You're Old

"You're Old" is a song that played in the episode "Mid-Life Crustacean." An extended version of this song is available on The Yellow Album.

Lyrics

Episode versionAlbum version

Radio DJ: You've got it tuned to K-O-L-D, K-Old, your all-oldies station. Here's a little something you may remember from the good old days.

You're old (You're old)

Groaning like a geezer

Feel yourself a-cracklin'

Like an old has-been

Look at yourself, old man, you've got multiple chins

'Cause you're old!

You're old (You're old)

Groaning like a geezer

Feel yourself a-cracklin'

Like an old has-been

Look at yourself, old man, you've got multiple chins

'Cause you're old!

[instrumental break]

You're old (You're old)

A wheezing decrepit windbag

Where you once had muscle

You've got jelly rolls

Buddy, you're as ancient as the Dead Sea Scrolls

Man, you're old

(You're old)

You're old

Trivia

• In some countries, the radio only broadcasts an instrumental version of this song because it contains controversial lyrics.
• The Radio DJ is voiced by Rodger Bumpass, Squidward's voice actor.
• K-OLD, in real life, is a CBS affiliated TV station in Tuscon, Arizona.