Don't Be a Jerk

"Don't Be a Jerk (It's Christmas)" is a song that was released as a bonus on the SpongeBob's Greatest Hits CD. This was also included in the 2008 "Built By Me" Lego competition part of Nicktoons Network Animation Festival.

The song was later featured in the series' second Christmas special, It's a SpongeBob Christmas! In the episode, SpongeBob and Sandy, find that the song's music works as an antidote to Plankton's jerktonium-laced fruitcake, so SpongeBob sings the song to everyone in Bikini Bottom, returning them to their normal forms.

Lyrics

Lyrics highlighted in red text were only used in the album version of the song.

[Speech]

Ahoy, everybody! SpongeBob here. Christmas means presents and mistletoe, sharing and caring, so during this most festive season, please, don't be a jerk.

Bring joy to the world; it's the thing to do

But the world does not revolve around you

Don't be a jerk

It's Christmas!

There's a sign above the line that says "Express"

That means ten items or less

Don't be a jerk (don't be a jerk)

It's Christmas

Be nice to babies and animals, old folks too

'Cause that's how you'd like them to treat you

Use turn signals, don't screen my calls

Don't you wreck my house when you deck the halls

Spit your gum where it won't wind up on my shoe

Squeeze toothpaste from the bottom of the tube.

Don't be a jerk (don't be a jerk)

It's Christmas!

It's Christmas!

When others are talking never interrupt

Don't put people down or leave the toilet seat up

It's the time for family and holly and turkey

'Tis the season to be jolly not jerky (jolly not jerky)

Don't dig in the cereal box for goodness sakes

Take the prize and leave me nothing but flakes

Don't be a jerk (don't be a jerk)

It's Christmas!

Santa brought nearly every gift on your list

Why whine about the one that he missed?

Don't be a jerk (don't be a jerk)

It's Christmas!

It's Christmas!

Don't be a jerk (don't be a jerk)

It's Christmas!

Don't be a jerk (don't be a jerk)

It's Christmas!