm, too bad it looks slow.
All four kids: Huh?!
SpongeBob: Yep, no way this thing could beat our cart, not in a million years. [spins the steering wheel]
Hat kid: Our cart is the fastest in Bikini Bottom!
Both twins: The fastest!
SpongeBob: Oh, really? If only there was some way to prove it.
Hat kid: How's about a race, then?
SpongeBob: How's about the winner of the race gets to keep the loser's racing cart?
Hat kid: How's about it's on? See you tomorrow morning at the top of Murder Hill. [leaves with the other kids]
Mr. Krabs: [grabs SpongeBob by his nose] What do you think you're doing, boy-o? We don't have a racing cart!
SpongeBob: Of course we do, Mr. Krabs. There's just some assembly required.
[Mr. Krabs lets SpongeBob go.]
French Narrator: Zee Next Morning...
[The scene changes to the next morning. Thunder claps around the sign that reads, "Murder Hill." SpongeBob pulls the racing cart he and Mr. Krabs made. It consists of two tables, a worn-our driver's seat, the cash register for the steering wheel and the register boat for the cart.]
Mr. Krabs: You sure we built this thing right? It looks a little funky.
SpongeBob: Well, what do you mean? [holds up the blueprint] We followed my blueprint. [the table in SpongeBob's blueprint falls off] Besides, there's nothing to worry about. We just have to make it through one quick race down this teensy weensy little [stretches himself as he looks down the hill] deadly, steep, utterly terrifying hill! [gasps]
[As he looks down the hill, he sees a couple of boats driving, some erupting volcanoes, flying dinosaurs, and deadly traps near the finish line. SpongeBob gulps nervously and the four kids arrive with the grill. The kids laugh at SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs' cart.]
Hat kid: Ha! You call that a racing cart? Looks more like the slow boat to Palookaville.
[The kids laugh obnoxiously.]
Mr. Krabs: It's on, you whippersnappers! [grabs SpongeBob and hops into the cart; he then notices Plankton in a cart of his own] Plankton, what are you doing here?
Plankton: When I heard your grill was on the line, I had to get in on this race. If there's even one little smudge of patty on there, the formula will be mine. [activates the spikes on his cart]
[The worm from the race cart garage holds up the racing flag. The kids, Mr. Krabs, and Plankton growl at each other. The worm waves the flag and the race begins. But before it does, Mr. Krabs flicks Plankton off the track, sending him flying and crashing into a rock.]
Plankton: Barnacles!
[SpongeBob, Mr. Krabs and the kids go down the hill. Mr. Krabs and the hat kid stare and growl at each other. The contestants drive all the way down the hill until they reach the streets of Bikini Bottom, running over several people in the process. They even run into Bubble Bass and cause him to lose his Krabby Patty. The twins hold up two bags of marbles and throw them in Mr. Krabs' eye.]
Boy twin: Ha, ha, take that!
Mr. Krabs: [shakes the marble off] Watch it, you hooligan!
[The twins throw more marbles at Mr. Krabs. Mr. Krabs attempts to smash into the kids, but ends up getting his eyestalks grabbed and strangled by them.]
Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, look out!
[The kids, Mr. Krabs, and SpongeBob are heading straight to an incoming intersection. SpongeBob skids his foot to slow the cart down, but ends up burning his foot. The kids, SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs crash into the intersection, causing a major pile up. One boat hits Mr. Krabs' eyestalks and send it flying into the pile up, causing it to fall over. The smallest kid comes out from the grill's oven, takes out a pair of pliers and clips the front wheel off of SpongeBob's cart.]
All four kids: Ha, ha!
SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, the steering's out! They cut our brakes! What do we do?
Mr. Krabs: Uh, oh, uh, maybe we should call their parents?
SpongeBob: No, Mr. Krabs! You can't win a kid's game by thinking like an adult! You have to think young. [shows himself as an innocent child]
Mr. Krabs: You're right, boy-o. We have to delve deep back into me childhood! [takes out a teddy bear, curls up in a fetal position, sucks his thumb and cries like a baby]
SpongeBob: Too far back, Mr. Krabs! Too far!
Mr. Krabs: [snaps out of it] Oh, oh, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Check this out. [hops to the back] I learned it in me old Wormtown skating days! [leans the cart back and skates like a skateboard]
SpongeBob: Whoa, Mr. Krabs, I didn't know you could shred.
Mr. Krabs: [sees the "Plug and Such" store] Whoo, hey. [gets an idea] I got a plan! Hold on!
[Mr. Krabs swerves the cart into the plug store and grabs a really long plug. Then they catch up to the four kids and the grill.]
Mr. Krabs: Plug 'em in, boy-o!
[SpongeBob takes the plug and goes to plug it in the back of the grill. But every attempt makes him miss the outlet.]
Mr. Krabs: Come on, SpongeBob! What's the holdup?
SpongeBob: Sorry, Mr. Krabs. My hands get clammy when I'm defying death. [reveals a clam in his hand] See? Ta-dah. [laughs as he lets the clam goes and flies in between Mr. Krabs' eyes]
Mr. Krabs: Enough magic tricks! Plug 'em in!
[SpongeBob finally plugs the grill.]
Mr. Krabs: Yeah!
[All of the sudden, the grill's surface begins to light up. It causes the hat kid's bottom and the twin's feet to burn. They hop up and down in pain until the plug stops the grill and sends the four kids flying off. They land on the ground and the smallest kid comes out in a pie.]
SpongeBob: Yay, the finish line!
[Plankton crawls up to the finish line, but gets crushed by SpongeBob's cart. SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs cross the finish line, but they end up crashing into a pole and getting themselves hurt.]
Mr. Krabs: [shudders] I won.
[The scene changes back to the Krusty Krab. SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs are covered in bandages in order to recuperate. SpongeBob happily flips the patties on the grill and hugs it now that he's happy that he got it back. Mr. Krabs is in the dining room talking to some grown-ups about their adventure.]
Mr. Krabs: And so, after some quick thinking and fancy racerin', I won me grill back. I looked at those kids in the eye and said, "I own these streets. Don't ever come back to me restaurant ever again...Until you have money." Adults rule!
[Mr. Krabs and the grown-ups laugh. Suddenly, they hear a loud crash outside.]
Mr. Krabs: Hey, what's going on?
[It was the four obnoxious kids again. This time, they're using the whole restaurant as a racing cart instead.]
Hat kid: Whoa, let's see 'em beat us this time. [whistles]
[The twins and the small kid push the restaurant forward and hop on.]
SpongeBob: Here we go cart again! [laughs as the restaurant begins to drive away]
Mr. Krabs: Zip it, boy-o.
SpongeBob: Oh, thanks, Mr. Krabs. Not everybody'll tell you when—[gets cut off as the restaurant drives down the road]